Catalog Descriptions of Mic's... BS Meter

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XLR

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You’ve read all the catalog mic descriptions just like me… the “warm” thing is probably the most common bit of BS but there are lots of others.

Some descriptions are nonsense phrases where the words just sound kind of good strung together. Some descriptions are totally wrong. What are the worst ones you’ve read? Not necessarily the worst mic's, but the most misleading or nonsensical descriptions. Believe me, I sympathize with the poor schmucks who have to write the copy for the ads. They have to follow their company’s promotional style…

You can’t say, “We’ve got a warehouse full of ___________[model X] that we’ve got to move!! It’s a brittle sounding mic with a floppy low end but we make a good margin on them so buy Buy BUY!!!”

And you can’t say, “________ [model Y] sounds great on some voices and bad on others.”

And you can’t say, “________ [model Z] will capture a beautiful tone from your acoustic guitar… if it IS actually beautiful. If your sound is thin and scratchy and your room is boomy it’ll capture THAT instead.”

Are there any online sellers who have non-hype mic descriptions? Where each blurb sounds like a Scott Dorsey review instead of like it was written by a used car salesman?

What are the worst ads you’ve read?

Tim
 
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I think most of the ads

just repeat the copy from the mic manufacturer's promotional literature.

They're not actually going to pay someone to write copy when they've got it already written for them.
 
Yep I'm aware of that. Whether or not you see the copy at the manufacturer's site or the retailer's, or whether the retailer edits out or adds to it, it doesn't change my question.

OK, I'll take out the mention of "retailers" I had in one spot and replace it with "sellers".

Tim
 
Microtech Gefell, Schoeps, DPA and Neumann all do pretty good ad copy. Info on their respective websites is fairly devoid of "puffing". More scientific in nature. And, of course, they don't need to overstate, exagerate or make false claims. Their mics are among the finest on the planet.

The Studio Projects website has the following quote:

Our mics are every bit as good or better at a fraction of the cost you would pay for a world class German microphone.

They go on to talk about $3,000 German mics. Now, that's total BS.

ADK is interesting. They don't really exagerate or make phoney claims, but their website ad copy is still puffed somewhat. But it seems they are doing it more from a "choice" perspective, i.e., choose ADK mics, you'll really like them because we think they are great.
 
My copy is awful. Really, I should pay somebody to write something legible. Hmmm, my wife has a marketing degree . . . :o
 
mshilarious said:
My copy is awful. Really, I should pay somebody to write something legible. Hmmm, my wife has a marketing degree . . . :o
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hey, off topic, but I was wondering: Are you me, but from the future??? :confused:
 
Speaking from experience I can tell you, when you have thousands of items on a website you tend to use what they give you. I see the same thing everywhere pretty much!

If I have extensive use with a piece I will add a little "What We Think" type of writeup around a paragraph long at the end. A lot of the hotter stuff that I spend time with has me putting things into perspective as best I can.

Most "catalogs" though have a lot of stuff written by the retailer who puts them out. I read a post on Gearslutz recently where some guys girlfriend or wife picked up a Sweetwater catalog and commented on how everything was described as "warm" and wanted to know what it meant. They counted it up and way over half of the descriptions said it was WARM like a tube whether it had a tube or not!

There's probably TONS of stuff copied and pasted onto our site though that I'd disagree with.

War
 
Behringer has always made some pretty preposterous claims about their products.
 
I realize this doesn't relate much to mics ... but my all-time favorite happens to be the M-Audio Tampa's "Temporal Harmonic Alignment."

Their bullshit is so good, they even had the term trademarked! They make that crap sound so damn good, I almost want to go and order one. :D Damn! I don't have temporal harmonic alignment. How do I get me some a dat?

http://www.m-audio.com/products/en_us/TAMPA-main.html

.
 
BRIEFCASEMANX said:
hey, off topic, but I was wondering: Are you me, but from the future??? :confused:
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To quote Meg Ryan, I have no response to that.

Warhead said:
commented on how everything was described as "warm" and wanted to know what it meant. They counted it up and way over half of the descriptions said it was WARM like a tube whether it had a tube or not!
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Yeah I used that too. :o Damn. I'm gonna swap that out for "shimmery liquid goodness" :D
 
sdelsolray said:
Microtech Gefell, Schoeps, DPA and Neumann all do pretty good ad copy. Info on their respective websites is fairly devoid of "puffing". More scientific in nature.
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I think there's a lot to be said for the scientific approach. When I want info I'd rather talk to the person with the thick glasses than the sales guy.

I wonder if they shoot themselves in the foot sometimes though, given all the bogus info circulating online that takes specs and misrepresents them... for instance the DPA site's excellent info on diaphragm characteristics always makes me think that a lot of novices must read things like "small diaphragms have higher self noise" and then avoid ever getting one because they think it will hiss. And of course, the typical merchandising-oriented catalog ad copy plays that stuff up in their large dia. mic ads... and it gets circulated around the novice forums by "experts" who've read the catalogs thoroughly and maybe even own one or two mic's.

"Puffing"... good term.

Tim
 
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chessrock said:
I realize this doesn't relate much to mics ... but my all-time favorite happens to be the M-Audio Tampa's "Temporal Harmonic Alignment."

Their bullshit is so good, they even had the term trademarked! They make that crap sound so damn good, I almost want to go and order one. :D Damn! I don't have temporal harmonic alignment. How do I get me some a dat?

http://www.m-audio.com/products/en_us/TAMPA-main.html

.
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Actually, I thought that took fasting, chanting and incense. :D
 
I like to think I come pretty close to "truth in advertising" with the headphones I sell at http://moreme.info I've tried to explain what they are, and what they aren't. I liken them to the "cockroaches of the audio world" - not particularly pretty, and very hard to kill.

I never planned on it, but Widespread Panic, Sonic Youth, and Joss Stone are all using MoreMe phones in the studio - and loving them. Here's a recent message from Terry Manning when I asked if Joss Stone was using them:

"I asked in the Joss session, and they are all using the MoreMe's.

"Joss is singing with them! She loved them, and had asked the crew what kind they were.

The bass player had AKG's, and kept asking for more bass, more bass. He was never happy. Osie gave him a pair of MM's and he loved everything, no other change in the mix.

So they are a hit here.

Best,

T"

George Massenburg has had four sets for about 4 months now, and no complaints from him so far. Same with all the sets at Southern Tracks in Atlanta.

Apparently, it's not just HomeReccers who need inexpensive tracking phones that work.
 
Harvey Gerst said:
http://moreme.info I've tried to explain what they are, and what they aren't.
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That is a BS free site. And yep it does tell exactly what they are and aren't.

Other companies that are good that way are FMR and Great River. Mercenary too. Direct and factual.

Tim
 
I like this one for a Mann M21:

This large diaphragm cardioid condenser microphone ... offers a lovely balance between flat response and sonic colour

I thought either a mic was was flat or it wasn't.
 
Daniel Reichman said:
I like this one for a Mann M21:

This large diaphragm cardioid condenser microphone ... offers a lovely balance between flat response and sonic colour

I thought either a mic was was flat or it wasn't.
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it does say "balance between". that would'nt light up my bs meter.
 
Warhead said:
If I have extensive use with a piece I will add a little "What We Think" type of writeup around a paragraph long at the end.
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More sellers should do that.


Most "catalogs" though have a lot of stuff written by the retailer who puts them out.
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I agree. It's the quick hit catalog blurbs that are the most common offenders in the factoid-nonsense category IMO. "The full 1 inch diaphragm insures vintage analog warmth, rich bass and sweet highs... yet ultra low noise critical for digital recording that only an LDC can give. The 6 micron gold sputtered design makes this the perfect mic for the professional or home studio." I wrote that myself and I'm feeling sleazy.

Tim
 
I hate when advertisers give just plain wrong information in their product descriptions. Like describing small or mid-sized diaphragms mics as having large diaphragms.

I've seen SM7's advertised that way, and AT4033's as well.
 
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