New Song - The American Road

  • Thread starter Thread starter Chili
  • Start date Start date
I don't know. For my.. Lyrics are... well in the first 1:30 of the song the same 15 words are used over and over. Not really my thing. The bike might have been a nice addition if used in a more subtle way. It being so in your face is a little cliché.
 
Thanks for listening guys!!

TaintedDb said:
I don't know. For my.. Lyrics are... well in the first 1:30 of the song the same 15 words are used over and over.
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Yeah, this is what I was worried about and the fact that you mentioned it right away confirms it. When I said I had more to work on, this was specifically what I was talking about. Sometimes something like that works, sometimes not. Thanks for the feedback. And I don't mind the cliche part.. :)

cheers,
 
Pretty cool tune, Chili.

Mixwise, that bike track has got a huge amount of low end on it...sub 125hz stuff. It's cool as a stand alone, but when you open the tune with it, all that low end sets the stage for more, and then the rest of the tune doesn't deliver, it creates a real momentum stopping event..which aint good at the beginning of a tune.:D Tame the bottom end of that hog, or just lay a couple of db of beef on the bass tracks and the kick to balance it out.:)
I liked the guitar tracking alot...and the vocals were very well done. Overall, the mix is sweet but the hog motor just smokes the low end.
I can't address lyrics as any that I write resemble the tantrumatic rantings of a demented 9 year old child.:( Suffice it to say, they work for me.:D

Excellent feel and a good mix overall...just tame that bike.:cool:
 
Exccelent, Chili boy!

Love everyrhing!
Suggestion?
The "Harley" (fantastic sound) is too loudi n the mix , and I think a fatter snare (probably another sample)could be better.

Ciro
 
TeyshaBlue said:
Excellent feel and a good mix overall...just tame that bike.:cool:
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Thanks Teysha. I'll revisit the harley, pulling it down is easy enough.

CIRO said:
Exccelent, Chili boy!

Love everyrhing!
Suggestion?
The "Harley" (fantastic sound) is too loudi n the mix , and I think a fatter snare (probably another sample)could be better.

Ciro
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Cool Ciro, I'm glad you like it. I'll look at the snare also. :)
 
Great rockin' tune and nice guitar work, Dave!
Mix-wise, I have to say that the drums sound too much like a machine even if a tune like this needs a one, two, three, four beat. They need a bit of human touch. Voice sounds a bit too up front because it's dry, but if that's what you intended, that's cool. Very well-sung piece. I honestly don't think you even need that bike. The tune itself suggests bike-riding on that American road. Nice tune, liked it a lot!

Joey :):):):)
 
TeyshaBlue said:
Pretty cool tune, Chili.

Mixwise, that bike track has got a huge amount of low end on it...sub 125hz stuff. It's cool as a stand alone, but when you open the tune with it, all that low end sets the stage for more, and then the rest of the tune doesn't deliver, it creates a real momentum stopping event..which aint good at the beginning of a tune.:D Tame the bottom end of that hog, or just lay a couple of db of beef on the bass tracks and the kick to balance it out.:)
I liked the guitar tracking alot...and the vocals were very well done. Overall, the mix is sweet but the hog motor just smokes the low end.
I can't address lyrics as any that I write resemble the tantrumatic rantings of a demented 9 year old child.:( Suffice it to say, they work for me.:D

Excellent feel and a good mix overall...just tame that bike.:cool:
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I agree with this. The bike sucks all of the energy out of the song as it rides away. Really man, the bike is kind of corny. Just my opinion on that.

The song is a little too repetitive. It's like the whole thing is a chorus. I like the progression and melody, but it needs some changes. The recording sounds pretty good. I think the guitars could be beefier and less fuzzy. Think AC/DC style tube bite.

Overall though I think you did a pretty good job.
 
I liked the bike!

The guits, if not made 'tubier', could be panned in: there;s the center; and the wings. The mix doesn't communicate across the field. I think , that if you have any ambience, it's mashed by the hard-panned guits. the 45% areas , both sides, are empty.

And dittos on AC/DC reference. A big tubthumping snare...alone, could work wonders. An Angus sound on the comping and solos would be nice. There's just not a lot of power output on this. The most powerful instrument was the panhead Harley.

MHOFFIIWYMMV.
 
Another fan of the bike. Agree with cutting some of the low frequencies.
I also agree that the guitars could use a little more tube and less fuzz. It's a good mix though. I like the panned guitars. The bg vocals sound cool too.
Yeah, get those guitars beefed up and your good to go.
 
Hey guys, thanks much for listening and the great comments. I added another guitar track in the center, turned the gain down and the volume up. I removed the bike from the beginning and middle and kept it at the end, but edited it shorter.

Here's a 2nd version:
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=8341810

joeym said:
Great rockin' tune and nice guitar work, Dave!
Mix-wise, I have to say that the drums sound too much like a machine even if a tune like this needs a one, two, three, four beat. They need a bit of human touch. Voice sounds a bit too up front because it's dry, but if that's what you intended, that's cool. Very well-sung piece. I honestly don't think you even need that bike. The tune itself suggests bike-riding on that American road. Nice tune, liked it a lot!

Joey :):):):)
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Another vote for no bike. I redid the entire drum track, added a little slapback delay on top of vocals. Plus some verb on BG's which I didn't have before. Let me kow what yo think...

Greg_L said:
The song is a little too repetitive. It's like the whole thing is a chorus. I like the progression and melody, but it needs some changes. The recording sounds pretty good. I think the guitars could be beefier and less fuzzy. Think AC/DC style tube bite.

Overall though I think you did a pretty good job.
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Yet another No-vote on the bike. I tell ya, it wasn't corny when I had it parked in the garage and recording it. It sounded pretty frikkin awesome. But i get what you're saying here. I meant it as a gimmick, maybe one that didn't go off so well... :o I also made some major edits to break up the repetitiveness.

jeffmaher said:
I liked the bike!

The guits, if not made 'tubier', could be panned in: there;s the center; and the wings. The mix doesn't communicate across the field. I think , that if you have any ambience, it's mashed by the hard-panned guits. the 45% areas , both sides, are empty.

And dittos on AC/DC reference. A big tubthumping snare...alone, could work wonders. An Angus sound on the comping and solos would be nice. There's just not a lot of power output on this. The most powerful instrument was the panhead Harley.

MHOFFIIWYMMV.
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Hey, one vote for the bike. Cool. Jeff, I always enjoy reading your comments on people's submissions to the clinic. You put a lot of time and thought into what you say and you listen carefully. Honestly, I was a little worried with what you might say here. Whew, glad you liked it!!! :D Thanks man!! I didn't want to pan the two guitar tracks in, but I'm hoping the new centered guitar will fill the void you mentioned.

ksounds said:
Another fan of the bike. Agree with cutting some of the low frequencies.
I also agree that the guitars could use a little more tube and less fuzz. It's a good mix though. I like the panned guitars. The bg vocals sound cool too.
Yeah, get those guitars beefed up and your good to go.
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2 votes on the bike. :D Thanks for the comment on the BG vocals. Joey sent me some BG tracks for another song and I copied what he did.
 
Hi Chili, i enjoyed the song, the vocals and almost everything... being a guitar player i couldn't let pass the guitar solos... he can't play fast get, and the half way bends only add noise to the song, is better play slow with a nice melody than play fast having no idea about what you're doing, i think that you realized that because of the big delay on them. I bet that this is an improvisation, he should have a clear idea of the solo before the recording process. Please don't take it the wrong way, everything else in that song sounds great to me, and the bike sound is very cool.
And the mix is good man.
 
Funny I dont get this as classic rock...without the guitar solos and the "American road" lyric this sounds pretty contemporary to me?? id have handclaps in it...dunno why I just kept hearing them...could you do a club remix? ;)

I like it, its got a good groove hussling it along..Im on headphones just now but the mix sounds great to me and its all very tight and well performed..

didnt like to bike sound..dont think it needed it as said already, bit clichéd imho..and it sounds like a cruiser anyway "potato, potato, potato" :D

good job mate
 
Cool...another chili tune :).

It sounds good...I've heard only the 2nd mix so far, and the mix sounds pretty good. I think you could still use a little more variety in the structure and lyrics given the length though.

Vocals sound good and I can hear everything pretty clearly. I don't think the bike is a big issue. Personally, I thought it sounded cool hearing it at the end, but I found it distracting overlayed on top of the outro. The rhythmic chuffing almost sounded like those machine gun kicks you hear in some modern metal...which was kind of weird...:D
 
I liked it. I also liked the bike at the end but was disappointed it went nowhere, just like it ran out of gas. I'd keep it but record it driving away.
 
zero00 said:
Hi Chili, i enjoyed the song, the vocals and almost everything... being a guitar player i couldn't let pass the guitar solos... he can't play fast get, and the half way bends only add noise to the song, is better play slow with a nice melody than play fast having no idea about what you're doing, i think that you realized that because of the big delay on them. I bet that this is an improvisation, he should have a clear idea of the solo before the recording process. Please don't take it the wrong way, everything else in that song sounds great to me, and the bike sound is very cool.
And the mix is good man.
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Nah, not taking it the wrong way at all. I played everything on most of my tunes and I did all the guitar stuff here. I consider myself very lazy when it comes to stuff like guitar solos. For one reason, I don't feel I'm very good at them. But another is I like the spontaneity of jamming. It might not sound that great, but I love doing it. :D And if I have to plan out a guitar solo, well that's a lot of work. I have done it before, it's just... you know.... Thanks for listening and taking the time to write a comment. Truly appreciated.

kcearl said:
Funny I dont get this as classic rock...without the guitar solos and the "American road" lyric this sounds pretty contemporary to me?? id have handclaps in it...dunno why I just kept hearing them...could you do a club remix? ;)

I like it, its got a good groove hussling it along..Im on headphones just now but the mix sounds great to me and its all very tight and well performed..

didnt like to bike sound..dont think it needed it as said already, bit clichéd imho..and it sounds like a cruiser anyway "potato, potato, potato" :D

good job mate
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Handclaps?? Really?? you're a very weird person, KC!!! :eek: LOL. Thanks man, glad you liked it!!!

heatmiser said:
Cool...another chili tune :).

It sounds good...I've heard only the 2nd mix so far, and the mix sounds pretty good. I think you could still use a little more variety in the structure and lyrics given the length though.

Vocals sound good and I can hear everything pretty clearly. I don't think the bike is a big issue. Personally, I thought it sounded cool hearing it at the end, but I found it distracting overlayed on top of the outro. The rhythmic chuffing almost sounded like those machine gun kicks you hear in some modern metal...which was kind of weird...:D
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Hey Heat, thanks so much. I appreciate that you and Tainted mentioned the lyrics, but I just don't know what I want to do about that. Any help would be very cool. I've gotten comments elsewhere and some say the lyrics are fine as is, others say it's too sparse and repetitive.

dodgeaspen said:
I liked it. I also liked the bike at the end but was disappointed it went nowhere, just like it ran out of gas. I'd keep it but record it driving away.
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Ha ha, yeah, guess you listened to the 2nd version. The 1st version starts with it starting up, driving away, etc., then shutting down at the end. I just kept the last part on the 2nd version. But yeah, driving away would be a better way to end the song. Thanks Dodge!!
 
Nice! I like the pop-rock feel. The motorcycle sound was pretty cool, but maybe a little loud. Is that your motorcycle?
 
JonPaulP said:
Nice! I like the pop-rock feel. The motorcycle sound was pretty cool, but maybe a little loud. Is that your motorcycle?
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Thank you very much, JP. Yep, that's my Harley with Screamin Eagle exhaust. They're supposed to be loud!!! :D
 
Sounds great now Dave! You worked on those drums, didn't you? They sound a lot more human now. Wonderful road groove in this tune and nice solos. Guitars sound beautifully crunchy. Great to hear the bike fading the song out, it's much more effective and a lot less cliche. So, off you go ridin' into the sunset....!:D

Joey :):):):)
 
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