I love the vocals, production, arrangement, lyrics, and the whole idea. This is really well put together and a great tune.
The only thing that keeps it from being perfect to me is the drums. I know you deliberately went for a "cold" "robotic" feel for them, and I understand that. But the probelm is (of course, this is all in my humble opinion, certainly not trying to teach you something) that the vocals and the rest of the production sounds so polished. The drums stand out because of that. If I was hearing this without having any background on the song or paying attention to the lyrics, I'd think "He did all the tracks over the drum machine, but he's going to add real or better drums later, right?" if you are going to keep those drums, I think you can bring up the kik. It's not hitting me in the chest, but I hear that it can. I think it's just slight volume thing.
This might just be me speaking as a drummer, so take it for what it's worth. I really think your recording, writing and arranging skills are awesome!!!