Does this arrangement work?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Phrasemaker
  • Start date Start date
Phrasemaker

Phrasemaker

New member
Hi, I joined a local band after which I really don't have time for. However I think we have something worth working with so I'm in for now. This track was two thirds written when the three of us bundled into my sitting room last weekend. While myself and another guitarist tinkered with some chords the vocalist wrote the closing verse, we then recorded it in the one improvised take, I then immediately added piano and Cello and mixed it. Does it need anything else, or does something need taking out? We'll do it again once we get some of our other material up and running so I'd like to get it planned before we next record. I know there are some good ears about the place so thought I'd ask for opinions.
Thanks for reading.

Regards

Tim

 
it seems to be a little monotone in texture and dynamic. it doesn't have a big build up and stays at the same sort of medium loud with breaks every so often. you could also experiment with taking away a lot of things most of the song and bringing them in for certain parts. maybe just have the piano and voice for a verse. don't have everything play for the first few times through the chorus. etc.

it may needs some changing up in the rhythm department too. the sections don't really have something to separate or lead into the next section. a drummer typically does a lot for this with fills and without one, you'll have to do it in the instrumentation. tempo could also be a little faster to get it to sound a little more rhythmic.

you could also snip sections that don't add to the song. if a part is repeated with the same dynamic, words, texture, etc it doesn't serve much of a purpose especially in a slow ballad.

this song could definitely use some harmonies of some sort for the chorus. either with the main melody, or a completely different part that's contrapuntal. i would refrain from using oo's or ah's that sustain and then change for the chord changes.
 
I'll throw in my amateur opinion for what it is worth. First, I like the song, it is very pretty. I think a sparse arrangement like this can really work sometimes but I agree with the above poster about how the different sections of the song should have a different overall dynamic. Elements like vocal harmonies and the cello coming in and out on different parts would draw my attention to different elements of the song at different times, adding interest. Maybe the second time the cello comes in it could be in harmony with another string instrument. Nice song though, I really like it so far.
 
Thanks Guys, you've given me a lot of food for thought in respect of making the track more interesting. The only criteria I have to keep in mind is being able to perform the song live and have it be delivered sounding close to whichever recording we decide to use on line. Vocal harmonies, yes we can try that, a greater delivery of the rhythmic aspects is also no a problem. Personally I have in mind to do a dedicated studio version with a more deliberated focus on making the piece interesting to the listener, as well as a stripped back version which can be performed by a three of four piece band on any given day. The Cello part can also be tinkered with notation wise as there is reasonable scope there for employing a more harmony based approach. In absolute honesty this recording was the first time we've played the track as a whole piece start to finish so I think in that light we have plenty of areas where we can try something different. I'll consult with the rest of the band when we meet up for a practice tomorrow. We have a decent stock of material already written which we've got the basics figured for to work on but it would be could to get this one into the best shape it can be, before worrying too much about the ornaments we want on other tracks.

Many thanks, really useful input.

Regards

Tim
 
I would cut 2:08 to 2:50 as the part after picks up the interlude real nice. I think her voice works works great with the tune, a few more runs would probably give her a lot more confidence with the tune. She has the voice, has the chops, probably just needs more time with the song.

Now, this has nothing to do with the mix, but if you could put in a change (maybe a counter to support the song like, you broke my heart and left me standing stranded type of thing) I think would really punch the impact of the song.

Really good song, adding a little support for it would not hurt the tune. Great stuff.
 
DM60 said:
I would cut 2:08 to 2:50 as the part after picks up the interlude real nice. I think her voice works works great with the tune, a few more runs would probably give her a lot more confidence with the tune. She has the voice, has the chops, probably just needs more time with the song.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this seems like a good area to make a cut. I listened a few days back, but didn't get round to commenting at the time. It's a strong melody, because I remembered how it went when I ducked back in today, but I think it's too long for a slow, one paced number.

Agree with the general consensus that some harmonies would be a welcome addition.

Other than that, I think the arrangement works. I wonder whether you could get a fuller tone on the guitar lead when you come to re-tracking though? Sounds a little on the thin side.
 
The instruments have more high-midrange than the vocal. It places the vocal behind the instruments. I wonder if you could get a vocal retrack to fix that.

Other than that, I thought it sounded good.
 
I would take out the cello, it's interfering and the fast vibrato doesn't help things. Instead, this song desperately needs something high, add some violin pads two octaves up. Everything it at the same octave, nothing can breathe.
 
The lines the cello plays are good and could be developed to give you the section changes.
I'm not inclined towards violins as this reminds me of NICO a bit.
Maybe have one of the guitars play higher in parts to open up the range?
The melody is partially borrowed from somewhere, (but aren't they all).
I'd pull out the piano in places to create some more dynamic change.
The soloing guitars are louder than the vocal.
Is good. I look forward to developments.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top