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I was a real-life drummer (a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...LMAO) before I started composing.
most people, with NO musical experience (other than listening...) can "bust" an electronic drummer better than you'd think. the trick is to get it "good enough" that they dont notice or care, in my honest opinion.
someone said to make sure that "your electronic drummer only uses two hands", and thats great advice. If you have one hand on the ride cymbal, and one hand on the snare... which third hand just hit a tom or a cymbal? As a real drummer, I realize this and pick it out, non drummers or people with no musical experience "sense" this even if they cant say exactly "why" they dont like it.
velocity adjustments after th basic beat is working was good advice.
another thing most dont think of unless they "geek out" on it, is subtle pan cues.
if you stand in front of a live drummer, and close your eyes, you notice that the various instruments (drums and cymbals, etc) are panned out R to L in real life. With headphones on, you clearly hear a "tom run" going subtly from right to left across your sound stage in your headphones.
in the same way, rapid fire snare hits develop a "machine gun" electric snapping sound, as do fast tom-tom rolls. velocity adjustments alone will not fix this. If your software has multiple sounds that alternate for each drum sound in your "kit", thats great. If it does not, you make each snare hit a HAIR left and a HAIR right (panning...) from ewach other, but only slightly.
This helps give the illusion the right and left hand are alternating.
same thing goes for any double bass work... the right foot and left foot have to be slightly panned apart.
If you start with a "fairly basic" 4/4 or 8/4 drum beat... and copy it into different identical parts, you add a snare hit in one, add a double bass hit in another, etc etc... then mix them up, it helps a lot.
some mixers advise snare a hair off center, some like it dead center, flip a coin.
its pretty hard to "fool" even casual listeners, without high end samples, and specialized software, and there is a steep learning curve at any rate. Just dive right in, make a basic, mechanical 4/4 beat, and go from there, slowly adding stuff as you learn.
PS - not every song needs a "live sounding" drummer. Some tracks get by with just a bass and snare. listen to Old ozzy like bark at the moon... that live drummer isnt exactly eating an apple and sh!tting a fruit salad throughout most of the track... the emphasis is on Rhandy Rhoads playing guitar and ozzy singing. I feel like they could have just used an electronic drummer, and no one would have noticed until they went on tour, LMAO.
Myself, I have the biggest problem with ride cymbals and hi hats. My software isnt up to snuff, and by the time you can HEAR the ride cymbal and hi hats, it sounds "fake". *shrugs* I often leave it just bass and snare, and no one notices it. (but I am not a paid professional, either)