Dirty old man Stuck in the 80's??

[Schmange]

Just wanted to get some last opinions on this tune again. I uploaded it previously in early versions like instrumetals etc.... After numerous HD crashes I finally managed to add the extra tracks I wanted to add & was curious how the new mix sounds.

(so far I've gotten reviews on Garageband.com ranging from 'wow..great man!!, to 'this song makes me ill')

Are the vocals really bad? Annoying.
Do I really sound like a dirty old man stuck in the 80's who needs to rethink his music style??

 

[misterx]

I'm listening as I type, real time thoughts!

Good music, vocals may not match at first listen...
Slow paced...nothing drawing me in yet... hold on..guitar chords!
Cool..power chords...again good music..singing making me kind of tired though..
Weird middle part, telephone style voice...interesting but not drawing me in..
wow..octave higher singing now...a little better...
hmm..3:30 past...almost 4 more minutes???? not a good sign...
ok..over 4 minutes turning off...sorry...

I'm not listening to anything over 4 minutes unless it's Rush, sorry!

Well, this song has potential but you need to do the following in my humble opinion. (Remember I am still a newbie, so my listening skills still represent a somewhat average user..)

1) Shorten it down to 4 mintues or less.

2) It needs to really build more. The first 4 minutes that I listened to did not really build too much. The chorus really needs to build more.

3) The vocal style is reeaallyy laid back, almost to the point of bordom. No offense, you have a good voice there waiting to come out. Sing louder, I bet it would sound better. Or perhaps at the least have 3 levels, soft lower octave at start, middle build to the higher octave, and finally start cranking at some point!

4) You may want to experiment with faster tempos. That alone may shorten the song while allowing more energy to come through. As it stands right now, I didn't hear any "hook" to bring me back again and again.

Keep rocking though!!!