Drone Thing

[rayc]

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K5MZYXWM
That's the lnk to a musical idea for a song I've been working on - LOTS of drone stuff sorry.
I haven't posted anything in quite some time as I'm having upload problems - this one took 3 hours to get into the air & I can't get anything on soundclick etc so this is a download - SORRY.
the lyric for this is:
The Master’s Gone Away.
V1
The sheets were grey,
Where the body had lain,
And the room was filled with shadow.
The morning had come,
With the birth of the sun,
But the mind of the master lay fallow.

Ch 1
The evening had died,
But no mourner had cried,
At the coming of past day’s tomorrow.
Of the remnants remained,
On the sheet but a stain,
And the impression of leaving was shallow.

V2
But the master had gone,
Departed he with the Dawn,
And no-one cried save the sparrow.
For ne’er had it flown,
From its high leafy thrown,
Lest Death come on the wings of an arrow.

Ch 2
And the master, ‘twas said,
Of sparrow had fed,
Taking ill of its fears and its sorrow.
But from his death bed,
With wings he had fled,
And Death rode in the soul that was hollow.

RPT V1

Solo

And the bird took a place,
In past time and space,
Retribution for that which was borrowed…
cochrane

Any thoughts/comments/direction?
Cheers
ray

 

[ido1957]

Once again you impress me with lyrics that are way above the norm. These ones harken me back to days of castles and kings, maidens and knights. Still the sparrow lives to this day witnessing life as it passes. Perfect!
The music is nice and full, but I'd trim a bit off the 2K area on the mix it's a bit high for me. The droning is good - don''t change it. There's a nice balance overall so the vocals should slip in nice and easy.
I'm looking forward to the addition of the vocal melody by Terry - will be another Pygmy Beat classic!

 

[rayc]

Hello Gerry,
Thanks for the detail - I'll address the EQ issue as well as finding a way to avoid it being built upon as I add more to the track.
It's currently with Faderbug for some treated guitar additions (he's good at the psych/space rock thing). I HOPE Terry will add melody & vocals but he's not managed to do any of late & I know he's not too keen on my spacier excursions as he'd like to get back to our folk rock feel again - I would too BUT the tunes haven't leant themselves to that for a little while.
I'm not sure Terry'll be keen on the lyric either - but it can stand for the present as I have nothing much else that'd fit.

 

[gecko zzed]

The lyrics are great and scan beautifully. As Ido notes, it has the flavour of an old Celtic tune, and I imagine a moody, droney treatment would work well (I'm thinking Loreena McKennit and 'The Lady of Shallot'). You've captured the style of a medieval ballad very well, but, refreshingly, you've managed lyrics that take you back (as Ido says) to "days of castles and kings, maidens and knights" without slipping into the cliches of those ballads.

I haven't had a listen yet . . . I too seem to have difficulties with uploads and downloads . . . everything takes way too long!

 

[Chili]

I'm more accustomed to choruses remaining the same throughout a song to glue the story together. However, this might be a form I'm not familiar with. I also see that the rhyming scheme doesn't change from verse to chorus and I think a change would help highlight the impact of the chorus.

I see this tale describing a relationship between a master and a sparrow. I think you can delve into that side of the story more and explain why no one cared that he died. You set us up with so many questions.... I WANT ANSWERS DAMMIT!!! he he hehe

 

[rayc]

gecko zzed,
Thanks for the very kind words regarding the lyric. I have a drypoint etching I did at roughly the same time that illustrates the lyric to some degree; a REALLY bad scan is attached (despite being a decent size it heavily pixilated when converted to jpeg). Bummer about your internet connection - mine is a long unresolved telstra problem.
Chili,
Ah, sweet mysteries of life. I'm afraid I have to admit that I wrote the lyric as a brain dribble in one sitting from beginning to end. I've toyed with augmenting it - even grafting in a distinct "chorus" from otehr pieces but none have hung together as a unified whole in the way the original does.
I'll hope for musical changes to hint at the structure I think.