28 year-old song...now in production

  • Thread starter Thread starter Cedar Fever
  • Start date Start date
C

Cedar Fever

New member
Would like your thoughts about this song I wrote. Thanks, CF

.........White Mans' Greed.........

The soldiers rode their horses fast
Toward the reservation
The braves had gone to hunt for food
The soldiers were 'advanc'n'

The tepees stood tall each eye to eye
The Northern Star was in the sky
All the children fast asleep
Their mothers weary no food to eat
The braves had gone to hunt for food
The soldiers knew just what to do

They aimed their cannon from the hills
The fuses were lit - the earth she stood still
The children they cried
Their mothers they died
The generals were 'a-pranc'n'

Now the chief's young son
He was just barely two
My Lord, oh God, what could he do?
The braves had gone to hunt for food
The soldiers knew just what to do

When the chief came home
He found his young wife
She’d been raped and stabbed
By a soldier’s knife
High in the sky an eagle did fly
Looking down he asked himself why

All they wanted was to be left alone
To hunt and fish - to keep their tepees warm
Their land was sacred and the air was clean
But the white man’s greed destroyed their dreams
The braves had gone to hunt for food
The soldiers knew just what to do
 
Cedar Fever,

This song is older than 28 years and in my opinion one which cannot be sung enough. I have one reservation with the pun intended to make a point. Wether it is right or wrong there are certain words that have come to be associated with the American Indian. Braves, Teepee, Chief and Reservation would all be a part of the list. Also Squaw and moccasin and a few others which do not come immediately to mind. This is a difficult song to pull off because it deals with a history that some people do not want to acknowledge. This puts you in the role of teacher. With that in mind I wonder if there is not a place in the song for some more obscure vernacular. Perhaps specific to a certain tribe, region or incident. I think people are ready to learn more about this time, these people and what really did happen.

"The soldiers were 'advanc'n'" is very good. Has a historical feel and there is something creepy and double edged in the line which evokes the attitudes of both parties. The same thing happens later with "'a-pranc'n'"

The message is also quite clear that the soldiers waited until the men were away to make their move.

Best of luck with this CF and if none of this is helpful then please disregard. Work worth doing.
 
Hey Terocious....Thanks a bunch for your comments. I will give them much thought. I wrote this in Denton, Texas. Sometime in 1975ish...during the end of my visit...I needed something to read and found CENTENNIAL by Michener laying around. I found myself glued to it and ready the 3"-thick book in about 3 days. Then onto a bus back to Saratoga Springs, NY. I just remember the book really upsetting me. Big time. On the bus I was completely overwhelmed with anger. Somehow I had some paper and pen and within less that 1/2 hr the story just gushed out of me. And then this enormous peace settled inside me.

I play a tenor (4 strings Kay) guitar...always have...and the song in now sandwhiched between several other like-minded songs, with even a thread of THREE BLIND MICE now and then. Funny but it fits perfectly. So I guess now....start to finish....what I am doing is writing kind of a symphony. This is where that moment so long ago has taken me. I am a very persistant person and taking a long time at something has never been a problem with me...as long as I find it interesting. That is the key. What gives one magical energy. Anyhow, thanks again. Would love to have some help me record this. I want to add tabla...some other things. I like to say I play a style of Mexican Raga. Somehow it all fits. later...CF
 
Sounds very cool. I love it when people use things from the past rather than abuse them. A lot of folks disregard their earlier work. Dismiss it as inconsequential. Mexican Raga?!? :cool: I was always partial to the blind mice meself and from your description I can let my mind run away to a place where the song above will work as is.-b
 
I like the words but it seems more like a poem than a song......doesnt seem to have a structure and regular rhyme scheme.....I know some people throw those things out the window so if you are one , ignore my comments...... :)

good writing though......
 
Hey terocious...is that you at newstereo? I was wondering what your name was about so injected it into the net and checked this hit out for awhile. Super cool background used!!! I do a little web designing but whoever put that site together really did a great job. Gee...now I am confused. Not in my Dictionary. Maybe its the name of that bug. Could be Greek. No biggy.

Yeah...the three blind mice thing....besides fitting in perfectly with the song when being picked...I just can't help picture them scattering when being run after by the farmer's wife...then I get into the mood of these "soldiers" running after the woman and children....the very same way...scattering....running from the knife...Hm..I never thought about it in such debth before...an right there it is from the past...."She'd been raped and stabbed by a soldier's knife." Wow...that actually blows my mind. Only here in this post do I see both knives. Plus three blind mice catches for me the arrogance of it all.

You know, I took 14 years to write my second book. My writing has been on the back burner for two years now. Working on my first total novel....but just don't have the time it takes to get so absorbed. Plus, now I want to produce this song. So I am sitting here gazing upon all this computer/home recording stuff...feeling like I do when I strain to understand the Mexican Station on my cable...and strain I do since cervaasa is the only word I know.

later...........cF
 
Hey Gidge....trust me...it has super structure and it sounds fantastic.....if I could only play my guitar. The structure doesn't just come from the words....although, of course they ARE there. Originally (not meaning it is no good anymore) I would start the with the soldiers horses...the beat of their hooves...as they advanced on the village....My tenor guitar has some cool Indian-like sounds. I can hammer the strings and get a pretty decent/unique sound. Beats create the structure, also. So even though the soldier's advanc'n....the sound of their horses....even though that won't be "found" in the words...the beat is common. Repeat this throughout and what I have is an amazing sounding song that takes 30 minutes to play....shorter versions there, too.......thanks much for your comments...........Cf
 
CF,
Yeah newstereo is my big cumbersome baby. Do you know that is the first positive comment I have had on the site. thank you. Worst of the web.com got a hold of us and sent thousands who had nothing to say but terrible navigation, takes to long to load and what's the point. I worked in an independent theatre company for years until that came to an explosive but entirely natural end and then returned to songwriting. The performer in me needed some way to get the work out there which spawned the website. Terocious is actually from a dream my niece had in which she had accidentally shot herself in the foot and wanted me to take her to the hospital but would not get in the car with me until I put my pet bat terocious in the trunk.

Two knives and 28 years later... I know what you mean by straining to understand. I love that feeling though. The feeling that you are onto something. Something you may not understand or know how you will get to. "What gives one magical energy." as you said. In the theatre we did a lot of work which placed very simple or perhaps commonplace notions like the blind mice next to the big and complicated frighteningly "real" ones and I was continually surprised at how willing an audience would be to digest both side by side. Perhaps this makes a big pitcure more palaltable I am not sure but I do know that in my own songs I have continued to write in riddles which contain aspects of both. Oh and terocious may as well be the name of the bug since it is the only one of my alter egos on the website which had remained nameless. Oh the places you'll go....

Long Songs Rule!
-b
 
Hey terocious.... It wouldn't surprize me if a lot of folks out there on the Internet are still using dial-up/low speed. So they may anguish about how long their computer takes to navigate around. I am fortunate to have dsl and I didn't notice anything slow about your site. I have friends who still are on dial-up and struggle all the time...cursing the Net and hating their computer experience. I guess if all I had was a stock 1959 VW bug...I'd feel frustrated too trying to navigate around a system that is now built for modern cars.....don't get me wrong....I love classic autos and trucks. Later. CF
 
Back
Top