I like a lot of the textures, the singer does a good job. I like how she layers the vocal parts.
My beef would be that the two chord sequence gets boring. 6 minutes of the same two chords is too much. You need some type of bridge to break things up, give it some variety. It would also let you come up with a bit more change in the drum patterns.
This section would be a good place to do a change. Then your instrumental break brings you back to the main theme.
You don't know how much you give
You see the world for what it is
You're not like other men
Made me feel like someone else
Cannot help but pinch myself
Now I feel alive again
I know that would probably require a complete rework and rerecording. I just think it would make the song more interesting in the long run.
Thank you very much for this constructive critique. You are spot on with your points, I'd thought pretty much the same myself. Not the praise, the criticisms!
We are aware of the length of the song, and the repeated chords used. It was a bit of a challenge we set ourselves, actually, to try to disguise the repeats, by dropping rhythms, adding instruments etc. Limiting the song to 4 chords, 2 if you really cut it down, was an exercise in songwriting.
As songwriters, we inevitably listen and analyse and break arrangements down. I wonder if casual listeners notice the repeats as much as we do. Yes, this one is a plodder, but we tried to inject variety in the verses, choruses, solos, drops, rhythms etc. Thought about adding a middle 8 but tried to stick to our self imposed brief.
Your suggested point for the bridge is a good one. Would only involve re- recording that part and dropping it in. Might even go crazy and use Am and G!
We have also discussed a "radio edit", and that's another fun challenge we may well do. Being ruthless, as a producer inevitably would be, I'd chop 22 seconds from the start, 40 from the end and then maybe look at losing a verse in the middle. Great points, thank you!
