OP dude...I sympathise. I've recorded a stack of stuff with great gear that sounds pedestrian. Mostly, stuff doesn't work out for me because the song just isn't good enough. Or the execution of the performance is poor. I'm currently trying to be less ambitious. I'm trying to get as simple as I can and still make an ok song. I feel like sometimes as home hobby recording dudes, our eyes can be too big for our belly and our imagination, which tends to run rampant and swing for the rafters, makes what we actually put down disappointing in comparison. I've thought about totally giving up many times...selling everything, concentrating on gardening. Some home recording dudes nail it easy, some of us struggle. Keep at it...when you reach max frustration try to simplify. Shoot for a 2 minute song, keeping things real simple. I dunno what else to say. It's a hell of a long way to the top if you wanna rock and or roll, like I do...from the spare bedroom in your home, with crap room treatment, never truly knowing what your ears are telling you.
My struggles with home recording:
a) Mixing. Getting mixes to translate.
b) Lacklustre performance
c) Bad tone selection
d) Bad room
e) Poor arrangement
f) Lame writing
I could go on and complete the alphabet, but that would be boring.