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These were written -- extemporaneously* -- and performed by my 4-year-old, who accompanied himself on drums. Recorded on a TASCAM 488 MkII, then dumped to Cakewalk Pro Audio where I added a bit of reverb and stereo enhancement and converted them to self-streaming RealAudio format. Per my latest discoveries about RealAudio, I've laboriously re-encoded all this in three ways for each song:

  • 16 kbps mono format, guaranteed to stream no matter how slow your modem or old your RealPlayer
  • 32 kbps stereo, which should just about stream with a 33.6 modem (or download the .ra files)
  • 80 kbps stereo, which will stream on dual ISDN or T-1 or cable, everyone else gotta download it to hear how good it sounds

(Please let me know if you're still having trouble hearing any of this and tell me your platform, connection speed, and RealPlayer version.)

P.S. This work speaks for itself, other than the fact that some of the words are completely made up and he can't satisfactorily explain what they mean, although he seems to use them in the same context each time...check out the liner notes to the Robert Johnson complete collection, there's a lot of the same kind of thing there. When he hits 9, look out world!

P.P.S. Microsoft's Media Player can be kicked into working with RealAudio (try View/Options/Formats and find RealAudio at the end; upgrade online if necessary from the Help menu)
-- Dragon

When I first got my sharks
Then I had to set up my tank
And my Dad setted up the tank
And he said when I'm taller
I could feed my own sharks
And I did know what to do.

When there was a sea that was in America
Then there was a boat that had pirates in it
And it had a pirate flag
And they were fighting other people
But when I samed they couldn't do it
Well they were fighting
And then one morning they said to their captain,
"Captain, where are you?"
And (they) he said "Well, I'm outside".

And they didn't know when they was aiming
I couldn't understand what the captain was saying
To them

But when I camed
I couldn't know what to do
By saving that baby dragon
And he was a baby jellybean dragon!

When I walked into my Dad's office
Then I said "That screen looks different!"
And my Dad said "Yes, it does"
Until I samed on
When I saw the double Mu Shus
And they were two Mu Shus       (this refers to a "Mulan" screen background I made -- Dragon)

And when I tanked
I couldn't know what to do
After I went in my Dad's office
And I never knowed what to do
But I just wanted to watch how he did it
And he showed me how to do it
And I said..."Huh?"                    (pretty good description of most of the stuff I do -- Dragon)

And when I was aiming
He couldn't aim on that!

When I was aiming
And I heard a sound
And I wondered what it was
But my mind told me
That it was lightning

When I said "What's going to be after my birthday
and what is after a few days?"
And my Dad said, "We're going to go to Disneyland!"
And I said, "That's great!"
Because I wanted to go there.

When I was saming
When I heard a sound
Like this:
Then I just wondered what it was
And I was aiming
When I couldn't aim
On the day made
When I couldn't same

Then I was same
When I was thinking on the angel
I didn't know what to do
And I samed what I was doing
And I was singing the song about
Anchors and other stuff
And when I was aiming on an angel

When I was aiming
On this day
When it was very special
I was going
When I camed
I didn't know what to do
On that beautiful day

And when I pointed at
That back yard
I said to myself
I'd have to play outside

I didn't know
What to do
And I did not...
Know what to do
On that beautiful day

I wanted to play

And I never wanted
On that day!

When I was aiming
I couldn't on that pirate shirt.

* Steven said it took a long time to write these songs..."about 60 or 80 years" :-) If you don't know what "extemporaneously" means, though, it's not half as funny.

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