HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"
NEWBEE: "I keep singing into my new mic and nothing happens!"
HR SUPPORT: "Does the mic need phantom power?"
NEWBEE: "Need …what?"
HR SUPPORT: "Phantom power. It’s a method that sends DC (12 to 48 volts) electrical power through microphone cables to operate microphones that contain active electronic circuitry. It’s needed for powering condenser microphones, though many active DI boxes and other components also use it. It is often built into mixing desks, microphone preamps and similar equipment."
NEWBEE: "Preamps? Volts? DI Box? Mixing Desks? You mean I gotta learn all this sh*t just to lay down some killah vocals?"
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HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"
NEWBEE: "I’m trying to record my band, but every time we play it back, it sounds like ass and nothing like us! We’ve been playing together for 3 months so we know what we sound like. How do we get our recordings to sound like how we really should sound? "
HR SUPPORT: "That’s a pretty broad question… Can you give us more details? What are you using to record? What instruments? What kind of room are you recording in?"
NEWBEE: "GAWD!!! Can’t anyone just answer my question without more questions???? I got the same f*ckin responses in the Microphone, Guitar and Bass, Recording Techniques, and Drum forums!!!! Doesn’t anyone here know how to record a band??? "
HR SUPPORT: "Well first of all, we can’t help you without knowing a little more about your setup, and 2nd, it’s looked upon as poor online etiquette to cross-post."
NEWBEE: "Well I wouldn’t have to cross-post if you guys knew what the f*ck you were talking about! We need to have this CD ready by Thursday so we don’t have time to be answering a bunch of stupid questions!!!"
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HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"
NEWBEE: "I need to know where to set my compressor to sound exactly like Soulja Boy?"
HR SUPPORT: "Well, there isn’t any one particular setting to magically make things sound like other things… We can give you some basics about what each setting does and you can experiment tho… What compressor are you using?"
NEWBEE: "I’m using the C4 Multiband from the Waves Diamond Bundle."
HR SUPPORT: "Wow… Impressive! What’s your signal chain?"
NEWBEE: " My what…? "
HR SUPPORT: "How are you getting the signal into your computer (Mic, preamp, interface, etc.)?"
NEWBEE: "I just connect my Samson Go Mic to my laptop’s USB port."
HR SUPPORT: "Wait… You mean you’re using over $3000 worth of recording software and you only have a $35 Podcast mic? ....Hello? Hello??? Are you still there?"
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HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"
NEWBEE: "I’m a Producer and I need someone to tell me how to record my CD and put it on my Facebook without all the technical mumbo-jumbo"
HR SUPPORT: "Well, for starters, it might be easier to use the ‘Search’ function to see if any of your questions have already been answered."
NEWBEE: "I already did a search and couldn’t find anything but technical sh*t. I just need someone to just tell me, step by step, what I need to do."
HR SUPPORT: "Have you looked for any online tutorials that might explain…"
NEWBEE: "JEEEEZ!!! Listen, I'm not a technical person!!!! I just need you to tell me how record a CD of my songs so people will buy them!!! Is that too much to ask???"
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HR SUPPORT: "Hi, how can I help you?"
NEWBEE: "whenever I try i cant get it to say what it soppose too unLess no one else has it first then theres a few seconds before we loose it again."
HR SUPPORT:
