Feedback on Mix

  • Thread starter Thread starter mspin
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mspin

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https://soundcloud.com/renips/moving-on

I could use some fresh ears. I always get some very useful feedback and would appreciate some on this song called Moving On. It's a 3:00 minute song.

Thanks



Moving On
Written By Mark Spinner

Verse
I’ve had some time to think about that girl
What a twisted love affair I shared with her
She thought she was the center of my world
With all her empty promises and broken words

Chorus
Just like the winter freeze that melts in the spring
I know it’s time for me to be moving on
Just like the ocean waves that leave with the tide
I know it’s time for me to be moving on

Guitar solo

Verse 2
OK so here is the honest truth don’t blink
Inevitably your heart might break in two
To never love is just a shame I think
A broken heart will mend itself it’s true

Chorus
Just like the autumn leaves that fall from the trees
I know it’s time for me to be moving on
Just like a shooting star that there and then gone
I know it’s time for me to be moving on
 
An interesting start to the song. There is a great, strong, confident and controlled voice there. Maybe be a bit more selective on where and how you use vibrato.

Chords are interesting but the guitars are doing the same thing throughout. Maybe you can think about some variation in the rhythm parts.
 
gecko zzed said:
An interesting start to the song. There is a great, strong, confident and controlled voice there. Maybe be a bit more selective on where and how you use vibrato.

Chords are interesting but the guitars are doing the same thing throughout. Maybe you can think about some variation in the rhythm parts.
Click to expand...

Thanks for your input. I appreciate the time. You make some intelligent points
 
Agree with gecko, a lot of vibrato. Vibrato harmonies even! LOL ...to me the song doesn't go anywhere really. Not much difference between verses and chorus. Maybe sing the verses a little more laid back and bring the energy in the chorus. You can even try doubling the chorus parts and give them a wider stereo space.
 
In the intro the low tom has too much reverb/room going on compared to everything else.
Agree with Bruthish, the song doesn't progress, maybe because it's all at the same volume, and even when the drum beat changes (lead guitar part), it's still mostly the same.
 
https://soundcloud.com/renips/moving-2

Here is an updated version. I paid attention to the ideas you guys put forth. The updated version is called Moving 2. Compare the two and let me know if it is progressing. Thanks so far for all of your valuable time. This link will play the updated version and the original will follow, I think
 
The vocal harmony at the chorus on "Mooooooving On" was really cool! That's just what the song needed.
 
I liked version two more.

The guitar in the left side is too loud and the vocals are being overpowered by it.
 
I thought I remembered you posting before, you have that Toy Matinee vocal and sound. Sounded good.
 
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