A New Collaboration...Will Continue If Good.

D

Dougie Johnson

New member
I usually write all my drivel alone, but this time I was given lyrics by a well-respected Los Angeles lyricist.
Hoping not to ruin this opportunity, I tried to write a typical pop song from them. Your opinions on both the music & lyrics are definitely welcome...As usual, I did all instruments & vocals.

Please give it a listen if you get the chance, and all input and
criticism will be taken as positive feedback. I really want to fine tune this collaboration!
The song is "Love At Tenth Sight"

Thanks,
DJ

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/alternative/slappy/
 
I think the lyrics, music and arrangement worked really well....especially the way the song ends. Nice job!
 
Great song, Dougie!

This tune sounded like a songwriting collaboration from Elvis Costello and The Clash. :)

Nice job on the guitars, too.

Buck
 
Music reminds me of Teenage Fanclub.

At first I didn't like the line about rhyming kisses, but on the third listening, it started to grow on me. What I like best about this song is how the song parallels the collaboration with the other guy - you're not sure about it, but hanging in long enough for things to start happening.

I like the sound on those guitars, by the way.

See if he does lyrics about anything other than love songs.
 
Nice song, everything sounded like it should;). It didn't particularly 'stand out' to me, but it might just be the style. Obviously others thought different. Good work.

Jags
 
Good pop song, Dougie!

The vocal reminded me a little of Steve Forbert (remember him?). On the verse, the lyrics sounded a little rushed, like you were squeezing in a syllable or two that didn't quite fit, so I would work on the phrasing just a little. You also want to get the pitch just right in a song like this. I'm being extra critical 'cause the song is worth it.

I agree that the lead guitar sounds great...
 
Dougie -

The recording is mixed well and the instrumentation is also done well.

My problem (and this is admittedly a matter of taste) is that both the lyrics and song itself sound too much like what we used to call "bubble gum" music. IOW directed towards 10-14 year old girls. However, that's probably who buys all the records - so maybe you've got a hit.
 
Thanks For The Input!

Thank you for all the opinions & criticism...

MAC2-Thanks for giving it a listen. Glad there are still those fans of "Pop" music out there, it's a dying art...

Hey Buck!..Thanks for the thumps up...Elvis Costello AND The Clash? I love the Clash, but never thought of them as a"Pop" band. And Costello is one of Ruben Gerard's favorite lyricists, so I will pass that on to him & he will smile broadly. Glad you like the guitar sound, it was done on my 1972 "Hybrid" Gibson Les Paul.
And it was direct through the POD, which I need to wean myself from someday.

Dobro!...Thanks for your ears, yours are always good ones.
Yes, Ruben does write alot more than just love songs. This guy has written on at least 10 other topics I can think of off the top of my head. It's great to have a friend who is also your favorite lyricist! If you ae interested in recording anything he was written lyrics for, let me know & I'll try to hook you up with him.
And thanks for the compliments on the guitar sound!

Jags...Glad you liked the mix. I tried to get the song to stand out a bit by trying to write "Hooky" melodies to it, but maybe I fell a bit short. Thanks for giving it your ears, too.

Wassup Slim, Hostmaster MC?:D ...I remember Steve Forbert "Jackrabbit Slim". I though he was pretty under-rated, but aren't most great writers? I am fully aware that I am not a good singer, I do struggle with pitch. Let me know hw you think this mightbe phrased differently, and I will give it a try. I am very green in the area of Lead Singing & Phrasing. Glad you liked the tune & coming from a writer like you, I do take what you say to heart so thank you,

Dachay2tnr (?)(Personalized Plate?)...Thanks for your evaluation.
I tend to write very "Bubble-Gum" pop songs, which went out of style sometime around 1973 wth Sweet. I don't really know if there's a market anywhere for my songs, but I will be leading the charge if this stuff comes back as a Retro fad... I'm the same way as you. I hate a certain type of music, but I know when someone is doing it right, it doen't bother me as much...So thanks for that compliment!.


Thanks again for giving it a go, youse guyz..I'll do some fine tuning from what I've been given here.

DJ
 
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