seismetr0n said:
i'd really appreciate it if a couple ppl could take a look at my lil presskit (online) and let me know how far off/on target i am.
http://schweinhunden.net/press.htm
pre-thanks
I would remove the "Online Press Kit" at the top. I'm assuming anyone looking at this clicked a link explaining it was a press kit. At the very least I'd remove "Online," anyone looking realizes its a web-page.
I would remove the "etc" and make a few other subtle changes, here's an idea:
Schweinhunden is a 4-piece Hardcore/Thrash band from Athens, Ohio. Schweinhunden formed in late 2003 and are now performing in support of their debut CD
HumanExtinction, a blistering 12 tracks in 20 minutes. Whether performing frequently at The Union in Athens, or opening for such national touring acts Darkest Hour, The Toasters, The Fuze, or The Classic Struggle, Schweinhunden put on a live show that is always a high energy face melting experience. Influenced by such (genre name here) greats as GBH, Slayer, Discharge, and Suicidal Tendencies, Schweinhunden keeps things fast and loud. Armed with riveting originals and covers including S.O.D, The Minutemen, Dead Kennedys, and Naked Raygun, Schweinhunden is now spreading their influence in a take-over attempt of North America.
At least, that's how I'd write it.
Instead of "Current Image for AD's, articles, and such:" I would write "HumanExtinction Publicity Image" or similar.
Finally, the text along the bottom is very chunky, and its probably best to put contact info at the top, including a contact person, mailing address, phone and email. So I guess what I'm saying is: add an address.
Please note that this are only my ideas and opinions and should be regarded as such. Good luck with all your promo.