Listening as I write...
She has a little pitch problems in the intro, but pulls it together as the song goes on. One trick might be to do a take where the she sings the first after the 2nd verse, when she's fully immersed in the song and can deliver a good performance. Then you just edit it around so the first verse is in the beginning of the song.
Everything seems centered. I hear the drums spread out, but most everything else is on top of each other. This adds to the mud. Give everything its own space; especially the BVG's. Use EQ and pan to move instruments out to the sides or out of the same freq spectrum.
I think there are some timing issues here and there.
I can hear how the song wants to be big during the choruses, but it just isn't coming across that way. I think your arrangement is good, just not quite sure why I'm not getting the full impact. I listened a few times and can't offer up suggestions. Maybe when you open up the stereo field, it'll help to give the chorus more impact.
Good song, though. I see it has a lot of potential. Thanks for sharing.