Kingofpain678
Returned from the dead
From what I understand, all first songs suck. Did you hear the synth abomination I posted?
Just don't give up
From what I understand, all first songs suck. Did you hear the synth abomination I posted?
Just don't give up
C
cantthinkofname
Active member
From what I understand, all first songs suck. Did you hear the synth abomination I posted?
Just don't give up
sometimes i am so frustrated trying to get it right i feel like giving up. but i won't
i think?no i didn't hear your synth song i didn't know you posted one, i'm sure it wasn't bad at all. i heard your first guitar posts and i thought those were really good, so your synth song must be good too. i'll try & find it, i'm sure it could use my expert advice
Chili
Site Moderator
Nice, but let's keep this thread about FS's song.
Cool.
Cool.
Freudian Slip
New member
i really like it alot, but sometimes i think opening songs with the political/t.v. talking speeches etc becomes really cliche because alot of people do it? i'm probably wrong but i'd take that part off myself, and i think its a little too roomy, just maybe a little too much reverb, and i like the loose feel of it but i think its just a little too loose and could be tighter. i'm not sure about the end, i kind of liked how it cut off like that, not sure why but i didn't mind it how it was.
i've never recorded a full song in my life so i can't really talk tho, i'd hate to hear anything i'd ever try lol. great song & good luck
I know what you mean about openings like that being Cliche. I think queensryche did that for us. This is the only one I have ever done so I am going to go with it
I know there are a few places I have to work in the tightness. Making the guitar parts work with delay is a bit of a pain.
F.S.
Freudian Slip
New member
Me? 40 but a young 40.
joeym
New member
Cool, very haunting, very Floyd. I felt though that it lacks a bit of dynamics. The snare has lots of space around it, it could be a bit more aggressive. And the guitar solo should be lots more prominent, kind of like in Comfortably Numb. Agree with Chili about trying to bring out the chorus more. Not bad for a work in progress.
Joey
Joey
Freudian Slip
New member
Cool, very haunting, very Floyd. I felt though that it lacks a bit of dynamics. The snare has lots of space around it, it could be a bit more aggressive. And the guitar solo should be lots more prominent, kind of like in Comfortably Numb. Agree with Chili about trying to bring out the chorus more. Not bad for a work in progress.
Joey
Thanks for listening joey.
On the drums I am going to have to retrack them. The snare mic picked up way to much cymbals so I had to toss it an go with just the overeheads and kick mic and my room is largely untreated yet, so it's far less than Ideal. I am going to have to have the drumer reposition his cymbals some and re-mic the snare and close mic the toms. If you have a spare grand you don't need I could really uses a truck load of 703.
on the dynamics everything up to now has been anti-dynamic by design although I think your right on bumping the solo's a bit. I'll have to see what I can do there.
Thanks Again.
F.S.
beatlebum
New member
I’ll start by echoing a post I read earlier on this board that said that the song is always more important than the mix and this is a really good song!
I love the way the chords for the guitar solo seem to be selected by instinct, not by reusing them from the chorus or the verse, and, as has been pointed out earlier, the solos really work and I think that shows you are well able to put a song together!
I don’t think the opening is cleche, and I don’t think you should change the vocal effect.
If I have to offer a criticism it is that while you’re right not to overdo it, don’t underdo it either.
I think the rhythm section needs more life. A bass following the kick would really ground the song and some more energy on the chorus, not least from the drums would be great.
Because verse is quite long (32 bars rather than 16) I think you could add something new on the vocals after the 16th bar – maybe a harmony or response vocal, or even just an echoe on the last word (“freedom…”)
There are timing issues in places too as I’m sure you ar aware.
As to where the song goes at the end… I’m sure you’ll find it!
I’ve enjoyed listening!
I love the way the chords for the guitar solo seem to be selected by instinct, not by reusing them from the chorus or the verse, and, as has been pointed out earlier, the solos really work and I think that shows you are well able to put a song together!
I don’t think the opening is cleche, and I don’t think you should change the vocal effect.
If I have to offer a criticism it is that while you’re right not to overdo it, don’t underdo it either.
I think the rhythm section needs more life. A bass following the kick would really ground the song and some more energy on the chorus, not least from the drums would be great.
Because verse is quite long (32 bars rather than 16) I think you could add something new on the vocals after the 16th bar – maybe a harmony or response vocal, or even just an echoe on the last word (“freedom…”)
There are timing issues in places too as I’m sure you ar aware.
As to where the song goes at the end… I’m sure you’ll find it!
I’ve enjoyed listening!
Freudian Slip
New member
Thanks man.
I'm already working on some of the Ideas you mentioned.
The timing issues I am going to have to work out by struming the solo sections differently. I already dropped the delay down quite a bit in there ant it's just not going to work. I think I am just going to have to strum it pretty straight in there. That and retracking the drums. should lick the problem.
I think I will try to liven the second verse slightly with some lead between the lyrics, then some harmonies in the second chorus. I think I have a third shortened verse that will be phrased differently and shorten the length and for that and the last chorus I think lead and harmonies will be in order.
Thanks Again
F.S.
rayc
retroreprobate
It is really good to hear a Frood toon again.
I really like your musical perspective on the world & have missed it.
I actually like the non ending.
Terrific song & an impressive work in progress.
I look forward to developments!
I really like your musical perspective on the world & have missed it.
I actually like the non ending.
Terrific song & an impressive work in progress.
I look forward to developments!
Freudian Slip
New member
Hi Ray, Hope you're doing well. Thanks for the comments. I'm hoping I will have some time to work on music more now. I am pinching pennies to get my self a control room finished. My space is pretty bad right now. Once I get the control room finished I might evem make a buck or two here and there
Thanks again
F.S.