30 seconds of chorus idea... *opinions?*

[SEDstar]

I noticed most people worry about the chorus first, I can understand that, its the most important (arguably) aspect of a traditional song.

wanted opinions therefore on this chorus idea, before I go further...

http://www.mediafire.com/?yy0ck0xggaj

 

[dementedchord]

well lets see i'm hearing it as Fmin Amin Gmin(or C79) the movement from Fmin to Amin seems alittle awkward to me... you could make it work though if ya accent the Ab moving to the A in the melody...

 

[Frankie Rage]

Do you have in mind that the melody would be sung directly as it is? Or is the piece a backing for a chorus with a different melody to be sung over the top?

If it's the former, then I would say that you need to simplify the melody, reduce the number of notes? Also, I might use sustained notes to demo the melody note-for-note as you are expecting the singer to sing it.

If it's the latter then I would say it might make a better backing for a verse than a chorus? I could I think put a lyric and a vocal melody over the top of this backing, if it were a backing. But it doesn't immediately strike me as a chorus in it's present form.

Hey but what do I know... I thought quavers were a savoury snack... the last time I used a chord it was to hold up my trousers! I got a note once, it said "stop following me, you pervert!"

Either way I liked the piece, the melody is appealing.

 

[ido1957]

well lets see i'm hearing it as Fmin Amin Gmin(or C79) the movement from Fmin to Amin seems alittle awkward to me... you could make it work though if ya accent the Ab moving to the A in the melody...

I don't have my guitar here to play along but those are 3 chords I normally wouldn't use together, cause I only use i iV V lol....

All kidding aside, it's working fine by me so just proceed to the next step which is the verses.....