False Hope - Oliver Cheung

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olivergtrhk

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Hello Home Recording, I have been a long time lurker here free-riding on all the awesome knowledge available:guitar:

so after dropping music for a fair amount of time due to personal circumstances I finally picked it up again and this is what I have done recently:

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VY2hjCakVU
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/olivergtrhk


It's not great but I spent two weeks on this already so I felt like I should just put it out there and move on.
Please give me comments on how can I improve my mix/tone in my next song!
Any feedback is welcomed :) :guitar:

Oliver
 
I like it Oliver. Nice ambient metal style.

The main thing I would work on is the arrangement. It starts all mellow for quite a while and then goes dark metal for the rest of the song until another mellow bit at the end. I think it would be more interesting if you gave hints of the darker sounds earlier, and similarly broke up the darker sound with mellow sections. I think switching between the 2 is the weakness you can work on. The mellow bit at the end kind of wants some chunky bits here and there slowly dying away.

It was nice to see your 7 string in the vid, but otherwise I found the guitar sounded more dynamic when the vid window was covered by the home recording window I used to write this :) I would advise seeking out someone interested in doing dark animation for your vids.
 
Tobe said:
I like it Oliver. Nice ambient metal style.

The main thing I would work on is the arrangement. It starts all mellow for quite a while and then goes dark metal for the rest of the song until another mellow bit at the end. I think it would be more interesting if you gave hints of the darker sounds earlier, and similarly broke up the darker sound with mellow sections. I think switching between the 2 is the weakness you can work on. The mellow bit at the end kind of wants some chunky bits here and there slowly dying away.

It was nice to see your 7 string in the vid, but otherwise I found the guitar sounded more dynamic when the vid window was covered by the home recording window I used to write this :) I would advise seeking out someone interested in doing dark animation for your vids.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your feedback Tobe!

I listened to the track again after reading your comments and I fully agree. I meant to have a crescendo from the strings at the end of the first clean part when transitioning but that doesn't seem to come out well.

You are totally correct on the point on animation and video, I myself would love to have some sort of video accompanying the music as that is exactly how I prefer writing music. I feel more inspired when writing "in pictures", so to speak. that being said, I'm just a nobody and I know no one who does this sort of stuff. So now I'm just trying to put my stuff out there hoping for any opportunity in the future for collaboration. :)
 
You are not a nobody... you are Oliver Cheung! :)

But the truth is everybody is nobody. History remembers Julius Caesar nothing like he actually was, the real Julius is a nobody.

Anyway, you have 2 sounds to play off against each other. Think of them having some kind of conversation or narrative with each other. Perhaps you can think of one as being feminine or rational, and the other masculine or irrational... or you could think of one sound being the predator and the other being the prey... and let the song dance between them a bit more.
 
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It plods. You also seem trapped in the play it twice song writing style, sometimes playing it once and then on to the next part is better in order to build feel and tension. The song becomes predictable since I know for every new variation introduced I'll be hearing it twice (with some exception, you change up what the drums/bass are doing a few times).

Mixing wise the cymbals could come up a little. Otherwise I though everything was well layered, EQ'd properly, and placed around the stereo field nicely.
 
olivergtrhk said:
Please give me comments on how can I improve my mix/tone in my next song!
Click to expand...

One thing I noticed was how that bass sound sort of disappears when the other guitars come in - even before the heavy part starts. It would be good if you could figure out how to avoid that kind of frequency masking. Maybe using a real bass guitar would help. Dunno.
 
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