A new mix by me.. please comment/critique

[austinm08]

Mostly what I want constructive criticism on is the vocals. The guitar part is just 4 chords over and over, obviously. This is a cover that I did today.. in an hour or two..

old

new (half step lower, redone completely)

*and if you're not into religion and for some reason can't handle the lyrics, please just ignore them and concentrate on the voice

 

[austinm08]

Lets go.. this thing is getting some views, but yet nobody is saying anything. It would mean so much to me to get some feedback

Lyrics, if trying to understand them is bothering you guys:

As I sit here and think
About all that You've done
About how You gave me Your one and only Son
And I'm trying to fathom
All that You are, but so far, Lord
You're so beyond me
I fall down in reverence
And I fall down in fear
And I'm asking You, Lord, won't You please draw near
Won't You open my eyes
So that I can see
The way that You are working in me
All I need is Your love
To come and fill this heart of mine
My heart is a desert that has gone dry
And I need Your love to carry me bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
To carry me bye, bye, bye, bye, bye
To carry me bye
And I lay down my life
And I put it before You
All that I am is in Your hands
And I'm not going to question, why You're so faithful
Why that You give me the blessing that You have
Let the glory be known, let the glory be shown
Lift You up unto the throne
You are my God, You are my King
To You I give, I give You everything

 

[fasterthanu]

I think it's catchy and has potential.

The vocal recording isn't bad and the singer has a nice voice, but the delivery sounds amateur and unrehersed. I'd practice it and relax a bit, and loose the over top bits in the chorus (all i nee eee ee D is your love etc)

It lacks dynamics, I don't know what you have at your disposal but perhaps layering the string parts to build towards the end, or adding a few little arpeggios. Maybe take the drums out for a few bars then drop them back in to vary the music a bit.

Overall i liked it.

Regards
J mac

 

[austinm08]

I think it's catchy and has potential.

The vocal recording isn't bad and the singer has a nice voice, but the delivery sounds amateur and unrehersed. I'd practice it and relax a bit, and loose the over top bits in the chorus (all i nee eee ee D is your love etc)

It lacks dynamics, I don't know what you have at your disposal but perhaps layering the string parts to build towards the end, or adding a few little arpeggios. Maybe take the drums out for a few bars then drop them back in to vary the music a bit.

Overall i liked it.

Regards
J mac

Thanks for the advice/comments. I'll work on it.

 

[austinm08]

New version.. here it is.. a half step lower and redid the parts and everything.. switched some stuff around.. added some background vox.. added bass

 

[fasterthanu]

A marked improvement. I still have issues with the drums. They are very monotonous. Although one of the things i like about this track is it's simplicity, a hi hat or some symbols wouldn't go a miss. Sounds like your using a drum machine which can be difficult to use if your not a drummer.

What's your set up?

Could you think about using drum loops?

There are many excellent pre-made construction kits out there which can save you loads of time and make life much easier.

Regards
J Mac

 

[S.Clause]

I downloaded the latest version only.
Well, yeah it's pretty simpel and straightforward. I'm with fasterthanu on the drum comments. They do sound pretty much like a drum-machine and I'm not too fund of the samples/EQing either.
The voice is nice, but I think you should try to articulate better. Sometimes you tend to swallow last syllables. Are you openeing your mouth wide enough when singing? I too had the feeling I was missing clarity, I then tried simply opening my mouth wider than I normally would and it did help a bit.

good luck

 

[austinm08]

A marked improvement. I still have issues with the drums. They are very monotonous. Although one of the things i like about this track is it's simplicity, a hi hat or some symbols wouldn't go a miss. Sounds like your using a drum machine which can be difficult to use if your not a drummer.

What's your set up?

Could you think about using drum loops?

There are many excellent pre-made construction kits out there which can save you loads of time and make life much easier.

Regards
J Mac

Yes, I did use a program on the computer for the drums. I would actually play and record the drums, but I only have one mic (SM57) and I don't think I could get good quality with my resources. Yes, I agree I should go back into the program and edit the drums to vary them a little. I've never used drum loops.. so I don't really know how that works.

I downloaded the latest version only.
Well, yeah it's pretty simpel and straightforward. I'm with fasterthanu on the drum comments. They do sound pretty much like a drum-machine and I'm not too fund of the samples/EQing either.
The voice is nice, but I think you should try to articulate better. Sometimes you tend to swallow last syllables. Are you openeing your mouth wide enough when singing? I too had the feeling I was missing clarity, I then tried simply opening my mouth wider than I normally would and it did help a bit.

good luck

I'll try your advice on the vocals.. thanks. I guess maybe I should try opening my mouth wider.. hm.

ok.. thanks you two!

 

[fasterthanu]

IMHO Using drum loops is much simpler than using a drum machine.

Personally i use drums on demand, which cater for guitar based musicians.

I use the 24 bit .wav format in cubase sx. The sets are arranged by tempo and named, verse, verse alt, chorus, bridge. Set up a new track on your sequencer, make sure the tempo is set to match your loops, if you have a snap to grid button make sure it's on, then drag and drop your loops in.

the loops i use are recorded in a pro studio by a pro session drummer. I can have a 3-4 minute drum track arrange in matter of minutes, which then frees me up to get on with the creative stuff.

If you want an idea what all this sounds like this is my site

www.soundclick.com/scud

or just google drums on demand.

Regards
J mac

 

[austinm08]

IMHO Using drum loops is much simpler than using a drum machine.

Personally i use drums on demand, which cater for guitar based musicians.

I use the 24 bit .wav format in cubase sx. The sets are arranged by tempo and named, verse, verse alt, chorus, bridge. Set up a new track on your sequencer, make sure the tempo is set to match your loops, if you have a snap to grid button make sure it's on, then drag and drop your loops in.

the loops i use are recorded in a pro studio by a pro session drummer. I can have a 3-4 minute drum track arrange in matter of minutes, which then frees me up to get on with the creative stuff.

If you want an idea what all this sounds like this is my site

www.soundclick.com/scud

or just google drums on demand.

Regards
J mac

Alright, I will check that out!
The drums sound great, as does your music! Thanks a lot bud.