Feedback on lyrics

  • Thread starter Thread starter ColdAsh
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ColdAsh

New member
Hey guys i was up last night listening to Mayonaise by the Pumpkins (their bst song in my opinion) realising that my lyrics suck compared to Billy's. So i started to jot down a few lines. Let me know which you think i should keep or let go. As always be blunt, thier new lyrics so im not attached to them:

lyrics 1:
and for the pain i feel im damned
and though my love did all it could
its not enough to make a stand
its not enough to end the pain

could it be there was no maining
played the fool to stop from hiring
had to see there was no reason
had to love and do the bleeding

lyrics 2:
anger eases the pain
empy as the days go by
fear is all i have
its the excuse to just not try

lyrics 3:
waiting for time to kill me
nothing more for life to end me
purpose to be what i am
my heart and spirit forever damned

lyrics 4:
cherry lips and cheap cocain
another one night stand with fame
woundering in life that has no end
and everythings led me round the bend

looking for all the wrong reasons
trying to end my every feeling
running from the girl i knew
hiding from my fear of you

There they are. Looking on them now they all seem fairly crap but the first set dont seem too bad. Anyway let me know what you think.
 
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