two new songs

  • Thread starter Thread starter grn
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grn

grn

Well-known member
you may have listened to my material before (with escape velocity), but I have started something completely different - I still don't think I sound like Rufus Wainwright, haha.

if you don't mind, please check out www.myspace.com/ciaoroma

and specifically listen to "Lay your body down" and "Casablanca by the riverside" and give me some criticism of this new material. I'm looking more for criticisms on concept, not content, if that makes sense.
 
What kind of critisism are you looking for? Recording or over all song?

The Casablanca song didn't do too much for me. It's off to a good start, but could possibly use some rearanging, or just basically anything.

Lay Your Body Down was better. As a 'rock' kind of guy, I'm hearing all these great area's to chime in on with my Ibanez. :) I'm sure that would just ruin what you feel you're going for tho.

Lay your Body Down - For that, I would make two vocal tracks. The chorus being one, and the verse's being another. Right now you can tell where you have to stop the verse, and start in with the chorus... but the style of the song demands the last notes of the verse to follow through into the chorus by about a 1/2 beat or possibly a full beat. Listening to the song again... I think that'd sound pretty cool. Meh... maybe i'm just an idiot tho. ;)

Also, with that same song, it almost needs 'more' of something. Perhaps, mix it up in the middle OR end of the song with an entirely new rhythm, lyrics, or whatever your imagination gives you. Perhaps just in the middle, then switch back to the chorus at the very end.

Work on the lead solo. Sounds good, but it's lacking that extra something that makes it 'memorable'.

In a situation like this, I can see where this song was developed doing things you feel comfortable doing. And now you just need to push yourself in a direction you probably wouldn't typically go. You might suprise yourself, and create a masterpiece.

Meh... take it how you will... just my two cents.
 
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