I need Critics for my tracks

[samup4web]

I am new to music production, and I want to improve on my skills. Please kindly give me your constructive feedback. Here are 2 tracks I recently made.

Track 1:
https://soundcloud.com/idowu-sam/evening-lullaby-version-2

Track 2:
https://soundcloud.com/idowu-sam/new-waves-eq

Thanks

 

[Robus]

The first one, to be honest I'm hearing one chord progression that is repeated over and over without enough variation to keep my interest. The vocal sample, when it came in, sounded like somebody being punched in the stomach repeatedly. That snare part sounded more like a machine gun than a drum line. I don't know what to suggest. It didn't engage me.

The second was more interesting, for me. You had more variation and a better groove. Still, it's not going to hold the listener's attention for long as an instrumental. What do see these becoming? If you're doing hip hop, get a rap vocal going. If it's electronica, you might want to think about ways to keep the loops engaging by introducing fresh elements and interesting soundscapes as the tune progresses. If you see it as a traditional song genre like R&B, you need to get you busy creating vocals with verse, chorus, bridge, etc.

Just my thoughts.

 

[ido1957]

I listened to the Evening Lullaby.... The keyboards were very cool.
I found the drums too busy, sharp and snappy. A marching beat didn't seem to fit the groove. The vocals were ok but needed something - maybe bottom end. The MIX was good as far as balance and everything but the arrangement (other than the keyboards) left me wanting something else to compliment that cool vibe.

 

[samup4web]

Hi Robus,

Thank you for your detailed response.
About the chord progression, that is my laziness that made me repeated it over and over, I agree I should have varied the progressions. I will work hard to use more variations next time.
About the vocal sample, I understand it might not fit into the track (I just grabbed a sample and added it, maybe it ruined the track ). My plan is to buy a studio mic and add my own vocals to the tracks. I currently haven't done that and I just went for that sample instead. I will improve on the vocals part once I have my own mic.

About the second track. The final track isn't going to be instrumental, so I guess this still goes back to my lack of a mic. My plan goes along in line with traditional song genre like R&B. So, I will have to work on verses etc.

Once again, thanks for the feedback.

 

[samup4web]

Hi ido1957,

Thank you for your nice feedback. I agree with your thought about the drum / snare. I intend to continue working on this track. I will use a softer snare and work on better vocals once I buy myself a mic.

A quick question: What do you mean by " maybe bottom end"?

Thank you.

 

[easlern]

Sounds pretty cool man, I listened to the first one. The snare kind of got me too, it sounds a little like a typewriter. Is there a gate it on it? Maybe try without or dull the attack a little with an enveloper. I'd bring the level down on it too, but that's just my preference.

Second piece is pretty cool, I think I'd bring the lead down a bit so it sits better with the rest of the backing. Really like the water drum or whatever it is on this one, adds a lot.

 

[andrushkiwt]

honestly, i liked the snare. the piano sounds beautiful and the synth is nice as well. The beats on the kit are creative and very cool. the only thing i didn't care for was the vocal sample...the rest i could imagine a great vocal line over, though i agree that maybe a separate chord progression distinguishing the verses from the choruses would be nice...but it's not that it couldn't be done without it, that just depends on your skill as a vocal melody writer...can you change it up enough, or come up with a good enough hook, to be able to keep the same progression without the listener losing interest.

nice work

 

[samup4web]

Sounds pretty cool man, I listened to the first one. The snare kind of got me too, it sounds a little like a typewriter. Is there a gate it on it? Maybe try without or dull the attack a little with an enveloper. I'd bring the level down on it too, but that's just my preference.

Second piece is pretty cool, I think I'd bring the lead down a bit so it sits better with the rest of the backing. Really like the water drum or whatever it is on this one, adds a lot.

Thanks for sharing your opinion. As most feedback mentioned, the snare seems too harsh. I brought down the volume a bit and it seems to sound better now. For the second track, the lead will be finally replaced with a vocal recording and I hope that will give a better mix.

 

[samup4web]

honestly, i liked the snare. the piano sounds beautiful and the synth is nice as well. The beats on the kit are creative and very cool. the only thing i didn't care for was the vocal sample...the rest i could imagine a great vocal line over, though i agree that maybe a separate chord progression distinguishing the verses from the choruses would be nice...but it's not that it couldn't be done without it, that just depends on your skill as a vocal melody writer...can you change it up enough, or come up with a good enough hook, to be able to keep the same progression without the listener losing interest.

nice work

Thanks for the feedback. I tried to be creative as much as I can, thanks for appreciating it. About the vocal sample , well, let's just say I had to put "something vocal" in the track at all cost. I know it is not a best choice now, I am ordering a Rode NT1a this week and I will be doing my own voicing. I hope to do justice to the track at the end.

Thanks!