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steppingonmars

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I feel like something is missing in this song, not sure what it is, might be the guitars, or maybe needs some keys? The performance is a little lack luster, maybe that's it

Anyways any comments would be appreciated

http://www.box.net/shared/4m0ci2sz09
 
Don't sound like there's much missing to me dude, not instrument wise anyway...although thinking about it, a bit of Jazzy organ wouldn't go a miss.

A good swinging track mate...thanks for sharing.

Mart.
 
Missing: Low frequencies in the drum kit's skins.

Pan solos closer to center.

Cut the trebs in the solo guitars. [is that a Tele? A Les Paul w/single coils? Hurts my fillings. And cut the levels of the outside solos.....too loud.

Vox up.
Bass up.

How I'd fix the tune:

The outside rythm guits have a decent chunk to the sound...but the way they're played...that loose-wristed folky strum...is too phat and lazy. What would improve it is down-stroke eighths on the two or three low strings...power notes 1,5, and 1. chugchugchug. Let them open up in the choruses.

The bass needs to play an almost 'walking' melody to knit the rest together. Think The Doors' "LA Woman". That style would move the tune.

And, finally there's a guitar soloing R, and it plays a whopping avoid-note that just sits there in the second chorus...IIRC. Go borrow some nicer notes from another part of the track and edit out the fish.

The drum figure plods. Simplify...get rid of the anticipations for the most part...and play beat #3 on the bass drum more consistently. It's a hole worth filling....a stepping stone to groove. I think it's better to have a rockin' basic drum thing....like the guy in AC/DC does...than outfox yerself with jazzy anticipation figures. At least through the verses. Lay it down.

Every instrument is playing every anticipation...and there's no ricochet effect with instruments playing occasionally against each other's figures.

The poetry is too repetitive. Rhyming couplets in the chorus would be niftier than the treble re-statement in the chorus' line, and the background vox's answers...a little more Shakespeare.....

The snare sounds funny in the intro...I's borrow a sequence of nicer hits from alsewhere in the snare track...if possible.

That's my ideas.... YMMV :^)
 
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Thanks Jeff, I think you've hit the nail on the head

I'll fix up those mix issues for now and ask the father in law if he wants to do stuff over again
 
It's hard giving opinion like that when you know the poster is the player/engineer. But worse when sons-in-law use it as potential leverage against an old rocker, set in his ways, and not inclined to do what sonny-in-law boy wants. You set me up to assassanate the old guy. My brother, in father-in-law-hood. You're gonna get COAL for Christmas. Mebbe worse.

11th commandment: Honor, and suck up to, thyn in-laws.

Hell awaits you. :^)
 
jeffmaher said:
It's hard giving opinion like that when you know the poster is the player/engineer. But worse when sons-in-law use it as potential leverage against an old rocker, set in his ways, and not inclined to do what sonny-in-law boy wants. You set me up to assassanate the old guy. My brother, in father-in-law-hood. You're gonna get COAL for Christmas. Mebbe worse.

11th commandment: Honor, and suck up to, thyn in-laws.

Hell awaits you. :^)
Click to expand...

Ha true true, probably gonna just fix the mix and let him keep buying me hamburgers for lunch after recording. We had a blast doing this.
 
Remix first

Ok thanks guys, here's what I've done so far

Eq'd, brought back the lead guitars. Shaped the bass a bit. Put the vox up and eq'd. Pulled out some of the mudd in the mix and put just a tad of reverb on the master to gel it a little better, thanks for listening!

http://www.box.net/shared/96kuilttqs
 
steppingonmars said:
Ok thanks guys, here's what I've done so far

Eq'd, brought back the lead guitars. Shaped the bass a bit. Put the vox up and eq'd. Pulled out some of the mudd in the mix and put just a tad of reverb on the master to gel it a little better, thanks for listening!

http://www.box.net/shared/96kuilttqs
Click to expand...

Listening to this mix. I really like the song. Good performance all around, except maybe vocals could use a little more energy, but still good as they are now.

I feel a disconnect in the mix and think it could be the drums not balanced. Too much snare?? Too little kick?? I'm hearing more click than oomph, I'm not sure. Individually, each part sounds great, together.. something's missing.

But none-the-less. great song... thanks for sharing.
 
It sounds like you went maybe too far with the 'bass up'?? The guits a little too loud...and, again...I think you over-compensated in the right direction??

Aside from that, I listened carefully a few times...looking for 'that element' that isn't there. Think I finally figured it out:

Listen to the cut again. Turn the treble all the way up. There's something not there...which should be a lot there, with the trebs maxed.

High hat. Doesn't exist, as far as I can tell....no time constant....no division of time in eighths or quarters. It's why the anticipations were bothering me. The 'no ricochet' irritation was happening because the time division constant doesn't exist for the anticipations to ....um...ricochet off, sort of.


Also noted that when I jacked the treb all the way up, it has very little effect on the record as a whole...... I can hear the crash. But the track seems very heavily biased to upper mids and lows. Not much into the sizzle-zone.

Anybody else not hear HH??
 
hmmm

Yeah I think the guitars are probably the issue for the upper mids. I think I have source problems there

As for the top end

Are you streaming it or are you downloading it? The box streamer is uber compressed and probably has no top end at all and what's left is just garbaldy gook. Just want to make sure as I don't want to piss off the neighbours dogs with a mix to satisfy that player

I also have a room reverb on the drum buss, maybe it's garbling up the hats a little, I'll try it with it off.

The bass is cleaner now therefore more prominent, I'll pull it back a bit

Thanks for the input so far!
 
No, no - the bass is well placed as is the bass drum. Deal with the snare however - too far up front, Milo foil seal sounding & dry.
Pan the HHat a little more.
Why is the solo a little off centre? It should be up the middle until the reciprocation. There's not enough over the pther side to balance it - my head feels lop sided.
The song is good, the performances are pretty good too.
Mix is getting very good indeed.
 
I thought the mix sounded pretty good. I like the snare out infront as it is. Overall the drum sound is pretty good. The thing that bothers me is the guitar on my right side, it's quite loud. Nice song, though.

Joey :):):):)
 
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