Daydreaming on a rainy day...

  • Thread starter Thread starter queepy
  • Start date Start date
queepy

queepy

aka Variaxman
...on vacation at the family cottage up here in Northern Michigan....after watching endless parades of Pontoon boats loaded with partying senior citizens...thought it would be cool to do a epic Pontoon racing song with elements of "Titanic" and "Dead Mans Curve"...worked out some basic ideas on the acoustic, here is a rough draft of the lyrics:

PONTOON MADNESS

Hogback Lake was as a calm steel grey
When 14 blue hairs set sail that day
On a twin hulled boat named “The Old Sweet Pea”
Skippered by a gent named Pierre McGee

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
As the captain exclaimed "fat asses to aft!"
Then with a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life
Drowning out cries of “have you seen my wife?”
Chorus
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
It will make you crazy!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
Turns your blood to gravy!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
Never mind the rust!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
It’s full speed or bust!

A couple o’ fishermen in a rowboat
Rowing with all there might
Kept pace for awhile, but soon faded from sight
But now a kid in a canoe, ha! That’s a different story
He raced out ahead bound for the glory
chorus
(bridge/key change ^?)
With a glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Musical interlude I
Fedoras and Babushkas went flying into the wake
An old lady screamed
“Slow down for goodness sake!”
Musical interlude II
Suddenly Ol’ Harry mumbled “push me to the front Marigold
With his birdlike arms raised he cackled
“I’m the king of the world!!”
Musical interlude III
(back to original key/theme)
By now the engine was smoking and belching forth stench
Captain McGee sighed “I forgot me damned wrench!”
So with a look of pained sadness, and a heavy heart felt sigh
He eased back the throttle and let the canoe zip on by
chorus?
Wigs were now straightened and teeth put back in place
The one finger salutes were flying
As the canoe picked up the pace
Another pontoon boat put back in its place
And to this day Pontoons get no respect out on Hogback Lake
 
You've got a really interesting set of lyrics there.

They kind of set me thinking about theatre and musicals . . . like a kind of canoe-paddling Gilbert and Sullivan.

It will be interesting to hear what comes from this.
 
fun frame. You may want to cut out some of the superfluous words, like, but, then, and, as. It may move better with music that way, and it's amazing what our brains fill in, when the right words are emphasized. Just a thought.
Looking forward to the music bringing this one to life!
 
queepy said:
...on vacation at the family cottage up here in Northern Michigan....after watching endless parades of Pontoon boats loaded with partying senior citizens...thought it would be cool to do a epic Pontoon racing song with elements of "Titanic" and "Dead Mans Curve"...worked out some basic ideas on the acoustic, here is a rough draft of the lyrics:

PONTOON MADNESS

Hogback Lake was as a calm steel grey
When 14 blue hairs set sail that day
On a twin hulled boat named “The Old Sweet Pea”
Skippered by a gent named Pierre McGee

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
As the captain exclaimed "fat asses to aft!"
Then with a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life
Drowning out cries of “have you seen my wife?”
Chorus
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
It will make you crazy!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
Turns your blood to gravy!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
Never mind the rust!
Pa pa pa pontoon madness
It’s full speed or bust!

A couple o’ fishermen in a rowboat
Rowing with all there might
Kept pace for awhile, but soon faded from sight
But now a kid in a canoe, ha! That’s a different story
He raced out ahead bound for the glory
chorus
(bridge/key change ^?)
With a glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Musical interlude I
Fedoras and Babushkas went flying into the wake
An old lady screamed
“Slow down for goodness sake!”
Musical interlude II
Suddenly Ol’ Harry mumbled “push me to the front Marigold
With his birdlike arms raised he cackled
“I’m the king of the world!!”
Musical interlude III
(back to original key/theme)
By now the engine was smoking and belching forth stench
Captain McGee sighed “I forgot me damned wrench!”
So with a look of pained sadness, and a heavy heart felt sigh
He eased back the throttle and let the canoe zip on by
chorus?
Wigs were now straightened and teeth put back in place
The one finger salutes were flying
As the canoe picked up the pace
Another pontoon boat put back in its place
And to this day Pontoons get no respect out on Hogback Lake
Click to expand...

can't wait to hear it with music
 
lifelyrics said:
fun frame. You may want to cut out some of the superfluous words, like, but, then, and, as. It may move better with music that way, and it's amazing what our brains fill in, when the right words are emphasized. Just a thought.
Looking forward to the music bringing this one to life!
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice...I'm trying to get better at getting the goofy ideas I have in my head down on paper....have tracked the basic music to this one yesterday, and revamped the lyrics to fit the song structure hopefully a little better...here is what I have now:


PONTOON MADNESS
Hogback Lake was a calm steel grey
When 14 blue hairs set sail that day
On a twin hulled boat named the Olde Sea Hag

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
As the captain shouted "fat asses to aft!"
Then with a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life

A couple o’ fishermen Rowing with all there might
Kept pace for awhile, but soon faded from sight
Then a Kid in a canoe, took the bait, and raced out ahead

With a glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Smoke em’ if ya gots em, I aint loisin’ to this puke!

I. THE RACE IS ON!
Fedoras and Babushkas went flying into the wake
an old lady screamed “Slow down for goodness sake!”
I just got my hair done, Harold get me off of this tub!
Musical interlude I
II. HARRY’S DEMISE
Suddenly Ol’ Harry mumbled “push me to the front Marigold
With his birdlike arms raised he cackled “I’m the king of the world!!”
And with a final gasp he jumped over the edge and was gone
Musical interlude II
III.CAPTAINS LAMENT
By now the engine was smoking and belching forth stench
The Captain sighed “I forgot me damned wrench!”
So with a look of pained sadness, and a heavy heart felt sigh
He eased back the throttle and let the canoe zip on by
Musical interlude III

Wigs were now straightened and teeth put back in place
After a one finger salute the canoe picked up the pace
As The Old Sea Hag was left to flounder in its wake

Another pontoon put back in its place
And to this day Pontoons get no respect on Hogback lake
As 13 blue hairs, will surely attest…..
 
lifelyrics suggested removing some suerfluous words (specially 'and', 'when' and so on). The suggestion is still well worth considering still, because it would have the effect of sharpening up the whole thing and not dilute its energy.

It's tricky without knowing the musical intentions, but I'd be inclined to consider something such as:

Hogback Lake was a calm steel grey
Fourteen blue hairs set sail that day
On a twin hulled boat named the Olde Sea Hag

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
The captain shouted "fat asses to aft!"
With a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life

A couple o’ fishermen rowing with all their might
Kept pace for awhile, but faded from sight
A Kid in a canoe, took the bait, raced out ahead

With glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Smoke em’ if ya gots em, I aint loisin’ to this puke!

and so on.
 
gecko zzed said:
lifelyrics suggested removing some suerfluous words (specially 'and', 'when' and so on). The suggestion is still well worth considering still, because it would have the effect of sharpening up the whole thing and not dilute its energy.

It's tricky without knowing the musical intentions, but I'd be inclined to consider something such as:

Hogback Lake was a calm steel grey
Fourteen blue hairs set sail that day
On a twin hulled boat named the Olde Sea Hag

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
The captain shouted "fat asses to aft!"
With a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life

A couple o’ fishermen rowing with all their might
Kept pace for awhile, but faded from sight
A Kid in a canoe, took the bait, raced out ahead

With glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Smoke em’ if ya gots em, I aint loisin’ to this puke!

and so on.
Click to expand...


Yes, I see what you mean...I find it really hard not to be so "wordy" ...
I am going back to trimming some more before I track vocals....
 
Tried to trim this down a bit more ...tried my 1st attempt at tracking vocals...my vocal cadence/delivery is a little unsure...posted the song over in the mp3 clinic if you would like to check it:
https://homerecording.com/bbs/showthread.php?p=3206102#post3206102
And here is the new lyrics:
PONTOON MADNESS
Dixon Lake was a calm steel grey
As 14 blue hairs set sail that day
on a twin hulled boat named the “Old Sea Hag”

Wheezing and puffing they boarded the craft
The captain shouted "fat asses to aft!"
With a sputter and cough, the engine roared to life

A couple of fishermen rowed frantically
Kept pace for awhile, then faded slowly
A kid in a canoe took the bait, and raced out ahead

A glint in his eye, the captain shouted to his guest
“We gots us a live one, put on dem dere vest!”
Smoke em’ if ya gots em, I aint loisin’ to this punk!

I. THE RACE IS ON!
Fedoras and Babushkas flew into the wake
an old lady screamed “Slow down for goodness sake!”
I just got my hair done, Harold get me off of this tub!
Musical interlude I
II. HARRY’S DEMISE
Ol’ Harold cackled “to the bow Marigold!”
With his arms raised he screamed “I’m the king of the world!!”
Then with a final gasp he jumped over the edge and was gone
Musical interlude II
III.CAPTAINS LAMENT
Now the engine was smoking and belching forth stench
The Captain sighed “I forgot me damned wrench!”
With a look of pained sadness, and a heart felt sigh
He eased back the throttle and let the canoe zip on by
Musical interlude III

Wigs were now straightened and teeth put back in place
with a one finger salute the canoe picked up the pace
and the Old Sea Hag was left to flounder in its wake

Another pontoon put back in its place
And to this day Pontoons get no respect on Dixon lake
As 13 blue hairs, will surely attest…..
 
Last edited:
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