A new rough sketch

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pglewis

New member
Some more depressing Tryphtopan stuff. We haven't even finished the first batch of demo stuff and Austin has at least a CD's worth of other material recorded that we haven't dug into. Despite that, we recorded something brand new the other night.

I've been getting great advice from everyone on things to do (or not to do) on future recordings. The problem is that most of the things I put up are so far along that making major changes isn't usually an option. I decided to put this one up early in the sketch process... warts and all. Austin wrote it Friday, and we recorded it at 1AM. Austin did the vocs and the guitar to the left. I did the guitar to the right. I did exactly what I usually complain about, too: compressed the acoustics a little too much. Birds were chirping at that point and I didn't spend too much time on the mix. Maybe this would be better in the songwriting forum since I'm looking for arrangement and production feedback more than mixing feedback. I'm not sure.

I have ideas of my own, but I don't want to taint the outside criticism.
http://www.xdrive.com/share/964388461vTw9Z0XPcm0oewPtLbiH376
 
Just a few comments on this one if it will help...

Make the intro a few measures longer and put some harmonics there to sweeten it up a bit.
The verse is too long before you get to the "What's wrong?" (chorus part?) and people might lose interest waiting on the change.
I would add in a couple of "what's wrongs" after the line "I wish I were someone else", just to break it up a bit (almost like an ad-lib)... that will also let people know where you are going with it.
I'd then shorten the full chorus of "what's wrongs" from the present 35 seconds, down to under 25 seconds. Women hate it when us guys pester them about "what's wrong?"... they expect us to guess at this shit, right?
Also, it would sound nice if you had a second vocal part sing a high harmony that follows your lead vocal when you sing "what's wrong" and "goodbye".
As far as the recording aspect, I'd try to get a little more low end out of the acoustic guitar and add a bit of plate reverb if possible.


[This message has been edited by Buck62 (edited 07-23-2000).]
 
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