"Black Soles" Original Song

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triquee

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Just wanted to post an original that I'm working on right now and get some feedback. I've only got the first part written so far, but I wanted to see what people thought of the vibe and lyrics and stuff.

This is a super rough mix so keep that in mind.

Thanks in advance.

 
Re: "Black Soles" Original Song

Just wanted to post an original that I'm working on right now and get some feedback. I've only got the first part written so far, but I wanted to see what people thought of the vibe and lyrics and stuff.

This is a super rough mix so keep that in mind.

Thanks in advance.
Lyrics:

Black soles, running in the dirt
Never would believe I could stumble until now

Your voice carrying my footsteps
Sayin' I would never fall, but I didn't ask you how

Even if I said I'm sorry
I know it's just a little too late...........................................
 
dukepayen said:
Just wanted to post an original that I'm working on right now and get some feedback. I've only got the first part written so far, but I wanted to see what people thought of the vibe and lyrics and stuff.

This is a super rough mix so keep that in mind.

Thanks in advance.
Lyrics:

Black soles, running in the dirt
Never would believe I could stumble until now

Your voice carrying my footsteps
Sayin' I would never fall, but I didn't ask you how

Even if I said I'm sorry
I know it's just a little too late...........................................
Click to expand...

So...is this your idea of a critique? I don't get it.
 
I think you have some real possibilities with this, looking forward to hearing more.

Tim
 
Love your vocals, very nice. Cranberryesque, but I like you better.

I think this would benefit from a slightly more intricate piano part, and perhaps bleeding some instruments in, guitars, etc...
 
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