another new song

[icystorm]

Here is a second new song demo. I have not recorded the vocals yet.

Comment welcomed.

"Heaven and Earth"

Words and music by: Joseph Spain
Music created on Jamstudio.com
Demo (no vocals yet): http://www.box.net/shared/5pizqajjj6

verse 1

Silent words unspoken
No one's heart should be alone
The nights we slept together
When you promised that we'd be forever

How can you not remember
All your words whispered to me
The kisses that expressed your love
Are now a memory...the darkest memory

chorus

My life I kneel for you
I hurt beyond heartbreak
I die as our souls part
You're the breath I take
My love you're still with me
In all ways that matter you're inside

Please I pray to you
I hold your memory
I live to feel your love
I breathe to bear your pain
My love you're still in me
In all ways you're heaven and earth

verse 2

Summer is an empty season
Tears hide in the rain
The love we made together
is a distant star that shines forever

The places that our hearts remember
When we hurt alone
A soul is love and passion
The world is sand and stone...the coldest sand and stone

chorus

My life I kneel for you
I hurt beyond heartbreak
I die as our souls part
You're the breath I take
My love you're still with me
In all ways that matter you're inside

Please I pray to you
I hold your memory
I live to feel your love
I breathe to bear your pain
My love you're still in me
In all ways you're heaven and earth

bridge

Rain (the prayer I pray)
Falls (is for our love)
Dreams come true when we sleep
I know what's inside when we die

chorus

My life I kneel for you
I hurt beyond heartbreak
I die as our souls part
You're the breath I take
My love you're still with me
In all ways that matter you're inside

Please I pray to you
I hold your memory
I live to feel your love
I breathe to bear your pain
My love you're still in me
For always you're heaven and earth

chorus

My life I kneel for you
I hurt beyond heartbreak
I die as our souls part
You're the breath I take
My love you're still with me
In all ways that matter you're inside

Please I pray to you
I hold your memory
I live to feel your love
I breathe to bear your pain
My love you're still in me
For always you're heaven and earth

(release)

 

[icystorm]

Here is a second demo of "Heaven and Earth" with the vocals added.

http://www.box.net/shared/45hykxysg4

I am using this second demo as a guide for making a better demo in the near future. The vocals will be re-recorded with changes to reduce some of the annoying sibilance, to express some more emotion in the chorus, and to hopefully make the chorus less monotone and sterile.

Basically, I've been recording and overdubbing sections of lines in the chorus so that I won't be out of breath at the end of a line, and that produced the unintended effect of making it sound choppy and monotone. I plan to work on that and correct it.

I will also be recording the vocals for the bridge on the next demo and adding some modest synth to the verses and increasing the music volume in the chorus.

There will be very minor tweaks to the lyrics as well to make the song flow more smoothly.

Some of these changes to my approach are based on the good feedback I received for my other rough demo for "First Love", which I am also still working on.

A new, better quality microphone is in the works for later, too. Maybe a Christmas stocking stuffer. Heh.

Comments, feedback, and criticisms welcomed, as always.

Ciao,
Joseph (icystorm)