Check it out.

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IceFairy

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After about a year, I finally decided to put something new up. I posted a song at garageband.com/naomisimpson.. so check it out! It's called "Dance of the Wit". For those who don't know who the heck IceFairy is (most likely, that would be all of you, hehe).. she's a 16-year-old songwriter/guitarist/vocalist. Anyhow, this was recorded about ten months ago and any feedback would be appreciated :).

For those who prefer to simply stare at the screen and critique the lyrics, here they are:

V1:
It's a dance of the wit
I take it yet, sitting calmly
You're a black light that fits
Bear in mind that I'm not yet as light as you saw me

Ch:
I lean my head on your door
I hope that you'll be the one to see more in me
Feels like I've seen you before
Don't ever be he who walks blindly on
..Say you'll defend me
..From all this pretending
..And I'll be your once-in-a-dream

V2:
Surrender your soul
I'll give the time of life, knowing what you know
But if you think you might go
Be the first man in my life to tell me so

Ch:
I lean my head on your door
I hope that you'll be the one to see more in me
Feels like I've seen you before
Don't ever be he who walks blindly on
..Say you'll defend me
..From all this pretending
..And I'll be your once-in-a-dream

..Say we'll cross over
..From this land of pushovers
I've fallen into your river of hope

It's a dance of the wit
I take it yet sitting calmly
Say you'll defend me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Looks pretty generic/cheesy.. but under my hypnotic/badly messy 10-months-ago guitar rhythm and vocals, I have my right to "poetry" ;)

-Naomi

P.S. It's been suggested that a cello be added in for a little extra *something*. I agree wholeheartedly, but I don't happen to have a cellist around that I can nab just yet.
 
IceFairy,
Neither generic nor cheesy came to mind on reading your song.
Nor did sixteen years old. I like it a lot and went to listen but alas could not figure out what I should be playing it thru... Nice Work.
-b
 
terocious,
Thank you much :). I have my first real gig coming up in 2 weeks.. I'm going to play this one for sure. By the way, I believe RealPlayer is used for all garageband music. Thanks again for taking time for a little input!

-Naomi
 
Ice Fairy

Don't worry about indulging yourself here!
The words are good, maybe could have more than one meaning, which I was just mentioning is cool to me. I'm not saying that's what you intended, but to me, I went a couple different places.
The influences you mentioned were right in line with what the song feels like. Jewel and Alannis. That's cool w/ me, I like 'em both, and I like the Ice Fairy.
Good Job.
 
Hi again Naomi,
I downloaded the mp3. The la la da's not written were fun. I am a sucker for that kind of thing. Cello would indeed be nice and would emphasize the classical feel of your interesting word choices.
Dance of the wit, I take it yet, Don't ever be he and once-in-a-dream all evoke for me another place or time which may or may not exsist outside of the mind. Kate Bush, Van Morrison, Jethro tull and even Styx hang out a lot in this mystic place. (emphasis on mist) With a name like Ice Fairy I can only imagine that you are aware of the kind of dream you are spinning which is but more evidence of your artistic maturity. Nice voice. Break a leg.
(How is that for a generic and cheesy?)

-b
 
I apologize for the delay, I thank you, and I will write more when my anger is exhausted.

-Naomi
P.S. Lovely garageband deleted my whole reply.
 
okobd-
Thank you much for the input. Hmm, Jewel.. I seem to be getting that a lot. I'll take it as a compliment, hehe.. As far as lyrical interpretation goes.. there are only two possible answers for that:
A. "I leave it to the interpretation of my listeners etc."
B. <Insert lengthy history behind song>

Normally, I'd choose B, but only my friends are kind enough to pretend they want to hear, so I'll just have to thank you for caring enough to give me a little feedback. Thanks :)

terocious-
Your message comes at a perfect time--I'm having a little "pre-gig stress" right now.
Some would argue that the veil obscuring the lyrical content of a song make it impossible to relate--I usually only find that this is true when I suspect that there's no actual point to the song--so I'm glad that you consider the weirdness in my presentation a plus *laughs*. Thank you much.

-Naomi
P.S. Incidentally, would anyone happen to have a cellist stashed somewhere in a hidden closet or such? I'm sure we could come to some agreement ;).
 
Sorry gave my cellist to goodwill to free up space for a Harmonium.
 
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