Dum, dummer, dummest - or, how not too....

  • Thread starter Thread starter sjoko2
  • Start date Start date
Oh well - this one isn't even sound - its light. And it wasn't me either, but a light engineer I worked with for years, a brilliant one at that, but, ehhhhh

Well, lets say that it was in the '70's and our light engineer sorta enjoyed smokin'and'a'sniffin. Oh yes, and swallowing, he loved to mix all sort of drugs to 'get the right groove going'. Uppers, downers, pot, coke, you name it, he did it, in great volume.

He fell over, off the stage, one day, and broke his upper arm and elbow. It was set, he joined us back on the road a couple of days later, with his arm in a huge cast, sticking out sidewards from his shoulder, upper arm pointing under his chin, and a piece of wood under his elbow, connected to a big belt around his waist, to hold it up.

Of cause the hospital had told him to go home and rest, and had given him some drugs for the pain. He was back on the road instead, enjoying the 'new pills' in combination with everything else. In other words, he was out of it.

The riser for the console had a tower over the top of it, the home of 2 super-trooper follow spots, and some special effect lights.
We did a sound check, he had just finished giving directions for fine tuning the focus of some lights, we were standing on the stage, finished, ready to go and grab a bite to eat backstage, when he announced 'I need another special up there', grabbed a spot from a flightcase, went down the steps and walked into the arena towards the riser. We were waiting for him to come back, so 12 of us are standing there watching him.

To our surprise, when he got to the riser, he didn't stop, he started up the ladder. Picture this. Left arm immobile, in plaster, right arm holding a heavy spotlight.
We were watching, nobody said anything at all, dumfounded. He made it halfway up before he realised he was climing a 'straight-up' ladder, without hands, holding a heavy spotlight in one hand.
Of cause by then, it was to late, he fell backwards, broke his wrist on the arm-in-plaster, had a hole in his head requiring multiple stitches, and a concussion.
He caught up with us 2 days later.

By the way, he was brilliant at his job. Sometimes just a bit of a liability - Like the time he forgot he had already put extra magnesium power in the flashpots, did it again, and blew every cone out of every speaker of the PA and the stagegear. For the PA that just ment replacing 32 x 18" cones, 64 x 15" cones and 192 x 12" cones, and we didn't have that many spares...........
Oh yeah - he also blistered the drummers ass that same time, the flashpot behind him roasted his leather pants.
 
Might as well dump this one too, as it is REALLY STUPID!!

1973, The Who, gig in a macabre place in Berlin, the huge 100.000 plus concrete open air stadium where the nazi's held a lot of their rallies.
Finished setting-up and checking everything, Skip Cassidy, Moon and I are messing around behind the line-up. Moony has a pair of those big paiste marching band cymbals, the ones with the wooden handles in the middle. We decide to see who can make the loudest noise with them. Keith first, then me, then Skip. Skip wins, likely because he is a 6'7" human forklift. But we decide that isn't enough. So I grab one cymbal, Skip the other, we both walk to a differenct side of the stage, turn with moony shouting GO!!, run towards each other, hands holding the cymbals out in front.

Well........ first of all I gave Skip 7" in height, and I'm sure some 40 pounds plus in weight as well. We didn't quite hit 'on-axis', which ment my wrist with the cymbal sort of twisted and almost sliced Skip's ear off. His cymbal didn't miss. I suddenly hear the strangest noise I've ever heard, and noticed that the thing was firmly stuck in my head. I remember wondering why everything was out-of-focus, and I clearly remember that Keith's already pale color had changed to pure white. Next Skip pulled the cymbal out of my forehead and I started bleeding like a pig.

I remember coming around in the hospital, looking at the clock and go 'oh my god - the gig'!! I gotta go! A big argument, they insisted I signed all sorts of papers, but I went out, got a cab, and went back to the stadium.
Did sound, with earplugs, headphones, and towels draped around my head and the worse headache I've ever had.

Back in the hotel I found that John Woolf (wiggy - he didn't have any hair) went with me to the hospital, and was in the loo when I legged it.
He just said 'ehhh, you'll be alright old son, you've just got a fractured skull according to the x-rays, thats all.
 
I know it doesn't realte to studios. I just realted it to your doctor popping your shoulder back into your socket. I don't havy any major studio building ones yet, unless you count the time I dropped my brand new 21" monitor onto my foot and broke it carrying it into my studio. Yeah, that sucked. Hurt like a bitch and broke 3 toes, but I didn't realize the pain 'til after I reaized I had to buy another monitor. Luckily, somehow the company fixed it under warranty, and I got another one, which I had 2 people help me carry up my front steps.

Jake
 
Gee sjoko -- when are you going to write a book about your interesting and outrageous life?? :D

Hey... what band were you in?

cheers
John
 
I was in a band from age 15 to 18, thats all. Hated being on stage, liked doing sound better. Kept playing, but just on recordings. At the Berlin thing, I was doing FoH - from behind the PA :).
Book? I've been asked that millions of times. If you've been on the road and in the studio with all the lunatics, you've got some stories. (helps if you're a lun yourself as well). I don't think I ever will. The only people who'll believe it are those who were there in person.
 
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