Critique?

  • Thread starter Thread starter jeffmaher
  • Start date Start date
The song is catchy. I like the added harmonies, but would maybe pull back a little of the effect used on the vocals. The rhythm is groovin, but I had trouble catching all of the little guitar and keyboard parts going on it the song. Maybe bring them up or seperate them out more....I dunno. I'm still learning myself.

I did catch my toes tapping along though. :)
 
jeffmaher said:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=825703

"I Don't Want To"

Built with a Shure KSM27 and a SM57; Mackie VLZ Pro Board; Sonar 3.3; Ozone mastering software; a Kurzweil K2000 antique synth with rotten drum samples....for which I apologize in advance; a little Marshall practice amp, a cheep Ibanez guitar and a cheep Peavy bass. The acoustic is worth more than $150, though.
Click to expand...

Nice. I love it, really. You have a really great voice. This song is nicely written, and the arrangement of instrument parts is excellent. You know what to play, and when to play it. You've taken a bit of gear and made the most out of it. I love that! It just goes to show you that it doesn't take a multi-million dollar studio to produce something that is extremely enjoyable to listen to.
Having said all of that, I think your recording is really really good. But, as you mentioned, your drum sounds aren't the best. They were better that I expected, after reading your post though!

Here's my suggestions....forgive me if these are unsolicited.... :) I assume that you are using the midi sequencing capabilities in Sonar to trigger your drums? If you are not, that's where I would start. If you've arranged them on the Kurzweil, you can just play the synth's sequence and record it into Sonar. Once there, figure out how to split the notes to tracks. Back in the day when I used Cakewalk, it had a CAL program that would do this automatically. So what you end up with is a midi track for each drum sound. Now, solo each drum midi track, play it, and record it back into Sonar as audio. Now after all this, you end up with each drum on it's own separate audio track. Now, you can compress, eq, and mix it like it was a real kit. I think this could add a lot to the sound.

Other than this, the only other thing I would suggest is possibly mixing the vocal harmonies a little lower, and under the lead vocal. You have a great voice, and sing great harmony! But I think the lead should come out a bit more, especially toward the end when all of the extra parts come in.

Then, take this thing and sell it and become the next American Idol!!

Peace!

~Shawn
 
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Thanks, Shawn...

I took your suggestions and redid it.

http://download.yousendit.com/ED4A7C3C1AE299ED

The harmvox are a few db lower; and I added phat verb to the crash to make the un-naturally clipped decay a little less severe. And I added some belly and verb to the kick and snare.

I built the drum tracks one at a time.....I have an electronic kit...also with rotten samples.....but I don't have either the knowledge or interface that makes simutaneous seperate MIDI tracks possible. I'm saving all the MIDI for some future time when I can get good samples...and conquer that assignment thing. Everything else in the tune is organic.

This master has even milder compression....the mix is very un-messed with. And I've lost all objectivity after marathoning it. If you gave a listen to see if I got what you were talking about, that'd be swell! I don't know if it's an improvement. It still sounds crappy next to my "Thriller" album benchmark.
 
jeffmaher said:
Thanks, Shawn...

I took your suggestions and redid it.

http://download.yousendit.com/ED4A7C3C1AE299ED

The harmvox are a few db lower; and I added phat verb to the crash to make the un-naturally clipped decay a little less severe. And I added some belly and verb to the kick and snare.

I built the drum tracks one at a time.....I have an electronic kit...also with rotten samples.....but I don't have either the knowledge or interface that makes simutaneous seperate MIDI tracks possible. I'm saving all the MIDI for some future time when I can get good samples...and conquer that assignment thing. Everything else in the tune is organic.

This master has even milder compression....the mix is very un-messed with. And I've lost all objectivity after marathoning it. If you gave a listen to see if I got what you were talking about, that'd be swell! I don't know if it's an improvement. It still sounds crappy next to my "Thriller" album benchmark.
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Jeff,

This sounds better. The vocals especially. I might even pull the ones down some more at the end, that do the refrain underneath, when the song is jamming. I love the way you're playing the bass right there, by the way. I'm not sure about the overall sound... it's hard to tell how your mastering compression has changed, because the first version is "soundclick-ized," which to me tends to do horrible stuff to audio.

By the way... I'd be willing to add some drum samples and mix the song if you would send me your audio exported as wav files, and a midi file of the drums. Just a thought!

Good work!

~Shawn
 
I like the song, Jeff. Not sure if I heard the revised version or not, but it's good. I used the link at the top. When I update a song in soundclick, the link stays the same. I assume that's what you do too.

Anyway, good song and recording. Mine aren't nearly that good.
 
Thanks for the offer, Shawn; but I already sent the platform into storage, and I'm on the the next one. There's no destination for the work...I'm giving it away...and at some point I'll have a better sampling thing...and I'll use it as a learning project. The Fedguv just scooped my fun-money.....but I think I'll be able to get a used Roland XV 50/80 before the end of next year. The guy I took a couple lessons from a few months ago still uses his for drums...even though he has a Cray-like computer loaded with the best and fattest samples..which he uses for orchestra assemblies. And he could upgrade the MIDI for me if I needed it done, I reckon.

What I will do at some point is send a richer mp3 to SC...there's a lot of compression flutter detectable in the vocal. 10MB should make it a lot better....I'm still on diaup...thus the mondo-squish to send it on-line.

OTOH...maybe someone will hear it and want to use it in a commercial for Prozac.....and they'll have to call me to provide a better file? 10MB might be too good. :^)

This is the first thing I've recorded in a year of effort that sounds half-way decent. It's at least as good a quality as some records from 1960!
 
jeffmaher said:
.

OTOH...maybe someone will hear it and want to use it in a commercial for Prozac.....and they'll have to call me to provide a better file? 10MB might be too good. :^)

This is the first thing I've recorded in a year of effort that sounds half-way decent. It's at least as good a quality as some records from 1960!
Click to expand...

I think you've done a great job of it, indeed, Jeff!
 
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