I'm a Christian rock musician. I write lots of songs, I play guitar, I play keys and I play bass. But vocals are sort of along for the ride.
For a long time, I hated my voice. And I still have my days. It's tonal quality is OK-but-not-great, but it's on pitch. Interestingly enough, I've got tons of confidence singing live, but the studio scares the crap out of me. My biggest problem is that when I record a song, I end up wishing it could sound like somebody else when I listen back.
But two people told me things that changed my life.
1. During sound checks before getting ready to sing one night, I was feeling pretty miserable about how my voice sounded. The sound guy, who is also a college vocal instructor and practically an opera-quality baritone, was having none of it.
He pulled me aside and said, "Let me tell you something. You do not have a 'great' voice. It's not opera-quality. But you need to understand something ... that is a compliment. Your voice is on pitch, it's honest as hell, and it's got BUCKETS of passion. That's what people want to hear. They can connect with you. Heck, they want to sing with you. They just get tired of me."
It was a real eye-opener for me ... as great a singer as he is, he also knows there's little to no market for his kind of singing. There's a market for honesty.
2. As we were planning my first CD (coming this summer), I was complaining (again) about my voice to my wife. Finally she said, "When are you going to realize that your VOICE is your best instrument? Not the guitar, not the keys, but your voice. Nobody else can sing your songs the way you can."
I almost lost it. My wife never says anything that specific. Usually it's the usual wife/relative thing: "You sound great." She really smacked me around.
Those two things have made me realize ... I may not be Jon Bon Jovi or Adam Lambert or Luther Vandross, but I'm the best I've got. One way or another, I just gotta make that work.
Maybe what all of us need instead of voice coaches are people who support us.