Emergency. Song a friend wrote

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dodgeaspen

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My band and I are recording this song that my lead vocalist wrote a few months ago and was wondering what some of you guys think. The cama's might be a little wrong but please overlook it.


Why am I here? All I do is nothing. Am I just existing for myself? I am so tired of all the heartache. In my life, all I do is fail.


So is their anyone who believes in me? If your out their I don’t know at all. I’m dialing 911 it’s an emergency. I’m hopping that someone will get my call.


I’ve crashed and burned almost all my life. I’ve been in jail, divorced so many times. Never had no money, just been struggling. But I will tell you that I’m doing fine.

So is their anyone who believes in me? If your out their I don’t know at all. I’m dialing 911 it’s an emergency. I’m hopping that someone will get my call.

Anger always chocking the life out of me. Don’t know will I ever loose it’s hold. Corrupted by the thoughts, but I don’t wanna be. I’m tired of all the pain down in my soul.

So is their anyone who believes in me? If your out their I don’t know at all. I’m dialing 911 it’s an emergency. I’m hopping that someone will get my call.
 
Good song Dodge! It's something I wish I had wrote. Good job. (I figured I would comment since no one else has.)
 
It's rather depressing, being ignored.

I don't know what a 'cama' is, so I can't comment on that.

I also find it easier to read lyrics when the lines are shorter (and I also sorted out some spelling problems), e.g.:

Why am I here? All I do is nothing
Am I just existing for myself?
I am so tired of all the heartache
In my life, all I do is fail.

So is their anyone who believes in me?
If you're out there I don’t know at all.
I’m dialing 911, it’s an emergency
I’m hoping that someone will get my call.

I’ve crashed and burned almost all my life
I’ve been in jail, divorced so many times
Never had no money, just been struggling
But I will tell you that I’m doing fine

So is their anyone who believes in me?
If you're out there I don’t know at all
I’m dialing 911, it’s an emergency
I’m hoping that someone will get my call.

Anger always choking the life out of me
Don’t know, will I ever loose its hold?
Corrupted by the thoughts, but I don’t wanna be
I’m tired of all the pain down in my soul.

So is their anyone who believes in me?
If you're out there I don’t know at all
I’m dialing 911, it’s an emergency
I’m hoping that someone will get my call

I like the "I'm dialling 911, it's an emergency" line.

I expect it will make a good song. The lyrics flow well. But it's not a topic that I can relate to very well . . . there are many self-flagellating, angst-ridden songs around . . . I'm not really ready for another one!
 
Thanks for the advice. I meant to write comma not cama. I hate making dumb mistakes like that.
 
I like it. I think verse 1 could use a rhyme...did I miss it? It's a strong song with lots of emotion coming through. Tells the story well and does so within a few verse (shorter is my preference)... Will we get a chance to hear it once recorded?
 
Thanks for the post ido1957. Yes i will post the song when it's done. Thanks for the response. As far as the first verse, it's just a lead in to the song. i guess that's why he wrote it that way. In the beginning of the song I start the song with my cymbals backwards and then he comes in saying, I'm hoping that someone will get my call. Hope that makes some sense. I think it will come together when you hear what I'm talking about.
 
There’s a kind of twisted Spectre Girl band potential to this song. I think it is the whole calling on the telephone. I keep on hearing 60’s harmonies and a pop beat – I’m big on irony at the moment, sorry if that isn’t the direction you saw it going.

There is a brutality in the brevity of the lyrics that I enjoy – it reminds me a bit of ‘beatnik poetry’ just stating the list of ‘neglected’ the singer has suffered.

I look forward to the recorded version
 
Whatmysay said:
There’s a kind of twisted Spectre Girl band potential to this song. I think it is the whole calling on the telephone. I keep on hearing 60’s harmonies and a pop beat – I’m big on irony at the moment, sorry if that isn’t the direction you saw it going.

There is a brutality in the brevity of the lyrics that I enjoy – it reminds me a bit of ‘beatnik poetry’ just stating the list of ‘neglected’ the singer has suffered.

I look forward to the recorded version
Click to expand...

Thanks for the comments. My friend and I like to write about what we are feeling at the time. It just seems more real. When I write I want people to know my lyrics come from my heart and not just a bunch of words pasted together. And yes, we will have some congas and tambourines in this song. That's cool you heard that in your mind. I will post whenever I get it recorded. Right now we have no lead or rhythm guitar player so were waiting for something to come through with that.
 
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