Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst ... 2 3 4
Results 31 to 40 of 40

Thread: I have lyrics to offer and would love a collaboration

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Location
    Cardiff,Wales
    Age
    71
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    Sign in to disable this ad
    motterpaul
    Your advice may work for your songs, but I couldn't and wouldn't use those lyrics of yours. It really depends on what sort of song you have in mind. I sometimes write songs in the Beatles style, so I write appropriate lyrics. There are no rules - if there were then every song would sound similar.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Denver, CO
    Age
    51
    Posts
    19,789
    Thanks
    1,044
    Thanked 755 Times in 676 Posts
    Rep Power
    21474865
    When did a song need to have rhyming lyrics? Oh yeah, many pop songs that young children can associate with... LOL!

    There is no right or wrong. One generation might consider 'I Am The Walrus' an awesome lyric. I actually do, even though I am not really a Beatles fan.

    I am he as you are he as you are me
    And we are all together
    See how they run like pigs from a gun
    See how they fly
    I'm crying
    Sitting on a corn flake
    Waiting for the van to come
    Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
    Man you've been a naughty boy
    You let your face grow long
    I am the egg man
    They are the egg men
    I am the walrus
    Goo goo g'joob
    Mister City policeman sitting
    Pretty little policemen in a row
    See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
    I'm crying, I'm crying
    I'm crying, I'm crying
    Yellow matter custard
    Dripping from a dead dog's eye
    Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess
    Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
    I am the egg man
    They are the egg men
    I am the walrus
    Goo goo g'joob


    There is no rhyming structure there, yet the song has some meaning right? And no racial or gangsta subtleties.

    I find that the best written lyrics that get to my soul, are ones that are not direct in the premise. Ones that allow the listener to interject their own personal take on what the lyrics mean.

    Vagueness is a virtue when writing.

    Or just smack hoes and smoke blunts. Seems to be a market for that for some weird reason...
    PC Win7-64-24G i7-4790k/Cubase 10 Pro 64-bit/2-Steinberg UR824's/ADAM A7x/Event TR8/SS Trigger Plat Deluxe/Melodyne 4 Studio/Other things that don't mean anything if a client shows up not knowing what it wants.

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Location
    Cardiff,Wales
    Age
    71
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    I agree with you jimmys69. My first twenty songs had no chorus or bridge. I didn't plan it that way. it was done by feel. Friends liked the songs and didn't notice anything missing. They worked by having a strong verse melody and another strong melody for a B section. As opposed to having a boring off-the-peg verse and a strong chorus. I hate those songs. 2 chords for verses.
    Lots of potential songwriters think that you need verse, bridge, chorus. How do they expect to be original working with a formula? There are a lot of Beatles songs with no chorus.

    Here's a verse from one of my songs.

    Here's a love song, I know you don't deserve it
    A love song, just came into my head
    I don't remember who was to blame
    I can't even remember your name
    Well, to be honest, that's a lie
    I choose to forget and I'm not sure why
    But it's a love song so you must have meant something to me

  4. #34
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    Hi folks,

    Thanks for all the input. Makes for music. I'm writing away but mainly poetry and that doesn't always rhyme either. I'm not into limiting things to a formula as you say, although it's good to know how things work. I'm up for co-writing and getting ideas going. Anyone up for that?

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Ranelagh Tasmania
    Age
    69
    Posts
    8,410
    Thanks
    238
    Thanked 726 Times in 600 Posts
    Rep Power
    21474859
    Quote Originally Posted by jimmys69 View Post
    There is no rhyming structure there, yet the song has some meaning right?
    Very true. But it takes a lot of lyrical skill to put together a song without a rhyming structure and still provide cadence and cohesion. Lennon wrote this track to poke his finer at those who were pretentiously trying analyze The Beatles' songs. It was a deliberate series of nonsense thoughts with no implied nor intended meaning. Despite that, the nonsense is extremely well-crafted nonsense.

    Quote Originally Posted by jimmys69 View Post
    I find that the best written lyrics that get to my soul, are ones that are not direct in the premise. Ones that allow the listener to interject their own personal take on what the lyrics mean.
    This is particularly true of songs with a 'message'. People don't like being told what to do or think at the best of times, let alone via a song. If a song is written with a purpose of conveying a message, it needs to do so in a way that allows the listener to interpret that and draw their own conclusion, rather than being preached at.

    But even for generic love songs you get a better and wider response if you write in a way that allows a listener to relate the lyrics to their own experiences. Being too specific limits the song's appeal, as you say.

    Truly, "Vagueness is a virtue when writing".

  6. #36
    Join Date
    May 2020
    Posts
    13
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by jimmys69 View Post
    When did a song need to have rhyming lyrics? Oh yeah, many pop songs that young children can associate with... LOL!

    There is no right or wrong. One generation might consider 'I Am The Walrus' an awesome lyric. I actually do, even though I am not really a Beatles fan.

    I am he as
    you are he
    as you are me
    And we are all together

    See how they run
    like pigs from a gun
    See how they fly
    I'm crying

    Sitting on a corn flake
    Waiting for the van to come
    Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
    Man you've been a naughty boy
    You let your face grow long
    I am the egg man
    They are the egg men
    I am the walrus
    Goo goo g'joob

    Mister City
    policeman sitting
    Pretty little
    policemen in a row

    See how they fly like
    Lucy in the sky,
    see how they run
    I'm crying,

    I'm crying
    I'm crying, I'm crying

    Yellow matter custard
    Dripping from a dead dog's eye

    Crabalocker fishwife,
    pornographic priestess
    Boy, you've been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down

    I am the egg man
    They are the egg men
    I am the walrus
    Goo goo g'joob


    There is no rhyming structure there, yet the song has some meaning right? And no racial or gangsta subtleties.
    There are plenty of rhymes. but he chose to go with more internal rhymes. Also, I said a musical rhyme does not have to be perfect. Frinstance:

    City, sitting, pretty, little - those are imperfect rhymes but the do the job. Plus this song is the exception, I could show the rhymes to hundreds of hit songs, it isn't rocket science.

    Yesterday
    All my troubles seemed so far away
    Now it looks as though they're here to stay
    Oh, I believe in yesterday

    Suddenly.
    I'm not half the man I used to be
    There's a shadow hanging over me
    Yesterday came suddenly

    Why she, had to go, I don't know she wouldn't say
    I said, something wrong, now I long for yesterday


    Not only does this lyric rhyme like crazy, internally and at the ends of lines, but also, look at how he started and ended each verse with the same word. Lyric writing can be simple, but it is different from poetry.
    Plus, also look at the syllable accents:

    All my troubles seemed so far away
    Now it looks as though they're here to stay

    I'm not half the man I used to be
    There's a shadow hanging over me

    If you look at a songbook you will see that they only write the melody once but they show two or even three sets of lyrics below it. That indicates that the syllabic feel and count is (nearly) identical with each new verse - including the rhythm. Look at the rhythm of your words and see if they all count out the same way in sequential verses.

    Why she had _ to _go, _ _ I don't know, she wouldn't say
    I said _ something wrong, _now I long for yes-ter ___ day
    1 _ 2, _ 1 __ 2 ___3 _____,1 _ 2 3 _ _1 _ 2 _ 3 - _ _ _ 1

    I mean... either you want real advice or you just want to write poems and look for people who put music to them. I have tried to work with poets before, it just doesn't lend itself to great songwriting.
    I like to tell aspiring lyricists the two easiest words to rhyme are "you" and "me" - and to think "songs" not poems.
    Last edited by motterpaul; 6 Days Ago at 13:03.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    468
    Thanks
    45
    Thanked 34 Times in 33 Posts
    Rep Power
    3069962
    There used to be a musician (deceased), went by the name "dugz ink", who was a member of a bunch of websites. He had a terrific series of posts on Rich's (also deceased) tweakheadz / studiocentral sites. For the life of me, I cannot find the posts but they're worth searching for. Doug taught me a lot about lyric writing.

    There's a funny thing about looking at the lyrics/poems of others, IMO - sometimes an entire song will pop into my head when I read somebody's work. Most times, it doesn't happen but it sure is fun when it does. So keep searching, keep collaborating.

    Timbo

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Location
    Cardiff,Wales
    Age
    71
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    motterpaul
    Although I didn't think a lot of the lyric you posted earlier - Mr Mystery - I do agree with you generally. I write lyrics and poetry, and I'm well aware that they are completely different.
    When I write a poem I have a rhythm in my head akin to a railway track sound. It's easier than counting syllables on fingers. I call that experience. Last night I wrote a poem. The first line has eight syllables so all the lines must have the same. I'm talking about real poetry that rhymes and can be read aloud, not prose with excessive carriage returns.
    When I write song I have a musical rhythm in my head. The syllable count need not be so strict because a vowel can spread over more than one note. A song, unlike a poem, needs a diversion - a B section or a refrain or a chorus - to prevent the audience getting bored. Also the song title needs to be heard in the song, preferably more than once, so that the listener is in no doubt about the title.
    I tended to write mostly songs before the lockdown, but now it's mostly poems because I can't perform. I agree that most poems make bad lyrics, and most lyrics need the tune to give them form. Poems and lyrics are different things.
    I wrote poem last month which a friend turned into a song. I was surprised. I couldn't hear a tune when I wrote it, or afterwards. I had mentally filed it under Poems. However, this is the exception and not the rule.

  9. #39
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Posts
    16
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    Hey folks,

    Appreciate all the incredible responses. So great to get advice from professional lyricists. I refer to throwing ideas around for songs not necessarily using my poetry specifically but collaborating brings out ideas, like brainstorming.
    Keep the comments coming!

  10. #40
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Location
    Cardiff,Wales
    Age
    71
    Posts
    8
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    0
    Ciren. Look at the lyrics (first verse) of one of the best songs ever written Smile Charlie Chaplin: Music (1936) John Turner/Geoffrey Parsons: Lyrics (1954)
    Notice that the title appears four times in this verse, and twice in the second verse. Notice the pattern of 3 long lines & 1 short, which is repeated. Notice the rhyming, and most of all the clear meaning of the lyrics.

    Smile, though your heart is aching
    Smile, even though it’s breaking
    When there are clouds in the sky
    You’ll get by
    If you smile through your fear and sorrow
    Smile and maybe tomorrow
    You’ll see the sun come shining through,
    For you

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Love above the high water line - lyrics
    By Whatmysay in forum Song Writing & Composition
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-08-2011, 19:38
  2. New Lyrics - Now That I've Found Love
    By ido1957 in forum Song Writing & Composition
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-14-2007, 18:34
  3. Just Like Love Open Collaboration
    By bknot1 in forum DJ & Hip Hop Production
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 04-19-2007, 04:43
  4. Melodic Punk Collaboration Lyrics
    By studioviols in forum Vocal Technique & Processing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-03-2003, 02:26

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •