Matt303: Total agreement on the bass part. I still need to get a real bass as opposed to using a sixstring and bass sims on this unit. A real bassplayer could have fun with this I think. Glad you dug the vocal, and the wah guitar is a great idea. I wasn't real crazy about the lead sound either, would like to re-cut it using a real amp (my '67 BFDR).
Thank you sir!
Guernica: Glad you dig the song. My focus here was to have everything support the vocal, and to make it sound like you just walked into a sleazy bar to hear a an old dog wail. The vocal at present has no compression. I had to record it very quietly, was nearly whispering because it was 3:00 a.m. and I didn't want to scare the wife and kids.

I'll probably remix and add some comp to vocal, and try to tame the bright guitars.
Much thanks, bro.
Sam: Thanks for the listen, my man. I wanted to vary the drums a bit so it wouldn't sound so canned, but you're right about the crashes, maybe I can find a way to tame them or use a different pattern. The fade is abrupt, something I can fix in remix.
Glad you dig the tune, and thanks for the feedback.
Jeap: Thanks very much. The drums are from the onboard rhythm patches of the 1180, not bad for canned imo. If I were really playing drums, you'd definitely hear some problems, as I do well to keep a straight four.

The rhythm guitar was played through the onboard "tremelo twin" patch.
Glad you dig the vocal...you've compared me to a couple of my favorites, especially Capt. Beefheart.
As far as an album of this stuff, I'm workin' on it...thanks for the encouragement.
TripleM: I can always count on you for a thoughtful listen and informed criticism, much appreciated. Glad you like the song. Others have mentioned some of the same points, like the tinny guitar. I'm hoping to fix that with eq, or maybe even redo the part. I don't think you focus on too many negatives at all. I post stuff here so I can learn, and criticism like yours is crucial to improvement.
Thanks very much!
Kramer: Thanks for the listen and suggestion, bro. Eq'ing is a good suggestion, there's almost none on this thing. Glad you dig the tune. The fact that you guys dig the tune in spite of some mix/performance problems is very encouraging.
Fed: Thank you sir...glad you like the song. Funny you mention keys, as a friend might add a B-3 part to the mp3, which I think would really help it. Good ear, as usual.
Chris: Thanks very much, the lyric was my main focus with this song. Good to know that you liked it. I wrote this for my wife. Our 25th anniversary is in December, it was supposed to be a surprise, but she found the words and I had to come clean.
I feel good about the words because it's been so long since I've been able to write anything worthwhile (about ten years of writer's block)

I hear you loud and clear about the fine line between poetic and sappy...your compliment is very much appreciated.
Thanks very much to all of you!
Mark