Well it's about song writing isn't it? Here's another one?

W

Walktausha

New member
I hope to get some feedback on these, am I putting too many out there or yall just don't like country music??? Let me know, I'm a full grow'd man. I can take it !!

Waiting For Your Love

D.........................A...........................D
Waiting on your love to come back again
D....................................................................A
When I could feel that feelin' from way back when
G.................................................D..............................
We used to talk for hours and I wished it'd never end
D.........................A............................D
Waiting on your love to come back again

D...........................A..................D
Just watching the sky light up again
D.........................................................A
Like when we started out as two old friends
G......................................................D
Oh where is the love that we had to give
D..........................A...........................D
Waiting for your love to come back again

G.....................................
Don't it make you wonder
D...............................
Why we are even here
E7..................................
We should still be in love
E7..........A7....................A
It's that thing that never ends

D........................A.....................D
I've tried to light up that flame again
D..........................................................A
But somehow it just dies out with the wind
G........................................D............................
Have we gone so far we can't get back again
D................................A...........................D
Just waiting for your love to come back again

Yeah,don't it make you wonder
Why we're even here
We should still be in love
It's not supposed to end

G.......................................D...........................
Have we gone too far or should we let it end
D.......................................A...........................D..
Or keep waiting for your love to come back again (Repeat last line for tag) end.

So what do ya think? No. Maybe. Or Trash it?
Thanks again!!!
 
When you have a line that asks a question or makes a negative statement, a minor chord helps to shift it into a slightly different mode, kind of makes it stand out and gives the listener a chance to think about what the line says. Subtile changes send messages (subliminal) which the brain converts to images or emotions and give a song more impact on the listener. When a song makes a person think, even for a fraction of a second, the song will stick with them.
 
I would stay away from phrases involving the old cliche's. Stuff like lighting flames and wind. You use the 'lighting' image twice, which I personally don't like.

I also feel that you are having difficulty communicating what you are actually feeling. Some context for the song would not go a miss. The lyrics really need to be 'grounded'.

Where are you waiting for her love to come back from? Why are you waiting? In the fade out section at the end, you are asking whether you have 'gone too far'.... From what? What have you done? In the earlier verses the writer is not with the girl, and there is no middle transition to suggest there is any meeting.

You are also not using the verses to their full capability. This is where you should be giving the background of the characters. What has happened between them? What has caused the split? What made them unhappy?

When you have built the verses, you can use the chorus to provide the 'focal point' of the song. It could be a twist or refrain from the feeling of the verses or simply a reinforcement of your sentiments.

A soundclip in this forum also helps a lot. It's impossible to tell whether the song is any good just from the lyrics.

Good luck with it!
 
Well,let's see......"difficuty communicating what you're actually feeling" Waiting for love to come back in to a relationship and trying to regain that lost love is all through the song. I don't see the miss. Also "needs to be grounded", there's history in the fact that there was love there that's now gone, they started out as two old friends,and now where's the love that we had to give,(looking for love that "was" there)."background of the characters. What has happened between them? What has caused the split? What made them unhappy?" To try and pin-point all these areas I'd have to write a book, so, since you only have about 3-4 minutes to get a song sung, why not let the guy sittn' there at the bar fit this into whatever has happened to him. He would already know the situation. A blanket drinking song. Are we closer to the same page?
Yeah a clip would be a good thing, right now it's beyond my current capabilities, that's why the chords. Perhaps you could get a better feel for the song if you kept the style of ....say.....Vern Gosden..in mind, provided you know who that is. I assume too much at times I guess. I still think that the whole world knows country music I guess.
Thanks for the thoughts, I'll delve deeper into it and see if I find a new "light" to put on it!!

Walktausha
 
I agree with the last couple posts. You need to find a focal point and fine tune just what you're singing about. There's 18 and a half billion songs about breaking up or being in love....to make yours different from the others, you need to stay away from cliches and try to look at your particular circumstance in a different point of view. Consider those lyrics first draft and try to go somewhere with them. If nothing comes out of it...hell, try a total different subject matter to go with your chords. These words are probably not the only ones floating around in your mind. Find the right ones whatever way it takes. A less broad subject may make things easier to talk about and describe.
 
Thanks for the imput I'm beginning to see the light. I'm slow but I get there.
Color and direction that's what it needs for sure. re-writes' in the future.
Thanks again for the help!!


Walktausha.
 
Maybe if you laid down a couple rough tracks, we'd have a better idea.

Forget the minor chord. Just put in some pop synth Shania Twain stuff. And maybe a Canadian flag. That's new country, man. Of course, it would help if you recorded and distributed all of that from your big home in Switzerland or some such place. :P J/K.
 
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