1 minute of solo piano... *opinions needed*

[SEDstar]

My last piano piece didn't come out as I intended, but... there was something in it I liked... *shrugs*

I now know I can't trust my own ears when I get too tired... so i subject this to the reviewers. Its 1 minute long, a test of this new style I am thinking of adopting on piano. I *think* this one came off much better, closer to what I want, but... I figure you'll let me know.

Working title is "Scarlet Tears In C minor"

http://www.mediafire.com/?5eygni7vz2m

eh? *shrugs*

 

[up-fiddler]

I am a fan....

....of 'herky jerky' piano rhythms and this song is no exception. I understand that this is a rough starting point for you but as long as I am wasting your time I will drop my nickel in and toss out an idea or two. The heavily syncopated piano in the midrange seems to be a nice fit (Dare I say style?) for you. The minor key starting point also adds to the tension this piece generates for the listener and I assume that is your intention. I would love to see some sonic balance with a trio of cellos playing slow and smooth bass arppegios underneath this piece. It would help to tie everything together and divide the listener's attention. The piece will become quickly tiresome for the listener otherwise. Instrumentals (Good ones, anyway.) are more difficult to write in some ways than vox based songs. You need to tell a story using a far more limited vocabulary. You can't just keep repeating the same mish mash for 4 and a half minutes and expect people to listen more than a couple of times. To that end, my suggestion would be to use the piece as a repetitive chorus and write two or three different melodies to sit between the choruses. Otherwise you will need to vary your instrumentation greatly to keep our attention on the music. Doing both would be better still. (Lost in dreamy musical thought......)

 

[SEDstar]

updated the track...

Version 3... (bumped the speed a hair...)
Version 4...(added grace notes)

http://www.mediafire.com/?y92j1mrt15n


went for a very "linear" I-IV-V

fiddler, thx for the ideas of the slow low cello arpeggiations.

To try to fight "listener fatigue" Each chord change is progressively shorter version of the melody system.

Its certainly not perfect by any stretch, but I am moderately happy with it for a rough pass, I suppose. It is a MOODY little piece though, lol.

Edit: now seeing about 2 little "bridges" or "breakups" to fit between the 3 long phrases...
Edit: while "fidgeting" for little bridges, I ran across grace notes. Huh. These are just wonderul little ornaments. I used them to dress up the 2 important descensions, and when a 2 note ascension was "hanging" making for a dull spot, used them there too. Gave it a classier sound, I think. Also, on previous versions, there were Low 3rd octave D's just a-booming down there, ugh. The whole POINT was that low undermelody against the gumdrop sparkles of the overmelody... but those 3rd D's wer ejust booming. I transposed them up to the 5th or 6th D and found I could leave the rest of the undermelody line down there, they were okay.

I as moderately happy before, now positively tickled pink, LMAO. I MUST try to remember, however... that the line between "ornamentation" and "chintz" is a fine one at that, lol... now WHERE am i going to get a sheet example online of a cascading waterfall run...LMAO, or would that be over the top? hee hee, just kidding (always wanted to use one for a bridge, though...)

 

[gecko zzed]

I've been listening to your work for a while now. Sometimes they are stunning pieces (for example, The Fork), and at other times they seem like mathematical exercises.

This one is a strange combination. It possesses the analytical precision with which you endow your pieces, but it also has a curious life of its own. It has a hint of the baroque about it, specially with that change at 1 minute. The changes within the piece also remind me a bit of Keith Emerson, perhaps in a less flamboyant way.

The droney cello thing adds an element of dissonance as various notes in the melody bang up against it. I think, though, that I might like to have heard it more elevated in the mix. Towards the end it was doing some stuff that I really strained to hear.