When the Reaper Calls

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I was not in writing mode, but this one came to me while driving to work a couple of days ago while I was singing nonsense to myself. I finished writing it later the same day. Maybe it is nonsense! :-)

Anyway, nonsense or not, full demo soon... :-)

This one has more of a rock edge to it than most of my other material.

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.3, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.3
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
Into the great beyond
She's an enduring angel
But she steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
Still she stabs at me
With her blades of love

CH
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
As we harvest what we've sown
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
If her love can save my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
I now confess my sins
I have worshipped her
No sense in going on
She would banish me
unto the grave below
It's an unending circle
Where she leads me on
Her heart is frozen steel
She's an angel's guide
In the Hell of love

(repeat CH)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
But there's no hope to win

(repeat CH through fade)
 
Hey Joe

I think the first 4 lines of the Ch seem clumsy and could go, they make the next 4 and the tag line weaker. Starting with the day by day, night by night - works really well.

The second verse lacks clarity of the first and (again first 4 lines weaker than the last IMHO).

The Bridge seems fine, but you always need the context of the melody to truly judge that. My only feeling it is a reiteration of the general theme not a movement away from it, but this could be sort by the tune.

Looking forward to listening

Burt
 
Whatmysay said:
Hey Joe

I think the first 4 lines of the Ch seem clumsy and could go, they make the next 4 and the tag line weaker. Starting with the day by day, night by night - works really well.

The second verse lacks clarity of the first and (again first 4 lines weaker than the last IMHO).

The Bridge seems fine, but you always need the context of the melody to truly judge that. My only feeling it is a reiteration of the general theme not a movement away from it, but this could be sort by the tune.

Looking forward to listening

Burt
Click to expand...

Hi Burt! Thank you for your insights and good feedback, as always! Good ideas, my friend!

Hopefully, the chorus would come across better in the context of the scenes from an imagined video. Let me try to frame it...

A distraught, lovelorn, good-looking, and wealthy man is tracing back his life and recounting his unhappiness over years of solitude.

In a misty cloud into the past, he goes backs and sees himself 25 years earlier at a school dance where he and his friends began to form relationships with the girls they liked. Everything is smiles and sunshine, as one would expect.

Two-by-two the couples pair up

---

The next scene is much darker and races quickly forward through a blaze of petty couple-fights where everyone is a young adult now. In each scene, one person throws up their hands and walks away, leaving the other one behind in tears...

One-by-one each heart is broken

---

The next scene is at night where the storyline guy, now in business attire and in the present, is standing alone and leaning back against a brick wall outside his office suite. He faces up to Heaven with his eyes closed, and sings the following line in a resigned way...

In the end what does it matter

---

Now, a quick flash to another part of town in a red light district where a very pretty, but disheveled prostitute (the storyline girl/woman) is leaning back against a brick wall with the glow of a red light pulsing on a close-up of her tear-stained face, as she faces heaven with her closed eyes.

As we harvest what we've sown

---

The next scene is of the well-dressed guy, sitting in his business office amid plush surroundings, living a life of comfort that masks his personal sadness. He leans back in his executive chair and clasps his hands behind his head as he stares sadly at a picture on his desk of the smiling, happy woman (the prostitute from the scene before) taken 20 years earlier.

Day-by-day I live to hold her

---

It's now night again. The man is laying on his back in the middle of a large bed with his hands clasp behind his head as he faces the ceiling with his eyes closed and sings...

Night-by-night I sleep without her

---

Across town, the tired, disheveled prostitute stumbles through a smoky bar, surrounded by filth and squalor, as she looks for a John to service in exchange for food and her next crack fix.

In the end what does it matter

---

The man, in a business suit, but without a tie, is standing alone in broad daylight on the precipice of a large cliff, a la the Grand Canyon. His eyes are open and he faces Heaven. His luxury car is parked a few meters behind him with the driver's-side door still opened and the engine still running. He closes his eyes and leans forward (the scene flashes away at the last second as he leans forward, but everyone knows what happened)...

If her love can save my soul

---

The previous scene quickly flashes to a dreary room where the prostitute is laying across a bed, sideways, and alone. She has a single tear rolling down her face from a mascara-smeared eye. The camara pans back to reveal a razor blade in one of her hands and a large pool of blood beside her other wrist as she loses consciouness...

When the reaper calls

---

Any thoughts?

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Last edited:
Joseph

You have a strong visual Imagination and I have seen that throughout the lyrics you have presented on this forum. My only contestation is that I do not get this rich imagery in the lyrics you have provided.

Now in this crazy post-modernist pro-sumer world there is no reason why you should not tether your song to a video – with the label ‘best enjoyed with accompanying visual stimulus’ – but all I would say is your CH storyboard above is far more engaging than the lyrics that go with it.

Is there somewhere in between the strong explicit narrative in your mind and the less direct lyrics. Not that there has to be, but listening to a story in a song or watch it in a film I need to connect with it. Often this is through chronology of events (including flashbacks) and familiar conventions of genre.

The video scenario is very engaging; the song Ch with the video accompaniment is even more interesting (combining the literal images with the metaphoric lyrics). The song Ch by itself lacks clarity and drive.

Two-by-two and One-by-one of the first 4 lines makes Day-by-day and Night-by-night of the second 4 lines seem repetitive. Alone Night-by-night becomes an interesting surprise/variation on Day-by-day. “As we harvest what we've sown” is a bit of an overused metaphor and weakens “When the reaper calls”. Alone “When the reaper calls” suggests more interesting possibilities and implies that something has already been sown, without stating it. Less is more.

HTH

Burt
 
Whatmysay said:
Joseph

You have a strong visual Imagination and I have seen that throughout the lyrics you have presented on this forum. My only contestation is that I do not get this rich imagery in the lyrics you have provided.

Now in this crazy post-modernist pro-sumer world there is no reason why you should not tether your song to a video – with the label ‘best enjoyed with accompanying visual stimulus’ – but all I would say is your CH storyboard above is far more engaging than the lyrics that go with it.

Is there somewhere in between the strong explicit narrative in your mind and the less direct lyrics. Not that there has to be, but listening to a story in a song or watch it in a film I need to connect with it. Often this is through chronology of events (including flashbacks) and familiar conventions of genre.

The video scenario is very engaging; the song Ch with the video accompaniment is even more interesting (combining the literal images with the metaphoric lyrics). The song Ch by itself lacks clarity and drive.

Two-by-two and One-by-one of the first 4 lines makes Day-by-day and Night-by-night of the second 4 lines seem repetitive. Alone Night-by-night becomes an interesting surprise/variation on Day-by-day. “As we harvest what we've sown” is a bit of an overused metaphor and weakens “When the reaper calls”. Alone “When the reaper calls” suggests more interesting possibilities and implies that something has already been sown, without stating it. Less is more.

HTH

Burt
Click to expand...

Thank you, Burt. Your points are well-taken.

Instead of "As we harvest what we've sown", what about one of these:

"We become the things we scorn"

"If we fall for what is gone"

"When we fall for what is gone"

"If we die for what is gone"

"When we die for what is gone"

"If we face the end alone"

"When we face the end alone"

Personally, I like:

In the end what does it matter
If we fall for what is gone

This fits the tempo and meter slightly better than the "harvest" line too, and it supports the storyline more.

I really respect your other ides too, but I'm finding it hard for me to let go of the two-by-two, one-by-one, day-by-day, night-by-night connections. Those were my favorite lines, but I'll try! :-)

Thanks again, Burt.

BTW, when can we look forward to some new material from you?

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Like either

"We become the things we scorn"

"If we fall for what is gone"

much better.

Stick with it Joseph, you've got the whole piece in your head and that often gives the writer the continuity that isn't realised in the lyrics alone. I look forward to hearing it when its done.

I just posted up yesterday a song I wrote over the summer but had only just had the chance to record.

Into the Bleak

I would value your input on both song and recording

Burt
 
Whatmysay said:
Like either

"We become the things we scorn"

"If we fall for what is gone"

much better.

Stick with it Joseph, you've got the whole piece in your head and that often gives the writer the continuity that isn't realised in the lyrics alone. I look forward to hearing it when its done.

I just posted up yesterday a song I wrote over the summer but had only just had the chance to record.

Into the Bleak

I would value your input on both song and recording

Burt
Click to expand...

Thanks for your ideas and support, Burt. I will definitely listen to your song tomorrow and send feedback. It is very late in the U.S. and I'm off to bed. I look forward to hearing your song tomorrow when I can give it my full attention in an awake state! I like that title already!

Cheers,
Joseph
 
Here is an update with some changes, including one line that Burt inspired me to rewrite. The new parts in parentheses at the end of the verses will blend quickly into the chorus.

------------------

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.7, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.7
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
into the great beyond
She's such a priceless angel
Her body steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
still she stabs at me
With her blades of love
(she taught me)

CH
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If we die for what is gone
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
If her love can save my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
I now confess my sins
I have worshipped her (before God)
No sense in going on
She would banish me
into the grave below
It's an unending circle
where she leads me on
Her heart's an angel's shame
on the devil's ride
in the hell of love
(I've learned that)

(repeat CH)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
but there's no hope to win

(repeat CH through fade)
 
yet another rewrite

latest...

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.7, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.7
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
into the great beyond
She's a priceless angel
but she steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
still she stabs at me
With her blades of love
(she taught me)

CH1
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If we fall for what is gone
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
If her love can save my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
I now confess my sins
I have worshipped her (before God)
No sense in going on
She would banish me
into the grave below
It's an unending circle
where she leads me on
Her heart is sold in shame
She's the devil's ride
in the hell of love
(I've learned that)

(repeat CH1)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
but there's no hope to win

(repeat CH1 once, then CH2 through fade)

CH2
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If we die for what we've lost
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
If her love can save my soul

(repeat CH2 through fade)
 
Last edited:
still working on this one...

After making a basic vocal guide, I have been practicing this one for the last week or so while driving around. That led to more changes in the lyrics.

In truth, I really should be working on a paper I am presenting at a few conferences next spring, but songwriting is fun and compelling! Hopefully, I can finish the demo soon and get back to my paper! :-)

The most recent lines that changed are in red...

----------

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.7, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.7
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
into the great beyond
She's a priceless angel
the one who steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
still she stabs at me
With her blades of love
(she taught me)

CH1
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I fall for what is gone
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
Does faith absolve the sin
of how I worship her
No sense in going on
She would banish me
into the grave below
In her deceitful nightmare
where she denies my love
Her body's sold in shame
She's the devil's ride
in a hell on earth
(I've learned that)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
but there's no hope to win

CH2
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I die for what I've lost
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
 
I modified the lyrics yet again. I'm just about finished with the demo vox.

This is a song about a guy who loses his former love to prostitution. He goes on to become a wealthy man, but he still loves her and contemplates suicide because he cannot have her.

The woman's life as a whore spirals into a living hell over many years. She hates herself and her life. She ultimately becomes suicidal too.

Here is a pre-demo of the chorus just to test the mix. If the mix sounds okay to you guys (as a rough demo), I'll mix down the rest.

http://www.box.net/shared/5kv7k65e3t

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.7, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.7
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
into the great beyond
She's a priceless angel
the one who steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
still she stabs at me
With her blades of love
(she taught me)

CH1
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I fall for what is gone
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
Will faith absolve the sin
of how I worship her
No sense in going on
She would banish me
into the grave below
She's a tease who binds me
as she denies my love
Her body's sold in shame
She's the devil's ride
in her hell on earth
(I've learned that)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
but there's no hope to win

CH2
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I die for what I've lost
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
 
full demo finished

I finally finished the full demo for this track. Any feedback welcomed!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=787980&songID=8219852

Final lyrics...

When the Reaper Calls

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with Jamstudio.com 2.7, Acoustica Mixcraft 4.5, and Audacity 1.3
Produced by Joseph Spain
CD: Betrayal
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2009

V1
I have learned the message
Memorized her words
No sense in suicide
She would follow me
into the great beyond
She's a priceless angel
the one who steers me wrong
My heart is borderline
still she stabs at me
With her blades of love
(she taught me)

CH1
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I fall for what is gone
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
When the reaper calls

V2
Will faith absolve the sin
of how I worship her
No sense in going on
She would banish me
into the grave below
She's a tease who I need
but she denies my love
Her body's sold in shame
She's the devil's ride
in her hell on earth
(I've learned that)

BR
There's only one more chance
It always comes again
There's hope in hanging on
but there's no hope to win

CH2
Two-by-two the couples pair up
One-by-one each heart is broken
In the end what does it matter
If I die for what I've lost
Day-by-day I live to hold her
Night-by-night I sleep without her
In the end what does it matter
For her love I'd sell my soul
 
Another winner, Joseph!! Very catchy melody, especially when you hit the title at the end of the chorus.

Nice work.

-Mike
 
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