Feb Challenge Sample

[up-fiddler]

OK. It's been ages since I wrote a dirty cheatin' bastard song so I thought that I might give it a try and show an example of what a February Challenge song might look like. This clearly needs a lot of work but it may be a start. If I continue with this theme I will adopt the structure brought to us by geckozzed back in December and jot down my thoughts as I write. Note that the chorus does not take the 1,2,5 and 3,4 rhyme form of the verse. I would guess that will generally be the case for this challenge but I could easily and happily be surprised. Anyhooooo.... sample below:


I crept out of the house today
I had not left home to betray.
Yet the pretty Angeline
Helped me taste forbidden wine.
And my heart has slipped astray.

Chs.
Don’t lovers dance?
Can’t lovers cry
When who they love
Let’s love go awry?

 

[up-fiddler]

Radical change is taking place

'Can't lovers dance?' is the line that inspired the next thoughts and what I am writng here. By the by, I started at 4:30AM local time today. So I have changed tunes since the other one was going nowhere fast. I am looking at a sorry time in our country when black/white struggles were very much a part of our society. Blacks who broke the unwritten rules often paid for it with their lives. They could, however, rise to the top in the entertainment business as long as they ‘stayed in their place.’ I am starting with the ending and working the story backwards which will ruin it for those of you who watch it unfold. It should make a good tune for everyone else though. I have two lines of the chorus for certain and a possible third. The song will be about a black dancer/entertainer.

Have you seen him swayin’ in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He could dance so lightly that he barely touched down.

 

[up-fiddler]

I still like the name Angeline and the purity attached to it. She will make a great seductress/villain. The song ending will be something like this. The object will be to add new clarity to the chorus……and of course to tell a story.

They came from all over the town
To make him dance one more round
And to help him swing free
They hung him in a tree
Just because his skin was brown.

 

[up-fiddler]

And now a rough beginning. Now for the hard part.....the rest of the song.

They came from all over the town
To see him lightly step round
He would swing so free
That the earth left his feet
He called himself Dancin’ Sam Brown.

 

[up-fiddler]

Minor progress

I have changed a couple of words to stress absence of volition. I also have change the metre in my head to 3/4 time. Perhaps it is because I played around writing a waltz yesterday and I can't get the 1,2,3 out of my head. Still.....I believe 3/4 time is the way to go with this one.


First verse
They would come from all over town
To watch him lightly step round
He would swing so free
That the earth left his feet
He called himself Dancin’ Sam Brown.


Da dum da dum (Repeat as necessary) I will be stealing gecko's lines until the intermediate verses are completed.


Last verse
They pressed in from all over the town
To make him dance one more round
And to help him swing free
They strung him up in a tree
Just because his skin was brown.

Chs.
Have you seen him swayin’ in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.

I still don’t like this line and need to look closely at it before I write myself into a corner

 

[up-fiddler]

Horizontal progress

In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs. I still don’t like this line and need to look closely at it before I write myself into a corner The stupid corner it is though. I need to get on with the song.

He was leaving the bar heading west
Going home for some well deserved rest.
But young Angeline
So pure and so clean,
It was clear, was a maiden obsessed.

Ah, the villain enters the picture at last! This Challenge is more difficult than I had imagined. I am having a tough go of it trying to stay within the strict limerick rhyme scheme. The song is now in ¾ time and that will certainly help but cludgy meter may be as close as I get to a set of lyrics.

Sammy knew better than to drink from that cup.
Forbidden fruit never makes for good sup.
But Angeline showed
Him her secret abode
And he was there when they both woke up.

 

[up-fiddler]

Here is what I have so far......

I am not happy with it in the least but will give it some study over the next few days. I may throw some music under it and see what happens. I know I can do better but I simply haven't taken charge of the forced rhyme scheme yet. Say,"Lah Vee".

They came from all over the town
To watch him lightly step round
He would swing so free
As the earth left his feet
They called him Sweet Sammy Brown

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.

He was leaving the bar heading west
Going home for some well deserved rest.
But young Angeline
So pure and so clean,
It was clear, was a maiden obsessed.

He knew better than to drink from that cup.
Forbidden fruit never makes for good sup.
But Angeline showed
Him her secret abode
He was still there when they both woke up.

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.

People pressed in from all over the town
To make him dance yet one more round.
And to help him swing free
They strung him up in a tree
Cuz his name and his skin was brown.

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.

 

[gecko zzed]

In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs. I still don’t like this line and need to look closely at it before I write myself into a corner

Take heed . . . I'm about to break the Challenge rules (sort of). I totally agree that you'e got a nasty line and a tricky corner there. I expect you will work your way out of it. If you are totally stuck by the time it comes to doing something with this, sing out, because I might be able to help you get out of it.

 

[up-fiddler]

I know, I know....

....but life has gotten in the way of the things I truly enjoy. Anyway, here it is lyrically with minor mods. Today I will write the music and record a simple guitar/vox or piano/vox ballad to meet the deadline that some arbitrary bastard set for us.

Note that the choruses were changed to a reverse limerick to keep with the spirit of the Challenge. (2,4,5) I'm still not fond of the song though. Music to follow......

Have You Seen Him?
c.Dave Morehouse 2009

They came from all over the town
To watch him lightly step round
He would swing so free
As the earth left his feet
They called him Sweet Sammy Brown

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.
He would dance for people everywhere.

He was leaving the bar heading west
Going home for some well deserved rest.
But young Angeline
So pure and so clean,
It was clear, was a maiden obsessed.

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.
He would dance for people everywhere.

He knew better than to drink from that cup.
Forbidden fruit never makes for good sup.
But Angeline showed
Him her secret abode
He was still there when they both woke up.

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?
He would dance so lightly that he barely touched down
In the bars, on the streets, at the fairs.
He would dance for people everywhere.


People pressed in from all over the town
To make Sammy dance yet one more round.
And to help him swing free
They strung him up in a tree
Both his name and his skin was Brown.

Have you seen him swaying in the moonlight?
Have you seen him turning in the air?