What do you think of these...

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silver_addict

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It's a first draft, so it's not even as I good as I want it to be. Some of it doesn't rhyme. Here it goes:

(1st Verse)
The apocalypse delivered to me through a thin black cord and straight into my brain. It’s a lot of noise, and I can’t stand it. Now there’s something else you keep from me.

(Bridge?)
Remember when you said,
There’s a monster you’ll never be,
Now you’re in my closet,
Claws and fangs and blood,
You’re scaring me
(you scare me)


(2nd Verse)
Now that things have changed, I feel this coming to suggest an end and cloud my reason. It extends to me an invitation to leave this (and you), how does that sound?

(Chorus)
I am blown away
Scared of the dark
Stay awake, sleep all day

This is tempting me
I could escape
I could be lost at sea


That's all. I appreciate honesty, so tell me what you really think.
 
the verses sound like they should be whispered, and then you kick into Metalcore for the chorus/refrain bits. not bad!
 
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