Crap Ass Busy....

[up-fiddler]

....is when inspiration always slaps me. I have WAY TOO MUCH going on right now to give any time to my own music but slapped this one out QAD tonight. It is written for a friend. Two mics, one take, crap in a box production wise but you get the idea. You may hear it here.


For You
c.Dave Morehouse 2009
I
Missed your call last night
Something wasn’t right
With the world again.

You
Watched all the while it seemed
That you had let your dream
Slip away from your hand.

But you never know
No, you never know.
Why things happen the way they do
What you have lost
Will bring the joy
That we all know is long overdue
For you.

I
Am glad I made this call
And helped to place the ball
Back into your court.

You
Are back up on your feet.
You finally pressed DELETE
On that section of life.

But you never know
No, you never know.
Why things happen the way that they do
What you have lost
Will bring the joy
That we all know is long overdue
For you.

Bridge
Deep inside you cry once in a while.
Tears will show through the bravest of smiles.
Your heart is now safe on the shelf
But you can’t hide it away from yourself.

Chs to end.

 

[gecko zzed]

Very brief comments;

Lyrics are fine

Melody line for verse is particularly nice

Falsetto thing is cool . . . very Mike Nesmith.

Song structure is fine

But the bridge seems a bit rambly . . . not quite as 'together' as the rest of the song.

 

[jjnotjayjay]

....is when inspiration always slaps me. I have WAY TOO MUCH going on right now to give any time to my own music but slapped this one out QAD tonight. It is written for a friend. Two mics, one take, crap in a box production wise but you get the idea. You may hear it here.


For You
c.Dave Morehouse 2009
I
Missed your call last night
Something wasn’t right
With the world again.

You
Watched all the while it seemed
That you had let your dream
Slip away from your hand.

But you never know
No, you never know.
Why things happen the way they do
What you have lost
Will bring the joy
That we all know is long overdue
For you.

I
Am glad I made this call
And helped to place the ball
Back into your court.

You
Are back up on your feet.
You finally pressed DELETE
On that section of life.

But you never know
No, you never know.
Why things happen the way that they do
What you have lost
Will bring the joy
That we all know is long overdue
For you.

Bridge
Deep inside you cry once in a while.
Tears will show through the bravest of smiles.
Your heart is now safe on the shelf
But you can’t hide it away from yourself.

Chs to end.

I love your voice! It's very expressive and unique.

The lyrics are very nice as well, a couple metaphors seem a little out of place, but it may just be me. The ending phrases of the chorus seem to ramble just a little bit, and while this my opinion, the "you finally pressed delete / on that section of your life" seemed a little awkward to me.

I think the line "your heart is now safe on the shelf" could be better phrased, possibly "your heart is safe up on the shelf"?

All things considered, it's a great song. Love the guitar line through the verses!

 

[jdblessing1970]

I'm actually a bit relieved after reading the post. From the subject line, I thought you had written a song called "Crap Ass Busy." I wasn't REALLY sure that'd be my type of song! lol

 

[icystorm]

I think the line "your heart is now safe on the shelf" could be better phrased, possibly "your heart is safe up on the shelf"?/QUOTE]

Perhaps "your heart is safely on my shelf".

BTW, I like the song, Dave.

I hope your work slows soon so you can get back to creating music.

Cheers,
Joseph

 

[rayc]

Good song - it does need Roy Orbison & his arranger/producer to milk it to the max.
I don't know if you had Roy in mind but wow, imagine the result!
Elvis Costello wrote a song for him called These Comedians - he recorded it himself & I couldn't hear anything in it but with Roy - Oh Boy!
Your song, however, works already in this form - it's just that the cadence & cascade is all BIG production 60's in my head.
Lovely work mate!

 

[up-fiddler]

Rayc, geck, jj, Joseph, Jeff - Thanks much for your kind words. Life is crazy until the 20th of the month or so. After that it will only be busy. The heart line and the bridge were both troublesome areas for me and your observations here seem to agree. I will rework them while I am on the road this month. Ray - I hadn't thought of a 60s retro wall. Now I am intrigued and thinking along a different line. Thanks.

 

[ido1957]

Good song - it does need Roy Orbison & his arranger/producer to milk it to the max.
I don't know if you had Roy in mind but wow, imagine the result!
Elvis Costello wrote a song for him called These Comedians - he recorded it himself & I couldn't hear anything in it but with Roy - Oh Boy!
Your song, however, works already in this form - it's just that the cadence & cascade is all BIG production 60's in my head.
Lovely work mate!

Ray - you hit the nail on the head here. This is classic Orbison. Once again we find a perfect match for a classic artist to record.... Great tune Dave!