Add some verses!

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drstawl

drstawl

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I ran headlong into a Rod Piazza tune today and immediately came up with more verses, but the structure and the mood and topic is all stolen from the original, from his Album, "Beyond the Source"

She's got long legs
way up to the sky
The world and his uncle
want a piece of that pie
She knows what she does
When she struts down the road
you tell me:
who knows what's goin' on?

She's got gooey bud
That stinks up my Van
And windowpane
When my brain needs a tan
I never have to ask
What kind of shit is she on?
But You tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

She's Got those Eyes
That Make Me Twitch
Glad I Ain't Drivin'
I'd end up in a ditch
I reached for my keys
found my cadillac gone
Got a Sweet Disposition
that's burned into ROM
When I go to bed
I ain't sleepin' alone.
So You tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

She knows what to say
And she knows what to do
When I get real thirsty
She's always got brew
Don't need a corsage
We ain't goin' to the Prom
You tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

She takes out the garbage
And she mows the lawn.
I can't even leave
She'd wish me into the corn!
When she walks away slowly
I feel reborn
But you tell me:
Who knows what's Goin' On?

She Fills out my taxes
She Signs for my Loans
I don't have to worry
If I can get stoned
If I'll be repaid
for my adaptive tone
same goes for wondering
when I'm getting boned
When I go to bed
I ain't sleepin' alone.
you tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?
 
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One More Set!

She loves my Silver Cloud
And My Learjet on Loan
My Olympic Jacuzzi
Carved in Italian Stone
She breaks the bank
Like a Chicken Bone
But You Tell Me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

She dresses in camo
Comes Equipped with Small Arms
Her Hand Grenades
Are only some of her charms
When she lights my fire
She sets off the Alarm!
So You tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

When She shines up my Harley
It's an orgy of chrome
She's always up
For a crystal Bone
She got a first class ticket
that's etched in stone
Now Pass me that bottle
of Grey Poupon;
And then tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?
 
Come On! Help Me Now!

She's got a Diamond Tierra
And a Platinum Throne
An IMAX theatre
for a videophone
Every bite we eat
Is Organically Grown
You tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

She vacations in Fiji
When Nice gets too cold
Her Laptop's brand new
But her Cuervo is old
When I'm in the mood
She don't need to be told
you tell me:
Who knows what's goin' on?

When I order shrimp
she don't bring me no prawns
She shreds on guitar
Just like Stevie Ray Vaughn!
Got a 100 foot dock
Where she parks her Dinghy
And an army on call
Just to polish that thingie!
A nuclear sub
for when the party gets Down
You tell me:
Who knows what's Goin' On?
 
go doc!

go doc!
go doc!
go doc!
Sorry but I must save all my jewels for Layla's one song a week challenge.

I cant be bothered with olympic stone jucuzzi's
and natural grown food,
I'd love to join the rant
But I just ain't in the mood.
And besides I take my time so
my rhymes don't sound crude
So I'll tell you:
I sure don't know what's goin on.
-okobd
 
Doctor,
I am afraid Mike is the extent of my Piazza experience so I followed your lead to a great morning workout.


Pops a rivet like rosie
Blows a bubble like dom
Dated Robert E Howard
Now she's worshipping Crom
Has 3 times more fun
On the autobahn
She's spastic
Elastic a la whats goin' on.

The paper she writes for
Assigned her to roam
Gave her rogets thesaurus
Said "send something home!"
What she sent was a bill
On the back she had scrawled
"Only 3 steps
behind your "what's goin' on?""
 
OK to be completely serious: You really should record all this!

Do it as a response to the original tune or something...

kinda like when Wealon Jennings wrote "Honkey Tonk Angels" and some other female artist wrote "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" as a response... even used the same music I believe.

Would be worth the venture just to be able to say you did it.

And I for one would love to hear it in its entirety.

- Tanlith -

Webmaster: Super Loop Library
 
tanlith said:
You really should record all this!
Would be worth the venture just to be able to say you did it.
And I for one would love to hear it in its entirety.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the encouragement! I hope to be able to do it someday soon. I'll be sure to put it in the clinic.
 
Cut the verses down to the best ones. Make sure they all hang on some kind of theme, or direction. You won't regret making the sacrifice.

Up on Cripple Creek she sends me
If I spring a leak she mends me
I don't have to speak she defends me
A drunkard's dream if I ever did see one
 
She tickles my ivories,
She tinkles my windchimes,
she tensions my clockwork,
she sounds my alarm time;
Heaven sent sexual healing
Trouble man be doggone,
Maybe Marvin can tell me
Just what's going on?

edit: changed "sets off" to "sounds" - too close to one of Doc's existing lines...
 
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OK it's a done deal!

I'll be posting it in the mp3 clinic after a copy reaches the Jamfest.

It's blues dedicated to the "I can't be in Andover for the Jamfest blues."

I sure wish I had a real drummer but such is life!
 
Maybe it's due
to the state of my mind
But I just cannot see
the deeper meaning of rhyme
Letting some word
rhyme to another word
Is the most cheesy thing
that I've ever heard
Now I should stop before
you draw a gun
Stickin' it in my mouth
asking "WHAT'S GOING ON?"


thus, my worthless input........
 
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