Apologies For Mocking The Recording Process......

[Gidge]

sorry to do this here...this should go in the songwriters forum, but some of you never go there........

one take demo again......songwriting and future production suggestions welcome......offers to record it for real always accepted......

http://www.artistlaunch.com/artist3.asp?artistid=1182


GOODBYE FOR NOW

I never wondered why, I just took life for granted
I always thought that you’d be there
Now you’re gone, and they tell me life goes on
But how can I face living
Without you here the world seems so bare

Your light would always help me find my way
Now you’re shining bright in heaven
Cry a tear for all you’ve left behind
And I’ll smile for the life you’ve found


Chorus
--------
Because this world that gives us life
It turns around and it takes sometimes
I’ve learned to make the best of here and now
Cause I know somewhere down the line
In some other place and time
We’ll meet again to share our lives somehow
Goodbye for now


Now I think about the times, we shared and laughed together
I know we swore we’d never let them end
Now today I turn and you’re not there but I know in my heart
You’ll always stand right by my side

I know I never had the chance to say goodbye
But I know you’ll be there waiting
Cause you’ve always been
My strength, my light, my will to live
And I know you’ve made a place for me in heaven

Repeat Chorus

 

[muzeman]

Can I try?
As long as you don't mind waiting a while,I'm slooooooow!
But you already know that .

Real catchy chorus.

I lost my best friend a while back,pretty much how I feel about it.

Pete

 

[Gidge]

sure you can.....

Anthony (my friend) was killed about 10 years ago.....I'll never get over it in this lifetime......

if you decide to take this challenge, ill be with you every step of the way.....

 

[mixmkr]

Gidge..I'll accept your apologies on the recording quality. This one won't get you any awards for that..but I am sure you realize that. Main gripes where just the sounds themselves...like the cheezy key sound and the brittle gtr sound.

I think the lyrics are fine, and make a strong point. My only problem with them, is if you read them...or even listen to them, they come off sounding like they came off a Hallmark card...or something like that. I think trying to be a little more creative in what you are trying to express might be a little more interesting to listen to. I get this all the time with my Christian music. A lot of times I feel I am too blunt and to the point too much of the time, and wish I could say what I want to say, without sounding so "preachy" sounding. Unfortunately, I really have no suggestions on how to do what I am saying. Great lyrics aren't always easy to come by. I guess what I am trying to say, is to not be so obvious with your lyrics. But then again, that IS the intention of many songwriters...to be obvious with what they want to say, and not be so vague...like a Dylan.

oh...the chorus didn't seem like a chorus to me either. Just kinda like looong verses to me...in a way.


man....what a lousy post...but I still thought you'd be interested...so I didn't "delete"

 

[Gidge]

mixmkr,

what i respect most about you is your honesty when reviewing songs.....i dont need anyone blowing smoke up my butt....i cant improve if noone points out the flaws.....i appreciate the post and will take it all in consideration.......


mental note to self.....no more drum & pad parts from a $79 keyboard.......

 

[Toki987]

Im sure thats a really sincere piece for you, so I didn't much want to comment on it. I probably would never change a thing to that cut if it were mine.

I humbly submit that , if you did a remake of it for production purposes..., with your expertise, some work, and the sounds, you could really make it stand up like a monument.

 

[Lt. Bob]

It's hard to lose a friend. I'll be interested in seeing where this song ends up. It's clearly in its' early stages but it should be the basis of a fine song.

 

[Track Rat]

I know it's a demo but here's my take any way. The wood block/side stick was brutal. Mix it down and put some reverb on it. Yeah, the string pad is cheesy. Also a few intonation problems with the vocal. I've lost many friends over the years, one I considered my best friend. It's something I'll NEVER understand. It's cool that you can put it into song.

 

[Guernica]

....a great start gidge. Im looking forward to hearing it done.




g

 

[Emeric]

It's a good tune. A tad repetitive in the progressions. Not sure what you can do to fix that, possibly bring in some other instrumentation during the Chorus's.

I thought it could be a touch faster, maybe by 8 BPM. Sounds a bit dragged out in parts.

Good start on it.

 

[chrisharris]

What A Jerk I Am...

Hey Gidge:

I wanted to let you know that I think the tune is well written. I'm one of those really literal songwriters who doesn't like to leave much to the imagination of the listener; it's just my style. I try to leave as few "wtf's" as possible, so I dig this.

In my very honest opinion, the thing that's keeping this from taking off is your quickie vocal. I'm hearing some pitch problems that I think you'll fix when you go "all out" on this song, which I think you should definitely do. I just think that right now, the vocal's distracting some from the message. Man, this is not easy for me to say, either, because I think sometimes I'm overly critical of vocals, so I gave it a few listens and a day before jumping in here. I think you can and should do this vocal, because to me, songs just work better when the writer sings 'em (especially on the really personal tunes like this one)...as long as the writer takes the time to get the best vocal possible. I think it's just a time issue on this one...spend more on it???

I'm thinking you're more about the songwriting anyway, so I'm not too worried about you burning my house down or anything. Writin's way harder than singin', and (in my totally biased opinion) more important in the long run. Hell, you can always hire JAIMEE to sing your tunes , but nobody can write 'em for you.

Take care,
Chris

 

[Gidge]

Re: What A Jerk I Am...

Hell, you can always hire JAIMEE to sing your tunes Take care,
Chris

How much does she charge?....