does this tune make you smile?

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B.SABBATH

B.SABBATH

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hi

heres a tune that has a nylon string and electric guitar, and some keyboards.. it is somewhat dramatic and silly...

There is a guitar solo that took 100 takes just to sound this bad..:D

Please rip it to shreds with unforgiving scrutiny...

I appreciate your time if you bothered..

Please shred any part of this tragic mistake that I have the nerve to post in this clinic...especially the vocals please..




hold me/ dead man walking
www.nowhereradio.com/samij/singles :D :D...

Any tips are always appreciated..
 
Great changes throughout. This song has a lot of good things happening for it. I like the way the tempo and arrangement changes from the beggining to the middle, and then again at the end.

Good guitar sound. I liked the use of keyboards in this song as well. I wanted the vocals to be a bit louder, but the style in which they were sung fit the song.

I like the dramaticness of it. I didn't catch the sarcasm in the song because the words were a bit hard to make out.

Overall, good stuff with great changes!!!
 
I am hearing some noise in there

THe vocals sound unnatural, in a bad space, and too low in the mix.

The kick is low in the mix

The bass is too loud relative to the kick

THe track seems like it could be louder
 
you clean your tunes up nicely...

you don't have a godin, do you.??..sure sounds like one, direct in.

almost has that "rush" feel to it, with the strings..
 
Mr. Sabbath sir,....... it's a good song. What kind of grand sample is that at the beginning? Sounds real, at least as far as I could tell over a Mp3. I liked the time changes a lot. Also what kind of drums are you using? Is that a real drummer?

I agree with boydrj, the vocals are too far back in the mix. You've got the "I'm insecure about my vocals so I'll mix them so soft you can't hear the damn thing" syndrome. No need 'cause from what I could hear, they're fine. I know it's the syndrome because everything else on the song is mixed so well. Very good balances throughout. The only thing you mix like that is the vocals so I'd like to hear it again with the singing up where I can hear it. Other than that, cool song! :)
 
boydrj - thanks for the listen dude, I'll be checkin out your tunes shortly..



CyanJaguar - you hated it:D thanks for comments, I'm still struggling, and I won't blame the gear.... my ears are frying fast...



mixmkr- dude??? I guess your tired of saying to turn the vocals up etc...:D I'm an idiot... I'll assume you thought it was average at best.... rhythm guitar for the heavy part was J-Station into a Blue Max compressor, then a bit of BBE Sonic Maximizer....no e.q. on anything... cool Rush comment.:cool: I hold them at #1, right along with the Sabb's..:D If you could, let me know what you think of the vocals...resing???



Lt.Bob - Appreciate the comments. The beginning piano was an Alesis QS6.1. For the drums I played drumpads hooked up to a Roland TD-8. Thanks for the vocal comments.. I'm thinking this is the only way I can get away with singing....just keep it low enough were it blends...BTW the voices were a Roland JV 10-10..

This tune took me about 900 takes to get all because I don't edit or record with a computer... I just keep punching....and punching....and punching... you would never know how long this thing took... I just kept looping the music and trying to get a good drum track... It shows how poor of a musician I really am. It should not have taken this long..


thanks dudes:cool:

It is embaressing when you have to edit.... I forgot to say 'dudes' one more time..:D :cool:
 
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You know that some of the most famous music took many, many takes to get. For instance, when I got all the Beatles' Anthology LP's, one of the things that struck me was that a lot of the songs we know and love were like, take #127 and stuff like that. It surprised me but even those guys took take after take. Doesn't matter how many you need if the end result is something cool. You really don't have to self-critisize so much. You're better than you give yourself credit for and lord knows there's always people here that'll do the critical thing for you. :D


Also, I edit all the time. I always notice my misspellings after I've submitted it and I just can't let them go. You know it took me almost 300 takes to get this post down. That's how bad a typist I am. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
 
Good song...
I agree with all said above....especially concerning the vox...
Good changes and instrumentation on this piece....
I liked it...
Take it easy,
Joe
 
Lt. Bob - I really appreciate the words... I think if I made the vocals louder, It might become obvious that I have a voice that not even a mother loves..:D I really like the Beatles too, so that was nice to know...there is one problem though...there vocals were great in the end.... I am excuseless at the moment..thanks again



joro - thanks for the listen. I'm suprised the flames about the vocals have not arrived yet... I'm hearing they should come up, but I wonder if that's a good idea.... thanks for dropping a comment..
 
That's a J Station on the rhythm guitar? What setting did you use? That sounds very good.
 
Track Rat - thanks for bothering. For this tune, the J-Station setting for the 'heavy' rhythm guitar was just the 'rectifier' sound...... I just pinned the gain and turned of all the other effects.. I then ran it into a Blue Max compressor which has some great presets.. After that, it went into a BBE Sonic Maximizer.. I used no e.q. except at the source... i also doubled it with minor differences on the second track.... The guitar was a Hamer telecaster with a hot rail pickup...

thanks again for bothering... I was hoping to get some more vocal feedback, but any comments at all were appreciated..

Flame On!:D


later:cool:
 
You ran your guitar sound through a BBE? Hmm, very interesting. I have one. Maybe I should try it on guitar. I had always thought of it as something to use for final mixdown. Did you use it stereo or just use one channel?

As for your vocals, get 'em up where I can hear them and I'll flame 'em for ya'. :D
 
Well, I hate to let you down....

...but I can't really flame your vocals 'cause they don't suck! :D
They really seem appropriate for the song. You know it's interesting 'cause I have a song there called The Days. I think you're one of the guys that listened to it and you might remember that everyone hated the vocal sound 'cause I had it sounding like I was singing in a bucket. But it was a calculated effect that I intended to sound that way. This vocal had that same artificial over-the-top processed sound and although you might get some complaints about it, I personally like sounds that are on the edge. So I don't have anything bad to say about the vocals. Interesting words, mostly on pitch and definately the right sort of atmosphere for this song. Enjoyed it. :)

Sorry, I'll try to be more vicious in the future.
 
hey Lt. Bob,

I appreciate you going back and taking another listen... I think your trying to be nice for some reason, but thanx for your ears. :D:cool:

About the BBE, I start off with a bypass comparison, (which is not 12 oclock as I thought,) and add just a bit instead of any e.q. It's probably not the best way, but it's one way. I don't always use it on guitar, but I always use it, (sometimes heavily) for bass.. this tune was synth bass though.....and I used it. thanks again man:cool:
 
Went to check out the new vocal mix -- and it's now gone?

Listened to the earlier version this morning, and can't help but feel you're *way* to hard on yourself. Esp. the part about multitracking.

In fact, I was undecided about purchasing the 788 until I listened to your track "cruise". It was one of the first things I found where the 788 sound pretty good for keys.

keep 'em coming!

-bruce
 
On bass hmmm, I have a J-station I use for bass; I'm gonna try that.

I'm really not trying to be nice. Believe me, if something sucks I'll tell you. I'm not, by nature, mean-spirited about it but I'll definately say what I think. Now I'm not saying you're Frank Sinatra, or Sting, or Bono or, (insert your favorite singer here) I'm just saying that the vocals you have on that piece work in that particular piece. To me, singing isn't always a matter of a beautiful voice or technical merit or whatever. A song, to me, is a totality of every facet combined to make a whole sonic tapestry (whew!). And so vocals only have to be appropriate for the sonic picture and those vocals do that.

The guitar ride, those are just a shitload of pulloff type licks joined together? Did you do that as a continuous piece, or did you play a bunch of seperate punch ins?
 
boose44 - thanks dude.. i just put the version back up.. I remixed it one more time..:D It's funny that you mentioned cruise because that was the very first song I recorded with my 788.....I didn't even know how to use it. The sound quality is probably better on that tune than even this one...:D thx



hold me/ dead man walkin'
www.nowhereradio.com/samij/singles
 
Lt. Bob said:
On bass hmmm, I have a J-station I use for bass; I'm gonna try that.
The guitar ride, those are just a shitload of pulloff type licks joined together? Did you do that as a continuous piece, or did you play a bunch of seperate punch ins?


Lt. Bob, thanks man. I don't always use the Jstation on bass because I have a Sansamp that has a nice sound when I send it through the Blue Max compressor. I payed $150 beans for that blue max and it's proabaly the most used thing I have. The presets are valuable to me because I have ruined things by getting to experimental with it. I mainly use the presets...

As far as the pulloffs, I think they might call them hammer ons, but I'm not sure because I know nothing of theory or technique. I was also stepping on a Boss PS-5 pitch shifter as I was doing that. It made it sound like I was doing something.. I set up the recorder to loop that one section, and after 40 attempts at a time, when i reached 100ish, I started punching. :D There were 3 punches total on the solo....

Drums were my first instrument and will always be what I'm usually most secure with... I worry about the vocals mostly......although I also choke on guitar.:D

thanks again for the ears:cool:
 
sabbath...you're one musically insecure sucker...and as much as I hate to critisize you, you're too friggen modest at times for your own good. I like the vocal up mix by far the best. I still even like your louzy ass song too!!
For some reason, as good as the synths and ac gtr sound in the beginning, there is this 'wimpish' feeling to the song...and I think I gotta blame it on the drums. Put a good 'cedar room' , kick ass short ambiance reverb on them, and make them sound more alive and real. Then when you get a little more racous in the song, back off on verb.
The part coming in around 4:00..that you finish the song with, is nice, but you (or at least I did) expect something to happen, but the toy box riff just repeats and fades out...and I went.."huh??" "what happened", I said to myself..."no more kick ass stuff?" I was disappointed...so I had to rewind and play again, 'till I got to your lead again!!

btw...you never finished with the negative comments on my song either, you turd!!:p
 
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