The snare drum is insane.
I know you are going for a heavy handed blast-attack style of drum sound but this way just screams fake drums. Since you are asking if this is approaching a comercial mix then obviously you want this to be convincing to people, so here is my advice.
Listen to somebody like Derek Roddy or Tony Loreauno and check out the snare drum sounds. I'm sure you are familiar with them being a death metal dude. In addition to slight timing variations, there is also a big difference in the "velocity" of the individual hits. That is what makes the drums sound real.
In fact I think that in your case this is even more important than the tone of the drums. Also, be more mindful of what a drummer with two hands and two feet can really play, and use that train of thought in your programming. Trust me, I am aware of the mind blowing speed and precision of alot of DM drummers nowadays, but there is a limit. A good example is the really fast snare rolls that pop up at the end of some blast beat measures. Nobody can really play that, at least not with the full on velocity that you hear in your song. Perhaps if you brought the velocity way down during those rolls and had it fade out and maybe have one solid hit at the end. Think about when a drummer would have some real shit behind a hit, and when it would just be sort of a studder or a flick of the wrist type of hit like a quick shot at the snare drum like you have so much of in this song, and adjust the velocity accordingly. Especially with a snare drum and cymbals - a difference in velocity has a big effect on the sound or timbre of the drum as well. If you are using DFH you surely have a big library of drum sounds including various sounds for different velocities. Definitely use that capability!
All of this also applies to the hat/ride cymbals. Variations is speed and timbre is very important to make those drums sound more realistic.
Hope this advice helps.
