Acoustic ballad I made for school - help me out!

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Halion

Halion

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So, today was the big day: the presentation at school in which I presented my product that we had to make this semester. The assignment was to make a song that is currently chart-sensitive. I tried many different things but it always seem to be too much my own thing and not enough "the world's thing". I'll first let everyone have a listen:


The setup used:
Larrivee acoustic into 2 MXL 2001s (only mikes available) in a very reverberant room. AB mic setup at the 12th fret and just behind the bridge.
MXL 2001 in a dry booth on vocals.
Peavey C4 bass, DI.
Drumkit From Hell 2 drums.
Edirol Orchestral strings.
Mixed in Cubase using mostly Waves plugs.

What I'm looking for is feedback on 2 things:
- Engineering quality (I played everything myself appart from the vocals).
- Chart-sensitivity: if you were a pop-teen, would you buy this?

Many thanks,

Tim

PS: the file is about 9 megs.
 
Sounds good!! I like it. IMO its pretty tight. Well for the pop crowd there is too much profanity. I mean you busted out the F-Bomb in the first verse. :eek:

On the engineering, I would spend a little more time on the mix. I just hear a few volume issues here and there. Other than that great!

GREAT JOB!! I liked it, you both got skills! (in my best Napolean voice)
 
Thanks mate. I know about the volume burst (the snare jumps out too much sometimes and perhaps the strings aswell).

Are you sure the F word is gonna be the problem? I didn't think it was that big a deal (kids like to swear right?).
 
First off, nice tune. Sounds very good. Other than a few issues with drum sounds, as mentioned by VSpaceBoy, I like the song. The words, it's hard to tell if kids would shy away from that or not. I don't know about that, but he might be correct in that it could turn some kids off. I just listened again, and would say you ptobably need to work on the volume issues with some things...Drums at certain moments, like the cymbal crashes at 2:40, but they are small isuues. They can be fixed pretty easily. No big issues, so great tune. Very nice job on performance, and capturing that.

Well done.
Ed
 
Good song. Really good singer and gtr playing, and excellent sound quality IMO. Grabs you right at the intro. I think the sound is so sweet and clear there, and the F word is enunciated so mildly that the profanity slips by pretty easily But if you're aiming at teens, not college age, the F thing might hurt - guess you'll have to do a bleeped version. Ha!

Drums are too loud. When I hear songs like this that have a naturalness to them and are so well done, it always seems to detract, to my ear, to have any emphasis on artificial instrumental parts. Put 'em in if you feel they're needed, but maybe pull them back in the mix. Feel the same way about the synth strings. Chuck them and do more guitar! Bass is maybe a bit too loud, but might not be if the kick was lower.

Tim
 
Ok, so turn down the bass a bit, tame the drums and do something about the strings. I really wanna keep them. Maybe I need to use a (better) sample library.
 
Generally in pop music, you can reach a bigger audience by not swearing. You can't get criticized for that, but you can be criticized for using profanity.

Really good tune though. Sounds great even in headphones.
 
I disagree with turning down the bass guitar. Actually, I think it needs a different tone. Try copying the bass channel, keep one the same, and make the other very "bassy and boomy". This way you have that rumble with the bass that most pop music has while still having the punchiness and clarity of each note. I don't mean make it muddy, just "wider" because I think the bass guitar caries the rhthym of the song.

I think the voice and guitars are excellent souding.
The strings sound fine to me.
I'd liven up the snare a bit, not volume wise, maybe just a tad more punch in the eq. And I'd bring the bass drum out so that it's a bit upfront. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I asume you're going for the "good beat" type of pop sound. Unfortunately, that means the kick and bass guitar carry the instrumentals.

It really was a great tune though, liked it a lot.
 
i think it would sound better with a little less verb on the snare, to make it sound a little tighter...yeah the drums sound kinda verby to me, maybe its just cus they are loud? the vocals sound great, just goes to show that a good vocalist will sound good on any mic. i agree that the bass needs a different tone, it doesnt necessarily sound too loud but just sort of out of place with the sound of the guitar. i think this is a good song though, and the profanity might not be radio friendly, but overall i think its something teens would like for sure.
 
hmmm wouldnt chart sensitive mean something potential for top ten?

to get to top ten you have to have radio play. no radio play with F.... although i didnt catch it.
The song is great, I dont know if it is top ten great but I think it is great, and seems convincing that it is from a top ten artist.

There is much bass in the mix. very dynamic mix.

FW
 
After listening to this song on my daily cycled jukebox I think, in hindsight, that you should rearrange it to exclude the "f*cked" bit of lyric just so her voice can be heard by more people without potential issues getting in the way.

Tim
 
I really couldn't find anything to criticize, maybe a little more upper mid on the bass. I like it. I wish you had it on Soundclick so I could add to my station. I never noticed the offending verb. Though, listening to it again, I'd love to hear this bassline on a fretless P-Bass. That would kill the commercial aspect, however.
 
the bass is at a good volume i think. but u need to get a differnt tone. its not that its a bad tone, but u need something differnt for this song, and like someone said before, get some booming bass.

i dont mind the swearing, but changing fucked to "screwed" is not that big a change, maybe consider it.

but all up i like it alot. its very catchy.
 
I like it a lot.

I don't think the swearing is an issue at all - remember that song "F*** you right back"... all the kids loved that - how much swearing did that have?
 
i like the song alot actually,


bass line is awsome, think the tone is good , its diffrent , and not something you'd ussually hear

nice work.
 
I wouldn't worry about dropping the F-bomb, I think its almost required to get on the radio these days. They just bleep half a milisecond out of the middle of the word and its all good.

The singer has a really cool voice and I really like the strings. My only complaint would be the drums. Needs live drums. But Im a drummer so what do you expect. I think live drums would add a human dynamic that is just sort of not there. Still an awsome tune though.
 
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