17 year old songwriter/producer wannabe!

T

tjorenby

New member
hey everyone,

it would be awesome if you guys could check out my work at

www.garageband.com/tylerj

I recorded it using Digi001 and am playing all the instruments as well as singing.

Lemme know what you think!
Good or Bad!

thanks alot
~tyler
P.S. "Sleepwalker" is the strongest track on there...
 
hey there. (listened to sleepwalker)

first, i would like to say that i like your voice..... however you're gonna need to practice quite a bit--a lot of times you don't hit the right notes... or at least are off pitch quite a bit. and i think you can put a little more force into your singing at the proper places.

okay... now for the mix:

1. i think the whole thing is too compressed--or too hot. all the bars on my meters light up when i play this song through the whole thing. there's almost no dynamics. ...i would like to see at least some bump when the kick hits.
2. the mix overall sounds dull. others here probably can tell you which frequencies are too loud or soft.... but i think overall you need some more high end or high midrange.... and more deep bass.
3. your voice doesn't sound quite right. not sure what exactly is wrong.... just doesn't have the right sound to it. maybe needs some more "presense." i dunno.... i guess it's just hard to understand what you're saying for various technical reasons.
4. many of the instruments need more "snap." like for instance your high-hat and drum sounds. sounds kinda boring.
5. i like the instrumentation and playing though. if it weren't for the technical reasons, i think it's a nice song. could use some work though..... perhaps a catchy'er chorus or whatever.

nice song.... but needs work to grab a person's attention.

(EDIT: i just listened to another person's "MP3" ....and it just occured to me... the dullness i was hearing might have something to do with the Real Audio format......... i used the hi-fi stream....)
 
I listened to sleepwalker a couple of times. Actually about 2 and 1/2

Sounds like a lot of todays music to me. And that's probably what you're going for. I don't know. When I hear the guitar fills at :54 and 1:15... I just think that it's someone who can't play much guitar. But I think that about a lot of today's "rock". Who knows... maybe the guitarist is a virtuoso who is just choosing to be subtile.

I think when a song runs through verses, bridges, and choruses.... and the only real difference in these is the instrumentation.... well it just gets a little old. But who am I to critize?? Just another musician with an opinion (like there's not enough of those already) :)

I'm probably being to hard on it. You've obviously got a lot of talent and at a very young age. I say go for it and rock the house!
 
Thanks for the posts guys!

-About the guitar, im actually a drummer :P so i've only begun to pick up the guitar! I started about 6 months ago. so Im being subtle because thats all I know how to do right now! haha.

I agree, I really do need to work on my vocals too. :-) it'll get there!

MY BIGGEST challenge is getting my recordings to sound good. or my mixes anyway.

Part of the reason why they're so hot is because if they arent, I dont know how to get that volume of most professional recordings.

Any suggestions on that?

THank you so much!
~Tyler Jorenby
 
I listened to Sleepwalker.

I thought it had some nice music. I had some trouble with all the lyrics. But they seemed so so. I'll say again though that the music was nice and catchy. The style of music is one that I really like. The kind that I'd turn up if it came on the car radio.

A few pitch issues with the vox, but your voice sounds good and suits the style well. The song clips a lot, there's an audible clip at 2:59 (can't tell for sure, but maybe at 1:04 too).

A little tempo issue with the drums at 3:02.

The "main" rhythm guitar part was nice. But I wasn't thrilled with the tone of it. Seemed to be lacking midrange. The rhy guitar that comes in during the second chorus has a good full sound, but it tends to dominate the other parts.

I'd suggest harmonies. A song like this practically screams for them and there are plenty of opportunities for good ones on this piece, such as the chorus.

Keep at it.
 
Sounds like a parody of all those lame bands I can't tell apart. Oh well, When I was your age all my stuff sounded like "Ride the Lightning"
 
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