First Post in Clinic in a Long Time

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Chili

Chili

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Haven't really had a good space for recording in a year. Still don't, but I managed to do this one. It's still a work in progress... not quite sure where I'm going to take it. Maybe add some pads and/or other swelling types synths. Suggestions would be helpful.

The song is called Mona Passage. A stretch of water between Hispanola and Puerto Rico with a bad reputation for sailors. I've been through many times on a sub, but at more than 200ft underwater, you don't feel a thing. :D

All comments welcomed and appreciated.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7484336


Thanks much,
 
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I like the lyrics . . . but then I have a fascination for things maritime.

There is a restful tranquility about this track that I really like . . . it just floats along nicely.

You've picked a challenging melody for the chorus . . . the temptation would have been to continue with the E D A sequence of notes all the way through. I commend your bravery.

The vocal quality is great, and I like the way you've sung the song.

But . . .

The lead guitar . . . it's like a fly buzzing around my head, and I want to swat it away. The guitar tone is okay, and the playing is heading to the right musical direction . . . it's just that there is too much of it, and it kind of just noodles along with the song.

So . . .

keep what you've got so far, but see if you can moderate the guitar lead . . . aiming for sparseness and simplicity, maybe just replicating the melody line. Think of it as one lone gull instead of a flock of squawking ones.

As for pads and swelling synths . . . yes . . . that would be good . . . some sound that evolves over time . . . it can be atonal and doesn't need to follow the structure. But . . . there is a fair amount of reverb filling out the landscape, so it might be difficult to find a place for the synth.

Great song!!
 
Well done. Very stylish, I like the song. Dig the spanish percussion in the back.

The lead guitar . . . it's like a fly buzzing around my head, and I want to swat it away. The guitar tone is okay, and the playing is heading to the right musical direction . . . it's just that there is too much of it, and it kind of just noodles along with the song.
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I didnt feel that way, I enjoyed it. The instrumental interludes might be a tad too long, but I thought the solos were stylistically appropriate for the music.:cool:
 
I'm diggin' the nice jazz guitar tone, as well as the playing. To me it makes the song. Really like the percussion. It fits with the guitar very well. I would agree, there doesn't seem to be much room for any other instruments. There's a couple places where you could add in a touch of mandolin, believe it or not. I understand it's got a latin feel, but that's what I hear. Really.
 
I noticed the support for the guitar, which means I'm outnumbered.

My comments were that I liked the guitar sound, and I liked where it was going . . . and I also think it is appropriate for the song . . .so there's no disagreement there. I just think there's too much of it.

I'm willing to put money where my mouth is.

If Chili is happy to send me an MP3 of the track without lead . . . I will stick some guitar on to see if I can demonstrate what I mean.
 
Very nice tune, Dave! :)
Very jazzy, great swelling mood, nice guitar work. Nice voice you've got. I would sink the voice a little bit back in the mix, sounds a bit louder than everything else. Also I like the percussions a lot but they sound very faint and could take some more presence. Bet this is something you love to hear while sailing! Well done!

Joe :):):):)
 
Hey guys, thanks much for the nice words. I failed to mention before that this is a headphone mix. I don't have monitors connected, nor would they sound good at the moment if I did. But soon.....

gecko zzed said:
The lead guitar . . . it's like a fly buzzing around my head, and I want to swat it away. The guitar tone is okay, and the playing is heading to the right musical direction . . . it's just that there is too much of it, and it kind of just noodles along with the song.
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I heard this advice before on some of my other songs. And I agree mostly, that it can be too much. I don't know why I always go back to an underlying counter-melody that doesn't work. :) Part of the reason is the song is so sparse. Believe it or not, if I took away the lead guitar during verses I would only have one guitar part, bass, percussion and vox. However, it's easy to fade the guitar out and bring it back in for fills.

Thanks for the insightful critique.

DavidK said:
Well done....

...I didnt feel that way, I enjoyed it. The instrumental interludes might be a tad too long, but I thought the solos were stylistically appropriate for the music.:cool:
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See??? This is why I'm on the fence with the lead, but i can work with it and reach a happy medium. Thanks so much. I totally respect your work and for you to tell me Well Done is a great compliment!! Thanks.

guitar zero said:
I'm diggin' the nice jazz guitar tone, as well as the playing. To me it makes the song. Really like the percussion. It fits with the guitar very well. I would agree, there doesn't seem to be much room for any other instruments. There's a couple places where you could add in a touch of mandolin, believe it or not. I understand it's got a latin feel, but that's what I hear. Really.
Click to expand...

Thanks man. I'll admit, the guitar tone is an RP150 modeler. I find something close and then tweak to get what I want. More like stumble upon something that sounds cool. :rolleyes:

gecko zzed said:
I noticed the support for the guitar, which means I'm outnumbered.
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LOL, it's not a contest. All comments are welcome. :)

I'm willing to put money where my mouth is.

If Chili is happy to send me an MP3 of the track without lead . . . I will stick some guitar on to see if I can demonstrate what I mean
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Sure, I can do that. With pleasure. Look for a PM later today.

joeym said:
Very nice tune, Dave! :)
Very jazzy, great swelling mood, nice guitar work. Nice voice you've got. I would sink the voice a little bit back in the mix, sounds a bit louder than everything else. Also I like the percussions a lot but they sound very faint and could take some more presence. Bet this is something you love to hear while sailing! Well done!

Joe :):):):)
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Wow, thanks for the nice words, Joey. I never thought my voice was great (and have samples to prove it!!) but I enjoyed this song and I think it got a good take out of me.


I wish I was sailing... The boat is 1500 miles away and for sale. :(

Thanks again... I'll work on this later today... for now it's back to building the new studio.

peace.
 
Hey everyone, I made some changes based on the recommendations here. I really like the way it came out. Same link as in first post. Let me know what you all think!

GZ, I sent you a PM. Please feel free to post your version in this thread.

Thanks again.
 
I'm in 50/50 land re the licks. Mostly I'm happy but on a couple of occasions it seems forced & intrusive or the licks don't quite work.
Very nice recording, performance & mix.
If you get a chance search for Sounds of Then by Gangajang it has some amazing noodling that becomes integral to the song.
 
Yeah, I get where you were taking it. It's quite the contrast from what I did and it puts a completely different feel to the song. Your controlled subdued approach verses my let loose and wander approach. I think it goes to show there's a thousand different interpretations of the song. All work well.

At first I felt it wasn't enough in the intro, then it slowly built to the first solo part. Then, by the 2nd solo part, I was lovin' it. I'm anxious to see what others feel.

On a side note, you'll notice I put some spoken parts in. I originally had my wife say some stuff in spanish, but it just didn't fit the song. So I put something in myself in two different spots. That's the copy you got. I have since removed one of them and kept the one at the very end. I'm curious what everyone feels about that little addition. Is it too gimmicky??

Thanks and peace.
 
There are countless interpreations one can do of a song. None is necessarily better than the other . . . they are just different paths to a destination.

The little vocal spoken bits are great. I would keep them.
 
Hey Chili,I love this!
I'm really digging the open sparse laid back sound.Relaxing,it would go great with a margarita on the deck.(if it wasn't 40 outside:()
 
rayc said:
I'm in 50/50 land re the licks. Mostly I'm happy but on a couple of occasions it seems forced & intrusive or the licks don't quite work.
Very nice recording, performance & mix.
If you get a chance search for Sounds of Then by Gangajang it has some amazing noodling that becomes integral to the song.
Click to expand...

Thanks man. And thanks for listening and taking the time to comment, Ray!!

gecko zzed said:
There are countless interpreations one can do of a song. None is necessarily better than the other . . . they are just different paths to a destination.

The little vocal spoken bits are great. I would keep them.
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Yeah, I took one out and left the last one in. I still might fiddle with it some more.

acidrock said:
Hey Chili,I love this!
I'm really digging the open sparse laid back sound.Relaxing,it would go great with a margarita on the deck.(if it wasn't 40 outside:()
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Dude!! Thanks man. If you're having a frozen margarita why would the temp stop you from enjoying it on the deck?? Hey, did you know that Margarita is spanish for Daisy?? I didn't know that until a few days ago. Another little nugget of useless trivia.... :)
 
Nice piece.

Like the moode of the tune and the soundscape in general.
Makes it timesless.

Well recorded, clean and proper mix:)
 
Hey Chili - nice! I have to listen on laptop speakers, because I'm still moving, and it'll be some time before I get my studio equipment hooked back up.

I think the vocal (which is very nice) is a little too up front also - I love the percussion, and the guitar licks work for me (I'm only listening to your second version, and I haven't heard Gecko's other version -- will soon.
 
Yes, it seems like it has been a long time...:).

This sounds great. Crystal clear. I am with chef on the above comments. I hear the vox as being a bit too up front, but I too really like the percussion on this.

Super mellow and relaxing...

I kind of like where gecko is going with his melodies (I listened to both versions)...a little more restrained and focused, but not as animated. Both work I guess...pretty smooth either way :D:cool:.
 
Hey Nakatira, A/C and Heat, thanks for the listen and comments. I'll revisit the mix after I finish the studio and get the monitors hooked up. I pulled the vocals back after the first round, maybe need to bring them a little more.

For the percussion, I used ezdrummer's latin pack. They sound great and I had to do very little editing with them.

Thanks guys!!! :)
 
Chilli, Just got around to listening to this. Great song man. I actually really liked the guitar in the background, I think it works because its almost in passing--kind of mood setting ambient type stuff. Very fitting. By reading the comments before I listened I imagined a 4 minute wank fest on the guitar lol, but seriously its good. Maybe take the vocals back just a tad, but really it works for me as is. congrats.
James
 
didgijimmy said:
Chilli, Just got around to listening to this. Great song man. I actually really liked the guitar in the background, I think it works because its almost in passing--kind of mood setting ambient type stuff. Very fitting. By reading the comments before I listened I imagined a 4 minute wank fest on the guitar lol, but seriously its good. Maybe take the vocals back just a tad, but really it works for me as is. congrats.
James
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Thanks so much for listening and the kind words. I gotta say, I really enjoyed this song and it was one of those where I rushed to the guitar and DAW to capture it before I lost the idea.

Thanks again, James.
 
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