DjIce - My Life

  • Thread starter Thread starter DjIce
  • Start date Start date
D

DjIce

New member
This is my first song that I feel I could actually record over the instrumental "2-Pac - Can't C Me" unless I produce one that works for it, but...I want your opinions, on this song to tell me if it is worth it, or if it should be tossed in the garbage with the rest of them...:D Comments Please :)

My Life

ya'll know what I was when I was growin' up
I wasn't much to ya, ya just told me to keep my mouth shut
talkin' too much shit & didn't know how to back it
so I got in my first fight & I wasn't the one that got hit
he took me to the ground way more than once
but lemme ask you this who was eatin' their teeth for lunch
I socked 2 out then it went to 3
first I thought it was hard, but then I seen it was easy
he went home cryin with his bros arm around him
I went home with my bro's a smilin
laughin at how bad i beat his ass
as I'm worried about the stains I got from the grass
scared to tell dad & mom about what had happened
so we walked in & we all stopped laughin'
told them what was up & they got a lil mad
but that turned around once I got a little sad
said I was sorry I didn't know what I was doin
but I knew he was mad cus my pants were ruined
stains all over from the petty little fight
I was five years old, yea thats right
taken 'em out from kindergarten up
I told the kid who I beat his ass thats whats up
don't fuck with me no matter what your size
I'll fuck you up wether its wrong or right
wether I have a reason to do or a reason to don't
imma fuck you up cus the others won't
movin on in this life of mine
it involved some little kid crime
we started fires all over the place
we'd start shit no matter what ya race
no matta how big ya were no matta how small
we'd run our mouths to the short & the tall
we were the block bullies no matta whatcha say
I don't know how I remember this shit today
to tell ya'll about me & who I am
& who I was to begin with because I can
from ages 5 to 10 & 10 to now
I remember everything like I wrote it down
like I wrote it in my mind & I was spose to tell you
but thats just a little bit of what I do
I keep things locked up inside my mind
later to tell these stories as if I were blind
but this is my life story there isn't much to it
this is just the beginning there'll be more to this


There she be, No Chorus, just rappin' straight through...I might add a lil more to it, because it's not quite long enough, but I'm not sure yet...but I will take the comments to heart, Thanks in advance.

DjIce
 
<------------------------------>journey to my final thought !!

technically - that is -- as a piece to read - im not feelin it!!! -

at first i was gonna post up wit a :mad: attitude n say a bunch of cruddy shit just to piss u off -
then i said - fuck it, its not worth my time so i clicked back to another forum.

then, i decide to come back and finish readin!!! :D

i got to the end - n felt like -- u know, if i heard this vocally, i might could fuck wit it!!! :rolleyes:

all in all, its ok -- ;) i think beanie seigel is holdin it down "enough" for the broadway bully types - but . . . i like the intent of the rhyme {but kickin ass at 5 years old? anyhow :cool:
 
Well...Thank you for your comments, I do have it vocally done, My very first song recorded vocally actually. If you want the link, Let me know & I'll post it up. Thanks again :D

:EDIT: - I'm white & I sound VERY white in the song. :)

:cool: DjIce :cool:
 
lol
i care not about the race - as long as the delivery is nice -- let me hear!!!
 
iight, I'll give you the link then,
- There it is, I recorded it once, only once, so if ti sounds bad, or I messed up on a part, that's why..

:cool: DjIce :cool:
 
dude - how old r u?

i ask because ur voice sounds very young . . . not that its bad its just not "convincing" it just sounds like your readin -- as opposed to sounding like u mean what u sayin, u feel what u sayin -- u need a "presence" an emotional conveyance in your voice -- i usually say "anger" but it doesnt have to be anger but it does have to be a strong emotional context to your voice

sounds like ur playin . . .
 
Ouch...I spose that isn't a good thing is it?...Hmm...Well that is very helpful I will try harder next time, I am 16 Years old, I have an EXTREMELY Deep voice when I want to, & I guess I just haven't found my voice for rap assuming?...I will try harder on my next record of it..& see if I can do what yer sayin'..put some meaning into it, & It sounds like I'm readin' because I was.. lol... but I do know what you mean, like I said, my first recording, my first ever song..so yea' gimme some cred. :P...But I will take your advice & when I get time to do it, I'll repost it, so keep an eye out, Thanks again for the comments, & The advice :)

:cool: DjIce :cool:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top