All I Loved In You

[icystorm]

The music for the song is finished and I'm in the process of mixing the demo. I thought I'd post the lyrics for anyone to comment on before I record the vocals.

Thanks kindly for any feedback.

Cheers,
Joseph

All I Loved In You

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.3
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

Verse 1
I trust I know through faith alone
what your heart will finally say
The die of life is cast in stone
still the cutter chips away
The words you wrote are sealed inside
I'll pray alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely night
where I live to make you mine

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I pledge before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you

Verse 2
Pretend to know the counting clock
maybe once upon a time
I'd like to know, I'd love to learn
what it takes to make you smile
I'll count the stars you see at night
I'll wait alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely day
where I live to see your eyes

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I pledge before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you

Bridge
The river that brings love to you
Like waterfalls of life
The ocean's tide bewteen our hearts
Won't hold the tears I've cried

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I pledge before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you

(repeat chorus through fade)

 

[icystorm]

I made some slight adjustments to the lyrics and finished the backing track. I'm working on the vocals now.

Here is the backing track demo, sans the vocals (which may be finished in a few days or so, if I have time).

http://www.box.net/shared/6d1nrbqqtg

Cheers,
Joseph

----------------------------------

All I Loved In You

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.3
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

Verse 1
I trust I know through faith alone
what your heart will finally say
The die of life is cast in stone
still the cutter chips away
The words you wrote are sealed inside
I'll pray alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely night
where I live to make you mine

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

Verse 2
Pretend to know the counting clock
maybe once upon a time
I'd like to know, I'd love to learn
what it takes to make you smile
I'll count the stars you see at night
I'll wait alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely life
where I live to see your eyes

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

Bridge
The river that brings love to you
like the waterfalls of life
The ocean's tide between our hearts
won't hold the tears I've cried

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

(repeat chorus through fade)

 

[up-fiddler]

I haven't listened yet but the lyrics are among your best posted to date. The rewrite and thought put into the verses is very apparent in a good way.

The die of life is cast in stone
still the cutter chips away

The river that brings love to you
like the waterfalls of life
The ocean's tide between our hearts

I'll count the stars you see at night
I'll wait alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely life
where I live to see your eyes

These are excellent examples of how your writing has progressed. I wish I hd written the 'die of life' thing. Ditto with the comparison of stars to eyes....an old cliche' turned nicely. If I were to change anything in this song it would the the last phrase of the chorus. "Rainbow's end" just reminds me of little people and Judy Garland and Moon River and.....you know what I mean. I will listen once you get the vox up and running. This should be a good one if the music holds up as well as the storyline.

 

[gecko zzed]

Upfiddler has stolen my thunder, for I looked at the lyrics earlier today and thought similar thoughts, but didn't have time to voice them.

The verses are particularly strong, with good original imagery.

The chorus is not quite as strong, and I was hoping for more of that originality. Having said that, it does depend heavily on context, and when we hear this with its music, it may take on a different life. Also, having hear your material before, I expect that it will come across very well.

I look forward to hearing it.

 

[icystorm]

I haven't listened yet but the lyrics are among your best posted to date. The rewrite and thought put into the verses is very apparent in a good way.

The die of life is cast in stone
still the cutter chips away

The river that brings love to you
like the waterfalls of life
The ocean's tide between our hearts

I'll count the stars you see at night
I'll wait alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely life
where I live to see your eyes

These are excellent examples of how your writing has progressed. I wish I hd written the 'die of life' thing. Ditto with the comparison of stars to eyes....an old cliche' turned nicely. If I were to change anything in this song it would the the last phrase of the chorus. "Rainbow's end" just reminds me of little people and Judy Garland and Moon River and.....you know what I mean. I will listen once you get the vox up and running. This should be a good one if the music holds up as well as the storyline.

Thanks for reviewing that and your comments, Dave.

Yeah, I'm not sold on the "rainbow's end" part either. It was meant to convey the old idea of the "pot of gold at the end of the rainbow", with an underlying message that the "rainbow's end" is actually something that one cannot find.

Still workin' on it.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

Upfiddler has stolen my thunder, for I looked at the lyrics earlier today and thought similar thoughts, but didn't have time to voice them.

The verses are particularly strong, with good original imagery.

The chorus is not quite as strong, and I was hoping for more of that originality. Having said that, it does depend heavily on context, and when we hear this with its music, it may take on a different life. Also, having hear your material before, I expect that it will come across very well.

I look forward to hearing it.

Thanks for the review and comments, Gecko. I'm sidetracked a little with work for now, but I hope to return to the song soon.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[nzausrec]

"I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you"

Which doesn't appear to give her much time ...

It seems the theme is letting go, passing away ..?

 

[icystorm]

"I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you"

Which doesn't appear to give her much time ...

It seems the theme is letting go, passing away ..?

First, thanks kindly for reviewing my lyrics and commenting my friend.

I like to write lyrics that are mildly ambiguous and could hold multiple meanings. Your interpretation is certainly plausible, but from my perspective, it is actually a hopeful song. He's vowing to love her as long as he lives, even though she no longer reciprocates his feelings. It's a song that was written to suggest the idea of not giving up and holding on.

I had hoped to work more on the vocals this weekend, and I became sidetracked with home projects. I had finished my "alpha" versions of verse one and the chorus. Hopefully in the next week or so, I'll get a rough demo out.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

Update: lyrics added to new demo version

I finally managed to find a little time to record the demo vocals for this track.

I added the vocals, remixed the song, and adjusted the lyrics slightly.

As always, I would love to have a female singer record the track if it is deemed worthy.

I made a dumb mistake by accidentally altering my distance to the mic slightly for the second verse. I'll remedy that later.

Anyway, this demo should give a basic idea of how the song flows.

Soundclick:
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=787980&songID=7513354

Box:
http://www.box.net/shared/cp6r65irvl

Cheers,
Joseph

- - - - l y r i c s - - - -

All I Loved In You

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.3
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

Verse 1
I trust I know through faith alone
what your heart will finally say
The die of life is cast in stone
still the cutter chips away
The words you wrote are sealed inside
I'll pray alone and bide my time
Forever is a lonely night
where I live to make you mine

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

Verse 2
Depended on the counting clock
baby once upon a time
I'd like to know, I'd love to learn
what it takes to make you smile
I'll count the stars you see at night
I'll wait alone till you decide
Forever is a lonely life
where I live to see your eyes

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

Bridge
The river that brings love to you
through the waterfalls of life
The ocean's tide between our hearts
can't hold the tears I've cried

Chorus
I can't forget the way we met
You're with me night and day
I'll guard our flame
You have my word
I'll take it to my grave
I swear before the final breath I draw
to live for you
I pledge to find your rainbow's end
with all I loved in you

(repeat chorus through fade)

 

[Cosmic]

Joseph,

I have only had a chance to read the lyrics, but I like them. There is a nice old-fashioned candor to his declarations ('guarding the flame', he gives his word. et. cetera) but in your re-write you took out two of my favorites:

"I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you"

Those lines are too good to go to waste; if nothing else, keep them for another song. They are very poetic, and yet also very descriptive. "Sleeping inside the memory" really envelops you.

I'll give a listen too, to see where you are headed melodically with this.

Best,
C.

 

[ido1957]

Excellent song Joseph - light, airy, melodic with great lyrics!

 

[icystorm]

Joseph,

I have only had a chance to read the lyrics, but I like them. There is a nice old-fashioned candor to his declarations ('guarding the flame', he gives his word. et. cetera) but in your re-write you took out two of my favorites:

"I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you"

Those lines are too good to go to waste; if nothing else, keep them for another song. They are very poetic, and yet also very descriptive. "Sleeping inside the memory" really envelops you.

I'll give a listen too, to see where you are headed melodically with this.

Best,
C.

Thanks much for listening and the kind words, Cosmic. A friend helped me improve the mastering and I updated the mix this evening.

Yes, I liked the line you cited too, and I may recycle that later.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

Excellent song Joseph - light, airy, melodic with great lyrics!

Thanks for listening and the kind words, Ido. A friend helped me to improve the mastering and I remixed the song this evening. Same links as before.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[Whatmysay]

I am not all convinced by the chorus. I love the bridge and concur with all the good lyrics throughout verses but . . .

OK I am going to go out on a limb here.

. . . The open 4 lines are your Chourus and from "I'ii guard our flame . . . to . . . live for you" is the start of the song.

Think about this declaration as the opening and the rest of the song is the exploration of the relationship that you already have - but the Chorus is saying then it doesn't matter what I say we still have fate to deal with?

Then you Bridge takes on a different energy/interpretation.

I am not sure ho willing you are to de-construct your stuff once you have put the vox down. I thinking this is amongst some of your strongest work to date and really deserves to develop further IMHO.

Hope this helps rather than hinders

Burt

 

[icystorm]

I am not all convinced by the chorus. I love the bridge and concur with all the good lyrics throughout verses but . . .

OK I am going to go out on a limb here.

. . . The open 4 lines are your Chourus and from "I'ii guard our flame . . . to . . . live for you" is the start of the song.

Think about this declaration as the opening and the rest of the song is the exploration of the relationship that you already have - but the Chorus is saying then it doesn't matter what I say we still have fate to deal with?

Then you Bridge takes on a different energy/interpretation.

I am not sure ho willing you are to de-construct your stuff once you have put the vox down. I thinking this is amongst some of your strongest work to date and really deserves to develop further IMHO.

Hope this helps rather than hinders

I appreciate you listening and offering advice, Burt. Your suggestions are interesting and thought provoking.

BTW, sharing ideas never hinders, from my perspective. Too many people apologize for sharing constructive ideas.

My writing style assumes a purposeful degree of ambiguity, so that the majority of my songs may be perceived in multiple ways, based on the listener's perspective and imagination.

From my perspective, this song's verses are about "what was" and "what is hoped for" regarding one's past love. The chorus is generally a declaration, as you observed, that says, "I'll always be here if you change your mind." That's the way it is actually intended.

Still, your interpretation is reasonable. If the song is perceived in the way you suggest, a rearrangement would certainly be an interesting option.

Please feel free to alter the arrangement and lyrics and post an alternative version, similar to the treatment that was given to Dave's recent song. I would enjoy that. Of course, you've already heard my version, so, the conditions would be different this time.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[gecko zzed]

I agree with Cosmic about the loss of the lines: ""I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you".

But . . . I enjoyed the track. It has that special and characteristic Icystorm lightness, and instrumentally is creamy and smooth.

I note Burt's comments about alterantive structures, but I'm okay with the song as it is.

At about 1.15 there is a brief instrumental interlude, and I would have been interested to hear something interesting happening in that gap . . . at the moment it's just an interlude between two parts of the song.

The bridge ends with "Tears I've cried", and you go to the moving high note on 'cried'. It would be neat to hold on to that note so that it carries over into the chorus, so that the chorus vocals start underneath it.

 

[Strat1958]

The bridge ends with "Tears I've cried", and you go to the moving high note on 'cried'. It would be neat to hold on to that note so that it carries over into the chorus, so that the chorus vocals start underneath it.

That is a GREAT idea.

-Mike

 

[nzausrec]

That's nice.
Very nice vocal tones and neat beat.
I like the various melodies of instruments running through.
It is like the Bee Gees.

PS: When I'm feeling down and out it's the best thing to listen to a song and have your feelings pick up and become a little more optimistic. Yours did that.
But, (here we go - everyone's gotta be a critic on this site) a bit stronger in parts, a little instruments coming out stronger in the mix in parts, an instrumental of guitar - as someone mentioned, would make it stronger. Maybe not a fade out at the end, but a quick boom boom of drums ...

"Story of Lies" has some very nice tones coming through. What (who and how) are the harmonies in the back of the chorus of that song? That one finishing on a fade works. That one has been taken off the headphones and put onto the amp and speakers, so your voice fills my house. ^_^ Don't particularly like the instrumental refrain thing after the first chorus, but the vocals - wow. PErFect. I'm starting to sing along with it. Shoot, that's as good as any song that the BeeGees would have made. But it's not theirs it's yours.

What sort of mic and interface etc are you using in general out of interest?

 

[icystorm]

I agree with Cosmic about the loss of the lines: ""I'll sleep inside the memory
of all I loved in you".

But . . . I enjoyed the track. It has that special and characteristic Icystorm lightness, and instrumentally is creamy and smooth.

I note Burt's comments about alterantive structures, but I'm okay with the song as it is.

At about 1.15 there is a brief instrumental interlude, and I would have been interested to hear something interesting happening in that gap . . . at the moment it's just an interlude between two parts of the song.

The bridge ends with "Tears I've cried", and you go to the moving high note on 'cried'. It would be neat to hold on to that note so that it carries over into the chorus, so that the chorus vocals start underneath it.

Thanks for listening and the helpful comments, Gecko.

I definitely like two of your ideas; Changing the lyrics back to "I'll sleep inside the memory of all I loved in you," which is definitely easier to sing, and holding the note at the end of the bridge longer to overlap the beginning of the chorus.

I will incorporate both changes on the next version. Thanks!

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[icystorm]

That's nice.
Very nice vocal tones and neat beat.
I like the various melodies of instruments running through.
It is like the Bee Gees.

Thanks! Barry Gibb has always been my greatest inspiration as a songwriter. He definitely wrote the book on songwriting! My work pales in comparison, but I try!

PS: When I'm feeling down and out it's the best thing to listen to a song and have your feelings pick up and become a little more optimistic. Yours did that. But, (here we go - everyone's gotta be a critic on this site) a bit stronger in parts, a little instruments coming out stronger in the mix in parts, an instrumental of guitar - as someone mentioned, would make it stronger. Maybe not a fade out at the end, but a quick boom boom of drums ...

That's actually a very good point. Better drum programming is something -- okay, one of many things -- my songs lack. I use Jamstudio, which limits the outcome potential, but I have been slowly teaching myself to use an open source drum program. It seems to take forever to do it right, and I become impatient with the process.

"Story of Lies" has some very nice tones coming through. What (who and how) are the harmonies in the back of the chorus of that song? That one finishing on a fade works. That one has been taken off the headphones and put onto the amp and speakers, so your voice fills my house. ^_^ Don't particularly like the instrumental refrain thing after the first chorus, but the vocals - wow. PErFect. I'm starting to sing along with it. Shoot, that's as good as any song that the BeeGees would have made. But it's not theirs it's yours.

Wow! Thanks again. I really miss hearing new material from the Gibbs, so I enjoy trying to imagine what they could/would produce if we were 20-25 years in the past (sans the disco stuff).

The backing vox are overdubs of me singing at different ranges, including falsetto, and using Voxengo 2.0 VST with some reverb/delay.

Cheers,
Joseph